N’Secure

August 11th, 2005

Blogging, for some reason, can make me feel very “in control” and very “insecure” at the same time. It seems like recently that the insecure part of me is taking over. In fact, I’m letting little stupid blogging things that really aren’t no big deal get to me.

So, to make myself feel better, please tell me what about blogging makes you feel insecure? Cause, you know, misery loves company.

67 Comments

  1. crazedparent wrote,

    hmmm. so i get really insecure when i think i’ve written a brilliant post and no one comments. but what really gets me? when someone had me on their blogroll and they take me off. come on, what’s up with that? my stuff isn’t good enough??

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 6:44 pm

  2. Y wrote,

    You might want to check with your doctor, but MAYBE you have Blogger depression?

    Ok, my attempt at trying to bring The Funny.

    It’s just a blog, that’s what I tell myself. But man, if no one comments on a post I took a lot of time writing? I feel like I am a failure. but then I just turn off the computer, go play with my kids , and I get over it.

    I have really great kids and that’s all that matters. Seriously.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 6:56 pm

  3. Crazy MomCat wrote,

    Yeah, the comment thing gets me. I know I have lots of regular readers, but they don’t comment. And not getting linked by someone when you know they read you regularly is kind of weird too. But, I’m just getting into this thing, so I try not to let it bug me too much.

    How about when you read a good friend’s blog who writes about appreciating their good friends and they fail to list you off? THat always feels nice….

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:23 pm

  4. Jabberwocky wrote,

    What makes me insecure about blogging? Being too afraid to post a comment (even though you read regularly and laugh your ass off on an almost daily basis) because you don’t feel witty enough.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:27 pm

  5. Dillygirl wrote,

    I second all of the above comments. Also, worrying if something you post is going to cause the visitors/commenters you have to stop reading. It’s the same kind of insecurity that reminds me of high school… so I try not to worry about who is reading and when and why, etc.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:33 pm

  6. kate wrote,

    I never feel like my writing is good enough. I’ve re-written that sentence 6 times.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:38 pm

  7. mushster wrote,

    Hmm, thinking I make lame comments and basically having a boring blog.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:42 pm

  8. NAN wrote,

    I’M SCARED THAT SOMEONE WILL SAY REALY NASTY THINGS TO ME IN MY COMMENT SECTION ON MY BLOG. I’VE SEE THAT HAPPEN ON OTHER PEOPLE’S BLOG.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:47 pm

  9. Amy wrote,

    Worrying that something I said is freaking out my mom or local friends and they’re going to have some kind of intervention because I’ve gone off the deep end. Also, what everyone else said.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:48 pm

  10. kim wrote,

    yeah, i’m with several here who worry about the level of interest, wit and amusement in my blog. but then i remind myself that i do it mostly for me, a tiny bit for my family….

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 7:55 pm

  11. MsShadow wrote,

    Long time lurker. I worry that mine is boring cause I don’t have kids anymore or a partner, it’s just me and my dogs. But sometimes I’m funny.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:07 pm

  12. April wrote,

    What makes me insecure is two things. One being that I can’t find clever enough things to say and people will read my blog and think I’m dumb and secondly I feel like I can’t be myself because too many people I know do read my blog and I don’t want them to read certain things.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:11 pm

  13. ManicMom wrote,

    What makes me insecure is the fact that my family could find my blog. And while I want to rant about them at times and it IS my space, if they found it, then I’d have to deal with hurt feelings and being told how I’m just a selfish brat or worse. So, I try not to even mention them, but I suppose I should take out the categories that list certain people - i.e. my dad - just in case :)

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:18 pm

  14. lochmoor mom wrote,

    Delurking to say that what makes me insecure is that no one ever leaves a comment on my blog. I don’t think anyone but one person ever reads it. Hey, I know I’m not the best writer in in the world, but ya think at least some friends would leave a comment.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:38 pm

  15. Nancy France wrote,

    What makes me insecure is wanting my family to read my blog… but then wanting to blog about my family and some current issues we have. Not a happy mix, no sah!

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:39 pm

  16. Jenna wrote,

    I always get insecure about posting *personal* stuff. I dont feel I can really vent on my blog anymore because my (now ex) boyfriend used to read it and get mad at me over little things. Like stupid little comments became a big freakin deal. Yeah, now we’re broke up.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:43 pm

  17. clickmom wrote,

    The no comments thing definitely makes me insecure. I want to be a good writer . (OK, I am getting just a little competitive with one of the columnists from my paper) . Actually, I know my editor (I reluctantly admit to loving and adoring her) reads my blog, and all I want is for her to tell me that I am funnier than the above columnist and that she is going to run something I wrote. Hasn’t happened….. yet.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:48 pm

  18. susan wrote,

    When I read the big, popular blogs (like this one), I get a cold, shivery feeling inside.

    I ask myself “Who the fuck do you think you are and why the fuck are you blogging? Your blog sucks compared to those witty, beautifully written blogs. Your life is boring compared everyone else’s in the blogoshpere. Pull the trigger on the blog!”

    Those are my insecurities.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:50 pm

  19. Michelle wrote,

    I dislike feeling like all these strangers are staring at me. So few people comment. The average seems to be about 1-3% of readers comment (for all blogs, not just mine). I know big, popular blogs who still only have 1-3% of readers commenting, at least I’m statistically equal.

    The link thing gets to me too. People just take you off and don’t tell you b/c they don’t want you do delink them.

    Or one day you’re just gone, off the list.

    But, eh, who cares, really? I just remind myself, I’ve got several people who really like what I have to say to the point they scoured the internet looking for me when I moved w/o leaving a forwarding address. At least I resonate with someone.

    And it helps when I get published. Anytime someone pays me for writing, it makes me feel better about the blogging. At least for me.

    M
    M

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 8:53 pm

  20. Em wrote,

    What they said. All of it. I’m afraid of being discovered by my family, afraid of getting comments/not getting comments, being stupid, not being as great as the blogs I read, not being interesting even to myself, having nothing to write, being labeled a “mommy blogger” with the whining it implies (especially when I do whine about my kids), not really knowing why I blog, wanting to do it for myself but wanting outside approval then getting mad at myself for wanting that. Which is why I haven’t blogged since like April.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 9:14 pm

  21. Laura GF wrote,

    I’m really really new to blogging, and I wonder if my blog is just lame. I am still finding my way, and I wonder if people will come across my site and give up on me early on because of that. SJ, I adore your site and come back again and again, but I am very guilty of not commenting as often as I ought to. You are fantastic at this.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 9:14 pm

  22. Emily wrote,

    My blog isn’t there for popularity, because really, I’ve never been Ms. Popular and I don’t expect that to start now! No one ever really comments on my site and I think only one person has me linked to their site ~ which was a huge compliment when she did! So I guess that defines my site as a failure. I know people are reading though b/c my stats continuously grow. I have to keep my perspective…I blog for me and I have to stop getting wrapped up in the popularity game!

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 9:32 pm

  23. supa wrote,

    Interesting, SJ. I just had a crisis of confidence last week, directly related to my blog. It’s like all of us internet women get on the same cycle, but with bloggness instead of, um, MENSES.

    Yeah! I said it.

    But. As I was talking about. I get insecure about my blog crushes and my lack of being as awesome as them. And yeah, most of the insecurity is dumb and I know it’s dumb, but it gets me all the same.

    Would it help if I reminded you just how hard you rock?

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 9:33 pm

  24. Susie wrote,

    When post something new, sometimes I feel like I’m doing stand up but the spotlight shines so brightly in my face the room is dark and I have NO IDEA who is listening. I also read a lot of blogs that are well-written (like yours) and it makes me self-conscious and feel like I can’t write for crap. i pretend that I write for me alone, I do write for me - but also to connect with people. I want the comments to say “You nailed it” or “I had the same thing happen.”

    Maybe I should blog about it.

    Also all the post BlogHer brouhaha made me feel left out. I enjoyed reading about it for a while then I just felt like a peeping tom.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 9:54 pm

  25. Sarcomical wrote,

    …staring at an empty inbox
    …finding myself obsessively refreshing the stat counter and when i do, no new hits pop up.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 10:07 pm

  26. sherry wrote,

    Mine have all been listed - writing something, especially something important to me, and getting no comments; wanting to say something but worrying about alienating people. Those are the two big ones.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 10:15 pm

  27. DesertJade wrote,

    Oh boy, I am quite insecure about my blog… for many of the reasons listed… making comments that are probably going to sound stupid, not being a mom, or a writer, or being able to write anything interesting. But the most notable one (which I can’t even write on my OWN damn blog) is that I made the dumb mistake of letting the guy I am very interested in know about my blog. He reads it all the time, and I feel so vulnerable that I am such an open book to him. While I am going through HELL trying to figure out what he is thinking, he knows every little thought that I type. I have to think about everything I write, and what he would think when he reads it. It sucks.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 10:40 pm

  28. Jack's Raging Mommy wrote,

    The other day I became convinced that no one read me anymore and everyone hated me because no one commented all weekend. Since I’d posted my ring actually. So I begged the internet to reassure me that they liked me.
    I’m also convinced you think I am lame now, for pretty much the same reasons.

    I am insecure about everything.

    I also think the internet thinks I am big fat cow since they can see me in my proposal pics.

    It’s not just you.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 10:43 pm

  29. debutaunt wrote,

    I have lots of readers and very very few comments. Even when the lovely Y begged on my behalf for breaking the birthday comment record, I only got NINE. Nine I tell you.

    That and the fact that I have weird random fans who know all of my personal details, including my sex life and/or lack thereof, well it can weird you out and make you feel a bit so not secure-ish.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 11:08 pm

  30. julia wrote,

    no comments, hands down. It’s like having an answering machine with a big fat ZERO blinking away.

    I don’t know why it bothers me, since I am not writing for other people, but it does. I’ve even turned off comments now and then, but then I feel snotty or aloof.

    I don’t know why people do that … I know they’re there. When I visit other people’s blogs, I comment at least every other time, if not every time … just to say “I see you, I hear you.” Seems courteous, if nothing else.

    Comment on 8/11/2005 @ 11:11 pm

  31. jenB wrote,

    i am insecure about everything in general. but blogwise. i will read someone and think, that was so funny, i need to be more funny, or that was so poignant, i need more of that! etc etc. i never feel ok about how the blog is, or anything else for that matter. so there.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 12:22 am

  32. Mamacita wrote,

    All of the above, plus a bunch more.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 12:30 am

  33. AMC wrote,

    What makes me sad is I know I am just about the only one, other then my mom practically that ever reads it. :( How sad!

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 12:36 am

  34. Ronda wrote,

    I get insecure because the only people who read my blog are my friends and family. So, sometimes I feel like I really have to watch what I say. The other day I wrote the word “bitch” in my entry, and later thought about taking it out because my mom reads my blog. She wouldn’t even care, it’s just I get really worried about what some people in my life might think about what I say. It’s definitely more difficult than being anonymous.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 2:00 am

  35. karmajenn wrote,

    Misinterpretation - that’s what does it for me. When I’m feeling low and need to pour out all the stuff in my head onto a page, I worry that it will be completely misunderstood.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 6:06 am

  36. Léonie wrote,

    I get all caught up in “but.. but what’s the POINT?”. There is a blog being se up every minute in the UK. Makes me feel like such a cliché.
    I mainly worry about spelling mistakes.
    You are great, however.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 6:30 am

  37. Kellerbell wrote,

    I’m completely insecure about the comment thing. It makes me feel that my blogging is a waste of time or that apparently my blog must suck really bad. I try not to worry about, but I end up checking for comments several times a day, and when I see “No comments” I get so depressed.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 7:08 am

  38. Jessie wrote,

    I feel insecure when I see my counter at the bottom of my page and realize that no one has visited in a couple of days and then I think that the only person who reads and laughs at my posts is me.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 7:32 am

  39. momcast wrote,

    That family reads - that I’m not funny enough.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 7:38 am

  40. honey bunny wrote,

    no one reads my blog so there’s no need for me to feel insecure.

    meh.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 8:03 am

  41. Dianna wrote,

    As a long time lurker, I can say that I am SO sorry for not commenting…I simply didn’t realize how much the comments meant.

    I check back here several times a day to see if there’s something new, but am always afraid of sounding like “someone who rides the short bus AND wears a helmet”.

    What I can’t figure out are the people who feel the need to be mean. Do they not know the meaning of the word sarcasm?

    OK, OK, I’ll start commenting, but forgive me of I sound like a stalker or a short bus rider…

    Dianna

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 8:18 am

  42. susan wrote,

    I left a comment earlier, but reading all the people who don’t get comments, I would like to share what happened with me.

    I used to only comment on larger blogs, and was very depressed when I didn’t get comments on my blog. Then, I started visiting small blogs that were similar in tone to mine, and voila I started to get comments. Traffic slowly started to build. That’s really the best way to do it. You can find some nice blogs through the “next blog” button.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 8:39 am

  43. SuzanH wrote,

    All of the above. I think the worst is when I lay something out that I think is important or particularly funny and am greeted by dead air.

    And that feeling that even though I didn’t start this as a means of becoming superfamous in the blog world, I sometimes wonder why it bugs me that I’m not. Wow, pathetic and insecure.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 8:48 am

  44. Sara wrote,

    Insecurities:
    1. That nobody cares what I have to say and I don’t get any comments (yes, the normal one.
    2. That my dad is going to read it. Therefore, censorship here we come.
    3. That my boss is going to find it and fire my ass for having an opinion. Not such a big deal now that I don’t work at a big firm, but still in the back of my mind.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 8:51 am

  45. gronce wrote,

    I offended someone on my blog - not my intention At All. I don’t want to be offensive to people, I’m jus’ writin’ my life.

    Luckily, I haven’t told a soul I know about my blog. My blog is kind of like the things I think but dare not say. I don’t even have edgy thoughts, but I don’t want people close to me to know me this way.

    I don’t know…I’m a dumbass.

    Everyone has insecurities - everyone.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 9:02 am

  46. Nicole wrote,

    I am most insecure when I post something very serious about how I am feeling and supposed friends make nasty comments about me “hamming” it up. This is MY space and I get to say WHATEVER I want.

    I was dying reading some of these comments because I could have easily written almost all of them. It feels good to know that this is normal for the blogging world.

    I am so frustrated with my comments that I have often thought about just starting another blog somewhere else and not telling anyone, but that is letting them get the best of me, and that is not going to happen. So, I continue on and try very, very hard not to worry about what those people say or think. Meaness is spurred by their own insecurities and I personally find comfort in that. It must take alot more insecurities than I have to be that mean.

    Screw them and keep writing!

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 9:13 am

  47. Carrie wrote,

    I get insecure when I’ve written something that I think is really funny/brilliant whatever and NO ONE responds. I have a counter on my blog, so I KNOW people are reading, but NO ONE POSTS! lol Drives me freaking bonkers!

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 9:36 am

  48. Jesster wrote,

    I don’t know who, if anyone reads my blog (because I am too cheap to upgrade my service to find out which IP’s are reading it). Guess that’s ok because I write for me anyway, but it would be nice to be linked to, or even (dare I say it) a blog celebrity.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 9:47 am

  49. Curly Girl wrote,

    sharing my feelings with the internet and wondering if everyone will think i’m weak and or crazy.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 10:08 am

  50. Happay` wrote,

    I’m insecure about leaving a comment on other people’s blogs. I feel like just another bean in the bean soup and no one is going to notice the difference in my comment from the other comments. On my own blog I feel just about as akward writing stuff as I feel irl (meet Dr. Akward). But, I think that writing things out is actually helping me relate to people better. I’m pretty sure that I’m boring and I know about my, problems, with, commas, (and) parenthesis. I don’t write very well and make spelnig mistakes and that’s a fact. And as far as you being insecure - pffft. You. are. brilliant. and funny. and thoughtful. and entertaining.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 10:29 am

  51. Fellow Eskimo wrote,

    Not knowing who exactly sees my photos (particularly ones of myself), or knowing who visits my site.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 11:07 am

  52. poobou wrote,

    Well, thanks to blogs like yours, I’m now terrified that I’ll get fired for mine, so I avoid writing about work whenever possible.

    Other than that, yeah, what everyone else said. No comments, especially when I’ve written something that I thought was really funny. (Like yesterday! There were drawings, too! Go see! And leave me a comment about it! Please?) That my dad might read it and get upset. That people from high school, who I still dislike over 10 years later, might find me via my blog. That I might cross some invisible line and post something *too* personal (whatever that means). All that stuff.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 11:43 am

  53. Jeanette wrote,

    I’m always terrified that, after sharing personal stuff, someone will slam me for it.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 12:51 pm

  54. Corrie wrote,

    I’m insecure that people don’t like me…I don’t know, but I can tell you that you, the Sarcastic Journalist, made me feel better, when today, as I was barfing and peeing at the same time and I thought, “at least someone else does this.” I felt a bit better. Then I had to clean the mess up.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 1:23 pm

  55. Busy Mom wrote,

    I feel insecure when I blog without any clothes on. (OK, Seriously, all the above).

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 1:44 pm

  56. Lassa wrote,

    I love your site and don’t comment nearly as much as I should. You always make me laugh and I can totally sympathize with having a toddler and being pregnant, so I truly admire you for finding the funny in your everyday life.

    I try to not look at the number of people commenting, or my blog stats, because it is very depressing- But I have to accept that I’m just not able to express myself in words the way some people (like you!) can. And that’s what blogs are all about.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 1:56 pm

  57. Kris wrote,

    Sometimes the blogworld feels like high school, where all the cool kids hang out together and I’m on the outside. I try to remember that I started my blog as a place to write, for myself. But, sometimes, I get “blog depression.” I found this really helpful. ;) http://thenonist.com/index.php/weblog/permalink/a_nonist_public_service_pamphlet

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 2:34 pm

  58. Princess wrote,

    My blog makes me insecure, because I write things about my life, and I realize how inconsequential my life is. Realizing that tends to me me insecure about me entire existence.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 2:54 pm

  59. MollieBee wrote,

    One of the many reasons I don’t have comments open on my site. You know? I’d have to CARE about what people thought…and frankly, I could give 2 shits.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 2:54 pm

  60. Tracy wrote,

    I don’t get many comments at all on my blog. I have never been a good writer and that was the main reason why I started my blog. To learn how to write at least as well as I did back in school. I do, however get several emails. Mostly asking me about my kids, what I did for this or for that, etc. But where I get insecure is when I get e-mails saying that I’m wasting my time blogging. Getting the out of the blue person saying I don’t write well. Even if I already knew this, it’s still kida painful to hear it in such a blunt manner. But, then I just go about my life and after a while, I place the words written to me in such a manner, in the back of my mind.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 4:12 pm

  61. JP wrote,

    Knowing that some friends and family read when you want to just “spew” things out to the internet…it can make anyone insecure.

    I know what you mean…boy do I

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 5:35 pm

  62. marie b. wrote,

    i don’t feel “insecure” as such when this happens, just down.

    when i write a post and pour my heart into it, and no-one comments or even emails. that’s a stinger.

    Comment on 8/12/2005 @ 8:29 pm

  63. Orange wrote,

    I’d feel better if I got more comments. The 1% to 3% number someone cited sounds about right–why are the other 97% reading me? Have they got any response to what I wrote? Are they nice people? Are they nutty stalkers?

    My other insecurity was finding out the guy I have a married-lady crush on has been reading my blog FOR FOUR MONTHS without commenting or otherwise mentioning that he was reading it. I talked about getting bras in a new size, about shaving down below, and possibly about farts. Gack!

    Comment on 8/13/2005 @ 12:03 am

  64. danelle wrote,

    I’ve just gone public again after 18 months of having to password protect my blog. Now I’m feeling just a teeny bit censored…that makes me feel insecure.

    And definitely the comments. How can I have so many hits per day and get 1, 2 or NO comments. Sometimes it actually pisses me off. Blah.

    Comment on 8/14/2005 @ 11:11 am

  65. Bob wrote,

    Well, what a good question! I’m insecure that when I code messages to the Megatronic Voidal Warriors they will miss my calls to invade the earth and enslave all mommy bloggers and appoint me THE KING AND WARDEN OF THE MOMMY BLOGGER PRISON LOCATED SOMEWHERE IN WESTERN MONTANA AT A RANCH OF MY OWN CHOOSING, because I never can remember the exact correct sequence of chaining Megatronic Voidal Warrior binary command strings. But I’m getting better at it!

    Comment on 8/14/2005 @ 4:16 pm

  66. Jaded One wrote,

    Yeah…what they said.

    At first I really believed that “THIS “is how I’ll get the churned up but held in caca in my being out there. Once it was being put out there, I felt all vulnerable and started getting withdrawn as I am in my “real life”. The person who got me to blog was the person who made me decide to close down my original blog. I’ve started another with the idea to not really care about hits or comments and to keep it from becoming more important to me than it should. Re-learning to not give 2 shits what others opinions are is nearly impossible after a life time of being run by that.

    Having said that, SJ - you rock. You really do. I admire and envy you - is that possible? I envy your writing talent and I admire your courage to put yourself out there.

    Comment on 8/16/2005 @ 9:42 am

  67. Linda wrote,

    I’m brand new to blogging and what makes me feel insecure right now is that “What if I talk and it’s so uninteresting no one will listen?” I almost came when I got my first comment… It was pathetic. Really.

    I’m insecure now because I’m commenting on your blog, obviously a kick-ass and very popular one, and this very post has 60-something comments and I’m thinking “She’ll never even read this… what the heck does she need my stupid comments for? She has plenty, probably from blog-a-licious, funny, smart, popular people.

    It’s really all just like high school, right? hahah

    Comment on 8/21/2005 @ 2:40 pm

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