I prefer Skittles to the MNM color code

Did you know that the bad guys are going to attack us??? Well, not you Canadians or other people who live in countries that aren’t very cool…but us Big Bad Ass Americans.

What I love about all the warnings we get is how much information they give us.

Al Qaeda might attack us. There is a good chance they might attack us. They may possibly attack during the summer, though they might wait until the winter. They might possibly do something bad during a holiday, such as July 4th or Christmas. But then again, they just might wait for some regular day and get you then. Or maybe the elections? Perhaps they wanna scare the shit out of us so we can vote for John Kerry? Damn, voting for John Kerry is scary enough. No need to use weapons here. They might use bombs, or planes, or vehicles, or people disguised as pregnant women who have biological weapons attached to their bodies. It may be in a city. Or at a suburban shopping mall. Or the Republican Convention. Or in Atlanta.

Well gee. We have ALL bases covered now, don’t we? See? So if and when something DOES happen, “they” can say “Look. We told you so! Didn’t we say that they would attack a city and use weapons and surprise us?!?!? Didn’t we?”

6 Responses to “I prefer Skittles to the MNM color code”

  1. witchy
    May 26th, 2004 06:59

    Oh my. I guess I must live in my basement, and never come out, because they’re going to attack us at any second now. now? no, maybe now….

    Geeze, I guess this is what’s called “CYA”
    and they have so many asses to cover.

    :( sorry I don’t know of a good lawyer, wish I did, because MAN you should sue their asses.
    *G* did you catch the change of topic? :)

  2. Kim
    May 26th, 2004 11:38

    Well, not you Canadians or other people who live in countries that aren’t very cool..

    Are you saying Canada isn’t cool?

    You haven’t been here, then.

    Though, we have been a bit wussy recently — our old Prime Minister was a moron, and our new one is a mama’s boy. He must like the taste of Dubya’s ass, because he sure kisses it a lot of late.

    Anyway, we’re cool. We are.

  3. The Sarcastic Journalist
    May 26th, 2004 11:44

    nah, Canada is cool– I’ve only been to Vancouver, but I was disappointed by the lack of Canadian mounties. And I bought Cuban cigars. But– in order to be REALLY cool, you gotta implement a color scare the shit out of you system. Get to it!! :)

  4. eletha
    May 26th, 2004 13:31

    i’d like to think that because Cancadian’s are so peace loving that one really needs to attack us that and most terrorists have family that live here.
    Doesn’t seem kinda funny that even in end of the world movie Canada is safe and unharmed. OH Canada, are alcohol is stronger are jokes are funnier and it’s damn cold in the winter!

  5. Maggie
    May 26th, 2004 18:18

    Yet another Canuck posting here…

    The part I love about the warning is that they say that there’s not a ’specific date or place’ in the information. Well, we know from the 9/11 hearings that without a specific time/place/date and a written invitation from attackers (with RSVP form included), Bush & Rummy don’t feel that they were supposed to do anything.

    (don’t get me wrong, I think it would be almost impossible to prevent things like what happened, but it was their “but they didn’t tell us when so it’s not our fault!” attitude that made me want to vomit)

  6. Stacy
    May 27th, 2004 01:58

    Heh … isn’t it wonderful how they try to scare the hell out of everybody by telling us stuff like that, but then turn around and say, “oh, but remain calm and go about your lives like you normally would, because if you don’t, the terrorists win.” HA HA HA HA!

    And I’m half-Canadian, moving there next year because I think Canada cool, too!

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