Travelling the world wide whatthehell?

Every time my husband and I go walking through the neighborhood, our conversation goes somewhat like this:

“Look at those horrible weeds!” “Those trees have nothing on ours. They’ve been here over a year. These trees are pathetic.” “I’ve never seen such a crappy yard. Who are these people they allow to buy houses?”

It’s sad to say but we have the nicest yard in the neighborhood. And, honestly, we didn’t try that hard.

There’s just something about entering the world of idiots and having to comment on them.

So tonight I went to this blog and she was writing about a whole new message board world out there. You see, being so full of baby, I forget that there are other types of women out there. Women who don’t worry about salami or if they’ve had too much caffeine.

She introduced me to the women on the Wedding Channel.

You see again, I wasn’t engaged for all of that long. Nine months to be exact. And the final three of those were used to plan the Best Wedding Ever. Don’t believe me? It’s in this summer’s Bridal Guide magazine. And I’m not shitting you.

The hubs and I knew each other for 2 years and 3 months when we got hitched. Met on V-Day 2000, engaged August 19, 2001 and married May 13, 2002. My October 2003, I was knocked up. Gee, we don’t waste time, do we?

So, anyway, there is this site on there called “Someday Brides.” Oh yes. Someday brides. These are women who feel that they Must Get Married or Life Will Never Be The Same. Some have someone in mind. Others will take anything with a weiner and a pulse.

This one girl is upset because her boyfriend hasn’t proposed. Never mind they are 22, he lives far away and is trying to save money to move closer. She has to have the perfect ring. She’s one of those who feel that some magical mystical ring will make her happy. She’s also a name dropper who went to Ivy League and is now in Law School. Yeah for her.

She cried when “her” wedding dress was sold. She wants to plan the wedding already. And, get this, she cries herself to sleep over this shit.

These people are so caught up in the names and formalities that she’s forgetting what is the final goal: A marriage. Not a wedding. Not a ring, not some fancy ass honeymoon. They’ll probably (if he ever gets the balls to propose) spends $25K on their wedding. And the wedding will probably suck. It’s hard to have a good wedding. People get so damn formal, so stuck on stupid stuff.

It’s about fun, people. F-U-N. It’s a wedding. It’s about love and good cake and getting to hang out with people you like and then going somewhere and doing it.

This is pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. If you’d like to see pictures of a “someday” bride you can go here. Seems as if someone hasn’t mastered the notion of not putting up the double chin shots of yourself on the net. And once you’re done with that, you can hang on over to The First Years of Marriage to watch the women gripe about their husbands excessive porn use and how much they hate their husbands.

Ahh, the joys of the internet. It allows you to go laugh at others and be happy to know you aren’t them.

7 Responses to “Travelling the world wide whatthehell?”

  1. Kim
    May 6th, 2004 10:01

    So, are there pictures in this Bridal Guide? I suspect yes. (No, duh, really?)

    You should buy a load of ‘em, and sell ‘em through your blog here. I’d buy one.

    (Plus, I want to have the best. wedding. ever. So, I’d love to hear your advice on how you did it… with only nine months to plan, at that.)

  2. Sarah
    May 6th, 2004 12:06

    I used to want the Best!Wedding!Ever!(tm). Now–well, now I want to just wear something nice, get hitchedm, and meet some friends at a bar afterwards. Basically, I want to elope. Spend $25,000 on a wedding? That’s fucking insane. Give me the cash and I’ll go on a kickass honeymoon.

  3. The Sarcastic Former Journalist
    May 6th, 2004 14:22

    why yes, there are going to be pictures. I’m supposed to get my copy sometime this month. I can’t wait to see!

  4. Stacy
    May 6th, 2004 16:15

    Wow, I just watched the movie “Mona Lisa Smile” for the first time last night and this post sounds TOTALLY like those girls.

    Makes me wanna puke.

  5. Christine
    May 7th, 2004 03:54

    I’m with everyone else - I want details on this wedding! I took 4 months to plan, and I moved during the middle of that. Now it’s at the end of this month and I still have a few things to wrap up, but checking out the boards at TheKnot.com have provided me with tons of amusement! Sounds like these are even better - when I need a break and need a reminder that I’m normal and these chicks are nuts, I’m going to the Wedding Channel from now on!

    Over at The Knot it’s the girls on the Etiquette boards that fight with each other. How ironic is that? It’s not good etiquette to call someone names for their wedding plans!

  6. propecia
    March 30th, 2005 12:44

    I have read your paper with great interest. I agree entirely with all the underlying assumptions. As soon as Russia rejected the Baruch proposals, I urged that all nations favouring international cont

  7. motif backgammon
    April 4th, 2005 21:58

    motif backgammon
    For him she is sex - absolute sex, no less. She is defined and differentiated with reference to man and not he with reference to her; she is the incidental, the inessential as opposed to the essential

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