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Forward this!

You know what? You gotta love my mother. That woman, well, she’s a email forward sending fool. Send her an email telling her she’s your best friend and must pass it on to 100 of her closest best friends? Oh, she’ll send it. She’ll send a copy of it to every single email address of yours that she has.

My sister in law sent her an email recently about a baby shower or something. My Mom put her on the forward list. I don’t get embarrassed really easily, but this embarrasses me. It’s like MOOOOOOMMMM don’t send forwards! My husband gets them too.

So anyway, I got a forward from her. It turns out I’m not supposed to buy gas on May 19. I guess no matter what. Doesn’t matter if I’m standed on the side of the road in labor and it’s pouring down raining and a pack of rabid dogs are biting at my feet and I really need the gas— I’m not supposed to buy it.

IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES DID NOT PURCHASE A DROP OF GASOLINE FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES.
AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OF OVER 4.6 BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES. THEREFORE MAY 19TH HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED ” D ” DAY AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF GASOLINE THAT DAY.

I’m not an expert on gasoline as my pregnancy and my daily Oprah and Ripleys Believe It or Not watching has turned my brain to mush, but I’m pretty sure OPEC has something to do with this. It’s not like Mr. Texaco is sitting there, figuring out how much he can jack up prices. Maybe he can to an extent, but otherwise, Mr. Texaco has to do what OPEC says.

Who cares if you don’t buy on that day? You’re going to have to buy gas eventually, which means you will either stock up BEFORE or AFTER May 19. So you’ll just be dealing with longer lines on the 20.

I can try and tell this woman to not send forwards. Hell, I’ve really tried. I’ve begged. I’ve sent her emails pointing to webpages that dismiss the fact that Coca-Cola really is harboring terrorists in their New Jersey plant.

As I’ve said before, the woman is smart. Really smart. She has so many degrees she could use them as toilet paper. But man, she can be really naive!

4 Responses to “Forward this!”

  1. Sarah
    May 14th, 2004 21:09
    1

    I know how you feel. My mom forwards stuff too. I just look up the “story” at snopes.com or truthorfiction.com or straightdope.com and very sweetly reply with something that proves her wrong. I don’t do it to be rude, but I think that if people are going to forward things and be very passionate about it, they should find out the facts first, and if they don’t, then you should correct them. My mom doesn’t mind when I correct her, because it’s not like she wrote the story, she just fell for it and forwarded it thinking she was doing a good thing.

    Anywho–have a great weekend!!!

  2. Stacy
    May 14th, 2004 21:18
    2

    I hate forwards … with a PASSION. I don’t even open them. I delete them upon sight. For a very long time, in the signiture of every outgoing e-mail, I even said something along the lines of, “If you even dare send me a forward, you’re wasting your time. I will delete it upon sight.” Eventually, people will get the message.

  3. Louise
    May 17th, 2004 18:57
    3

    My mom sent me that exact same forward.

    In French.

    Jesus Christ.

  4. backgammon pieces
    April 4th, 2005 22:00
    4

    backgammon pieces
    No morality can be founded on authority, even if the authority were divine. by instructions to play backgammon

  • Etc.



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