I got that funny feeling, that you don’t love me anymore…

July 15th, 2004

I’m sooo glad this whole feeding thing is working out well. Insert sarcasam here.

Nah, I don’t MIND the feedings and the breastfeeding isn’t half as horrid as I planned on it being, but seeing as I am sitting here with CABBAGE covering my big huge boobies and a breast pump that can’t pump anything out because obviously, my milk prefers to stay with me, I’m ready for things to start working.

Actually, the cabbage makes a nice bra because my already large boobs are now so big that they require their own zip code to get mail.

I better stop talking about said boobs or the baby is going to hear me and then she is going to come over to me and give me That Look that says “Why the hell doesn’t your boobies make milk like everyone else’s boobies do?”

So instead I’ll tell you that the SheNuts are going down, though a quick view down there with a mirror showed me that uh, the carnage of my vagina still exists.

And my doctor told me not to have intercourse. Ha! Well, obviously she didn’t know that my half swollen perinium is such a turn on in the Get It On Department.

Okay, I’ll post a few more pictures at a later time and stuff but our internet/phones are being stupid and I just don’t feel like waiting 5 hours to see if the picture might possibly download.

So thanks for all the nice wishes. Me, the Hubs and The Furby Baby are all doing well. Except for the boobs. And that whole “You don’t feed me so I stay up all night” thing.


  1. Ali wrote,

    Oh, I remember those times well! I’ve never had big boobs in my life, but three days after my daughter was born I woke up with boobs the size of cantaloups! I miss those times now, once I quit breastfeeding they shrunk down even smaller than they were before.
    Hot rags work to get the milk flowing and to ease the discomfort as well. Hope that you are getting rest and enjoying your new baby. I have really enjoyed reading about the whole thing.

    Comment on 7/15/2004 @ 3:57 pm

  2. Lauren wrote,

    Uh yeah, Grace has this whole, “I am going to sleep and look like an angel ALLL the day long and then eat, whine, and stay wide the hell awake all night unless you hold me, then I will sleep” thing going on. *sighs* =)

    Comment on 7/15/2004 @ 4:32 pm

  3. Melodee wrote,

    Hey, why are you using a pump at this early stage? Just use the baby. It’s oh-so-much easier! Seriously! Breastfeeding gets easier as time goes on. I promise.

    Comment on 7/15/2004 @ 7:27 pm

  4. bubba wrote,

    Wow! You used the word ‘vagina’! I didn’t know you knew it… ;)

    Comment on 7/15/2004 @ 11:18 pm

  5. alisa wrote,

    First of all, Congratulations! Second can I say how impressed I am that you blogged your way through labor? I love my blog and I really thought I’d have updates but once the contractions hit it was all I could do to cope. Third, it took a while for my milk to flow and then it was plenty. Stick it out for a long as you can and as long as Ellie is healthy. By the way love the name. Thanks for the hilarious description of your nether regions after birth. It actually made me laugh despite how torturous the whole thing was.

    Comment on 7/16/2004 @ 12:22 am

  6. glittergirl wrote,

    congrats… obviously.

    When I breastfed I incountered the same boobie problems. I went to the grocery store and got engorged (sounds so glam)… got cranky (like I wasn’t already… got in a slight altrication with the husband… came home and went straight to hot soaking the boobs… one at a time in the bathroom sink on account of their hugeness. After doing that for 20 minutes (crying and screaming the whole time)I’d pump until I couldn’t take it anymore… then I soaked again…I repeated this vicious cycle only stopping for one beer (it works really… gets the milk down and flowing)…within a few hours I was pumping strawberry milk and the lump disappeared. Oh… massaging the boob while soaking helps too… I wouldn’t recommend the husband to help unless he wants to loose a few fingers.

    Comment on 7/16/2004 @ 2:37 am

  7. Kellie wrote,

    Drink a beer and then take a hot shower. I can’t promise you it will work, but it is one of the recommendations my nazi LLL gave me. It worked for me and my aunt nursed her whole gaggle of kids and that is also what she would do to help.
    Keep it up and it should improve. Don’t let yourself get frustrated and overwhelmed because Ellie might sense that and become unsettled (that is what I was told anyway. My child was unsettled the first 9 months of his life though so I am not sure I could have done anything).

    Anyway, don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work. Just do what you believe is best for you and Ellie.

    Comment on 7/16/2004 @ 10:30 am

  8. bella wrote,

    It can take up to six weeks to get the feeding routine happening so don’t consider yourself a failure just yet. Persevere, it’s worth it. Oh and I am assuming, of course, that when you say you will post photos you mean of Ellie and not the swollen perinium thing….of course you did…

    Comment on 7/16/2004 @ 1:28 pm

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