I didn’t plan on getting herpes for free…

March 4th, 2005

Dear Old Navy,

I know you’re busy keeping the prices low and stuff and I reallly appreciate it. My new capris? Totally awesome. More people should have blue pants.

Anyway, the dressing rooms. Today, I was in the dressing room with my kid. And, of course, the one time I didn’t bring her diaper bag with me, she got really pissed off. She was screaming and crying.

So I took her out of the stroller and put her on the ground. As I was across the room, trying to shimmy into my pants, I saw some stuff go from the floor to her mouth, via her grubby little hand.

I’m pretty sure that stuff wasn’t kosher, either.

Think about it. It will be hard for me to buy a tank top if my child’s face is covered with Dressing Room Herpes.

The Sarcastic Journalist


  1. kristine wrote,


    That is Naaaaaastay!!

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 6:19 pm

  2. Connor wrote,

    Ahhh, it is so nice to know someone else that is sane lives in the woodlands. I thought we had moved to disneyland! I haven’t met anyone else without the perfect husband and perfect children, etc. and just love living in the woodlands……… Please tell me there are more :)

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 9:35 pm

  3. Autumn wrote,

    Good Lord, woman. Never place your child on the floor of a dressing room.

    That said, never placee your child on the floor of my oldest son’s room. She’ll definately get some kind of sore.

    Comment on 3/5/2005 @ 5:16 pm

  4. Wendi wrote,

    Herpes…your Free gift with Purchase at Old Navy…..EWWWW!!!

    Comment on 3/5/2005 @ 6:43 pm

  5. Texas T-bone wrote,

    I bet most of the people who suffer from genital herpes don’t look nearly as hot as that chick on the TV commercial for that medicine.

    Make sure you wash your Old Navy clothes before wearing them, too. You never know what kind of pimply teen hormone factory peed all over them while possibly trying them on before you did.

    Comment on 3/5/2005 @ 10:09 pm

  6. Genuine wrote,

    That sound is me choking back the puke……

    Comment on 3/5/2005 @ 10:22 pm

  7. debutaunt wrote,

    Hey! I have herpes. I thought your post was completely distasteful and insensitive. It’s a real disease that happens to real people. I think I’m going to boycott your blog.

    HA! Kiddin’. Me no have herrrrrpppeeeas. My kid made me take her to the can in Old Navy Willowbrook. I made her wash her hands for like ten minutes. Then I slathered her in antibacterial lotion.

    The bathroom smelled like monkey ass. Well I’m sure that’s what monkey ass must smell like.

    Comment on 3/6/2005 @ 10:44 am

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