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Archive for April, 2004

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Friday, April 30th, 2004

I’ve never had much luck with neighbors. Seriously. As long as I can remember, we’ve had some doozies.

When I was little and growing up in Groves, Texas, we had one spectacularly weird neighbor. Her name was (using phonetics here) Dorsa-lene. Dorsalene lived in her pajamas. As in, never left them. Ever. Even when the […]

Overexposure alert!

Friday, April 30th, 2004

Okay, I’ve had enough, America. Seriously. Even though I’m not a big fan of Hollywood people, there are SOME that are seriously driving me nuts with their incredible overexposure.

1. Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. Um, hello? What in the sam hell have they done besides just be stupid? NOBODY CARES. Now Bobby Brown is giving […]

You my baby daddy

Friday, April 30th, 2004

You know, I’m starting to feel as if the people on these “You may or may not be my baby daddy because I’m/you’re a slut” talk shows know nothing about genetics.
“The baby has blonde hair and we both have brown hair.” Well, lady, have you ever thought that your child does not have to have […]

Naked Twister is Not Covered by the Geneva Convention.

Friday, April 30th, 2004

This is probably the STUPIDEST excuse I’ve ever heard of. When asked about why he mistreated and beat Iraqi prisioners, a US Reserve Officer said:
Yesterday Frederick said he would deny abuse, claiming he was not shown Geneva Convention rules on how to treat captives.
He said: “We had no support, no training whatsoever.
“I kept […]

I know how to keep that romance alive!

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

Things my husband doesn’t want to hear as he’s trying to fall asleep*
1. He needs a physical.
2. He needs a colonoscopy– just in case.
3. Has he been checking his nuts for testicular cancer?
4. Me asking him what he wants for lunch but isn’t going to get since he didn’t buy me that chocolate ice cream […]

Somethings wrong here…

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

In case you didn’t know, as I posted yesterday, I have now passed into my 30th week of pregnancy. That means that I’m winding this party down. Or, at least I’m about to. But it means another thing.
HOLY SHITAKE! I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A FREAKING BABY!

Huh? Okay, this just doesn’t seem possible for me to […]

feel da love

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

This guy seems to have a sense of humor. Any lady would be lucky to be his second wife. And have her wedding dress modeled on ebay.

The blue twinkies

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

I am sooooo going to the bookstore today to read this book–Belly Laughs.
Of course I’m not going to BUY it, I’m just going to READ it.

Call me crazy, but…

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

I have a secret suspicion that The Olsen Twins are also lesbians. They’re on Oprah right now. She’s calling them The American Dream. Yee haw.

I’m 30 weeks pregnant today!

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

My Mom is finally putting her foot down. It’s cute when she does that, especially since putting your foot down to me really doesn’t work unless you get mad. And that only works when you are my husband, who knows how to pretend he’s mad without being mad because “That’s the only way to get […]

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