Archive for January, 2005

If you sprinkle when you tinkle…

Monday, January 31st, 2005

While out to eat for the husband’s birthday dinner, I had to go “potty.” (Note: I didn’t have to take a “leak.” I’m such a Mom.) Being the type of person who doesn’t wet herself at the dinner table, I get up to go to the bathroom.
I bypass the first stall, even though I normally […]

Dear Kirstie,

Monday, January 31st, 2005

Dear Kirstie Alley,
Hey! How’s it going? So you’re making a comeback. You’ve got this new show in the works called “Fat Actress” and Oprah had NATE decorate your kitchen, even though you could totally afford it and he should have redecorated MY HOUSE but whatever.
Personally, I never thought you were gone. You did those […]

Kitchen Aid

Monday, January 31st, 2005

Yesterday, our friend, The Major Airline Pilot Who Pooped In a Bathtub, arrived in our apartment and made an observation.”Wow, your kitchen is clean.”
You see, we have a problem with keeping the kitchen clean. And when I say “we,” please know that it means “I” as The Husband swears that the problem of the nasty […]

Happy birthday, sweetie!

Monday, January 31st, 2005

Today is the 26th birthday of my best friend, my husband and the father of my child!
You’ve already won me over, in spite of me. So don’t be alarmed that I fell head over feet.

October 2001
Don’t be surprised that I love you for all that you are. I couldn’t help it, it’s all your […]

I’m so vain, I probably think this blog is about me.

Sunday, January 30th, 2005

Last night, I eagerly sat down at my computer and pulled up the New York Times story about blogging parents.
A few paragraphs into the story, I started to feel a little down. By the end of the story, I felt downright depressed. I wondered why I felt that way from reading a stupid […]

Here in the real world, it’s not that easy at all….

Saturday, January 29th, 2005

Dear Grandma,
Hi! How are you? I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to call you for awhile, but I’ve been really busy. I recently moved in with six other “strangers” into this really cool house. It used to be an orphanage, but they kicked out all the orphans and put in a sweet hot tub […]

Welcome to your friendly neighborhood Woodlands super Walmart.

Saturday, January 29th, 2005

As I laid in the confines of my comfy king sized bed this morning, wearing my orange maternity tank top, with a baby grabbing handfuls of my hair, the husband and I discussed what we planned on doing that morning.
First a breakfast at a local French restaurant, where we could eat omlettes and sip […]

Isn’t she lovely?

Friday, January 28th, 2005

One Act Play, by Ellie and SJ.
Living room. Smallish apartment. One wall is painted red, television blaring out of armoire.
Ellie: I hate you. You smell like poop.
SJ: You go poop? Do I need to change your diaper?
Ellie: No!! You are stupid! Waah! You smell like poop and I hate you.
SJ: So no poop? Do you […]

Please forgive this post as I have become stupid.

Friday, January 28th, 2005

For some reason, I watch this kids’ tv show called Zoom every afternoon. Zoom comes on between Sit and Be Fit and Dr. Phil, meaning that I’m pretty desperate for background noise at this time.
There is one section of the show called Fannee Doolee. That is the most stupid name ever. Anyway, Fannee Doolee only […]

Call Me When You’re Mobile

Friday, January 28th, 2005

Yesterday, my child figured out how to prop herself up on her hands and knees and rock back and forth. For those of you who are not down with baby development lingo, it means SHE IS ABOUT TO CRAWL.
My sweet little girl is about to become a crawler and all Hell will break loose in […]

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