March 4th, 2005

Dear teenage girls:

So your boyfriend says he “loves you” and that he thinks you are “special.” He calls you “pretty” and says how you’ll be “together forever.”

That is, you’ll be together forever as long as you boink him.

Don’t listen to the lie! If five teenage boys would have sex with this woman:

…then do you really believe he thinks you are “beautiful” and “special?” It is called self respect. I know it is hard to resist Johnny with his braces and acne-ridden skin. I’m sure his no ass is really hot, especially since his pants hang off it, exposing it for the bony rump it really is.

Because? Seriously? If he would do THAT, what does it make you?

I think this falls under the “If it has two legs and a hole category.”


  1. janna wrote,

    Oh, SJ. Sometimes I fell a little bit sad about not (ever) dating in high school, but not really. I think I like older men anyway. And maybe men with some taste, something those boys obviously had none of.

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 12:08 am

  2. Sarcastic Journalist wrote,

    Dear Beautiful Janna,

    I only once dated a boy who went to my high school. I did not go to any of the dances. I did go to prom. WITH SOMEONE I DIDN’T KNOW.

    Somehow, I got married. It all works out. Not saying you need to get married because DON’T LET THE MAN GET YOU DOWN.

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 12:10 am

  3. Wendi wrote,

    Um….EW! I will definitely steer my 15 yr. old daughter over this way to read this entry tomorrow! If that isn’t enough to help scare her away from the teenage boys, I don’t know what else I can do! (Other then the constant baggering and threats of impending doom from her father and I!)

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 1:13 am

  4. David wrote,

    That’s just nasty….
    Grab some lotion and a sock and keep your pride…

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 1:50 am

  5. Corrie wrote,

    That is nasty, the mug shot that is…

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 8:35 am

  6. True Jersey Girl wrote,

    Just proof that boys will “do” anything.

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 9:42 am

  7. Thomas wrote,

    True Jersey Girl - Boys won’t “do” anything. 300 Boys a day in my school don’t do their homework. But in all seriousness, it is just the sexually deprived that you see out doing stuff like, well, what SJ showed you.

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 9:55 am

  8. Kristin wrote,

    Yummy. Now this is one argument against sex they haven’t tried yet in the schools.

    I was a good little girl in high school, thank goodness.

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 11:55 am

  9. kristine wrote,

    I think I just threw up a little bit.


    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 12:16 pm

  10. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch wrote,

    Like my husband likes to say, “It’s all pink in the middle”

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 12:31 pm

  11. coffeegirl wrote,

    See ya around the cell block, Mrs. Robinson!

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 5:06 pm

  12. bari wrote,

    OK, I teach middle school and besides the fact it’s wrong, disgusting and morally irreprehensible….what does a 37 year old woman see in a fourteen year old boy?? On a positive note, I am one year older than this woman. I saw her picture and thought she looked over fifty. I am feeling pretty good about myself! LOL

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 6:45 pm

  13. LX Robotnik wrote,

    I don’t know what you all are talking about…I’d hit that booty. She’s hott!

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 8:19 pm

  14. Laurie wrote,

    Aw, c’mon, look at those chubby little cheeks … no, sorry, that’s just gross.

    Comment on 3/4/2005 @ 8:37 pm

  15. Tammy wrote,

    Ewww ewww ewwww!!!! What the hell? Did she drug them first?!

    Comment on 3/5/2005 @ 4:53 pm

  16. anna wrote,

    Assuming ‘wrong’ is a quantitative concept, I think a 37 year old teacher boinking her 15 year old students is a whole lot more wrong than those same 15 year old boys boinking anything with legs and the appropriate hole.

    Comment on 3/5/2005 @ 11:11 pm

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