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Name change?

Gwyneth Paltrow has given birth. She named her daughter Apple.

I’m dead serious. I would have expected something a little more sophistacted from someone like her. I can see it now. Everyone is going to jump on the bandwagon, just like they did with names like “Ava” (hello, Reese Witherspoon) and are going to name their freaking children after fruit.

They’re hoping for a boy next year….to be named Tangerine.

My 3-year-old niece wants me to name our baby Peach. I guess she’s onto something.

11 Responses to “Name change?”

  1. David
    May 15th, 2004 14:45
    1

    She should have gone with Kumquat…..

  2. Norman
    May 15th, 2004 16:36
    2

    Makes the whole Costanza ‘Seven’ idea not so bad. I guess I should formally apologize to my parents for all of my anger about Norman - being named a fruit would have been worse.

  3. redsaid
    May 15th, 2004 16:39
    3

    That kid is going to hate her one day! Why is it that celebrities always feel that they have to pick horrific names, or do they honestly not see the stupidity of it? I mean, Dweezil (but okay, Papa Frank was clearly high as a kite for that one… and it was the 60s 70s hippy thing, so one can ALMOST forgive him)? I agree with you about expecting more from someone like Gwyneth. Maybe they’ll move into veggies for the next one. How about Tomato for a boy or Artichoke for another girl? Or “Whole Wheat” in honour of their Microbiotic diet… oy.

    All I can say is that your Ellie is a lucky one.

  4. Radmila
    May 15th, 2004 19:07
    4

    My husband and I were just talking about stupid names that people hang on their kids.
    A friend of my husbands just named his first born “Jerrious”.
    We made a vow to help the kid kick his fathers ass when he grows up.

  5. Allison
    May 15th, 2004 21:01
    5

    Ha! Maybe she saw that movie, What a Girl Wants with the characters named Pear and Peach and thought it was a grand idea. LOL

  6. misbah kyrene
    May 16th, 2004 00:59
    6

    Should’ve named her Bell Pepper. Is she a fruit? Is she a vegetable? Who knows but she’ll have serious identity issues the rest of her life. Good thing her mama’s Gwyneth Paltrow and can afford all the psychotherapy she’s gonna need…

  7. Mythilt
    May 17th, 2004 13:04
    7

    Not to mention the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow is probably gonna get sued by Steve Jobs *and* Ringo Starr / Paul McCartney most likely. Prior use and all.

  8. LibraryGryffon
    May 18th, 2004 10:40
    8

    For really bad baby names you can go to this site: http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/

    Warning: do not read most of these while eating or drinking.

    “Apple” is actually preferable to many of the names collected there.

  9. Stacey
    May 18th, 2004 16:03
    9

    I still can’t get over this.

    APPLE?!

  10. Melissa
    May 21st, 2004 11:50
    10

    I guess Gwyneth’s father called her Apple. They’ll call her Alison.

    9 pounds 11 ounces! (SHUDDER)

    Have you seen this?

    http://www.coldplay.com/nappies.html

  11. backgammon pieces
    April 4th, 2005 22:01
    11

    backgammon pieces
    Our main conclusions about the state are that a minimal state, limited to the narrow functions of protection against force, theft, fraud, enforcement of contracts, and so on, is justified; that any mo

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