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Giddy-up!

So The View (TV show) is in Dallas this week. As in Dallas, Texas. Let me tell you, I’m getting a little annoyed at how they keep portraying Texas. Cowboys, cowboy boots and cows. Oh, and excess! Excessivly furry outfits and who knows what else.

I’m not sure what Texas they are visiting but it is not my version. Here, in Houston, there are cows, BUT THEY ARE OUT IN THE COUNTRY. If you go out of town to visit another city, yes, you’ll see some cows. But you’ll also see malls and shopping centers and houses as well.

I NEVER see people wearing cowboy boots. I am 24 years old, almost 25, have lived in Texas for 22 of those years and have NEVER worn cowboy boots. I don’t wear a vest with fringe on it and I don’t go to the grocery store and lasso up some rawhide.

What if I walked around portraying all the sterotypes for the rest of you?

You live in New Jersey? You must be married to Tony Soprano. California? You hippie. Nebraska? You probably don’t eat anything but corn. North Carolina? You don’t have any teeth and all you do is smoke all day long. England? You’re in need of a nose job. Australia? You probably have a kangaroo as a pet. The middle east? YOU TERRORIST, YOU! Kill! Kill!

Now, if you don’t mind, I gotta go saddle up my horse and go play with the cactus (pronounced Cac-ty).

18 Responses to “Giddy-up!”

  1. Lauren
    October 26th, 2004 10:55
    1

    ahahahaa!! Being from Texas I know EXACTLY what you are talking about! It’s funny, living in Maine and idiots actually ask me if I rode a horse to school. *insert eye roll here*

  2. dazed
    October 26th, 2004 11:36
    2

    Oooh oh, I wanna play. I’m from Ohio, whaddya have to say about that? Even better, I’m from AKRON, OHIO…”rubber capital of the world”…you want some of this? I dont have any teeth and I just got done breastfeeding my brothers kids!!!

  3. Robotnik
    October 26th, 2004 12:56
    3

    True, and I agree with you–but they’re not called “stereotypes” for nothing.

    Bet for every person like you in Texas (or Joisey, or England, etc.), you can find another that fits the stereotype.

  4. Lila
    October 26th, 2004 13:07
    4

    I agree with Robotinik, theses stereotypical images originate somewhere…..here in England (surely we need our teeth fixed….not nosejobs except the royal family who are all inbred) the biggest stereotype of you Texans comes courtesy of George dubya Bush…so surely that is far worse than any of the other things you mention

  5. Robotnik
    October 26th, 2004 13:20
    5

    I ‘m with Lila…Bush is the worst thing that could’ve happened to Texas since the Alamo.

    Also see John Steinbeck’s “interesting” take on Texas in his “Travels with Charlie” book. It’s hilarious.

  6. Antonia
    October 26th, 2004 13:42
    6

    Yeah, it’s a pretty sad world after all. When I was moving to Texas from Holland I got the same exact question as Lauren- are you going to ride a horse to school? But when I got here everyone kept asking me if I used to live in a windmill. I used to date a black South-African, who would constanly get asked how he liked wearing clothes now. Let’s just face it and accept it. People are, on the whole, dumb as shit, and television caters to that. One solution for that. Kill the fucking thing.

  7. Robotnik
    October 26th, 2004 14:42
    7

    You were actually asked if you lived in a feckin’ windmill?
    Jaysus…we, Americans, are complete edjits.
    No wonder the world hates us.

  8. Caryn
    October 26th, 2004 18:09
    8

    I currently live in a suburb of Dallas, and I have not seen a cowboy boot, cow, or horse over here. But, we went a few miles to Fort Worth a few months ago, and it was like night and day. Cowboys everywhere.A totally different atmosphere. It was really strange.

  9. Stacey
    October 26th, 2004 19:20
    9

    You so ruined my idea of Texas. ;)

  10. D
    October 26th, 2004 19:25
    10

    Stereotypes abound concerning Texas and always will. However; keep in mind that had there been a back door at the Alamo, there would not be a Texas.

  11. Mary
    October 26th, 2004 20:39
    11

    I once had a lady ask, when she discovered I was from Oklahoma, if we had tee pees. I announced LOUDLY that we had running water in our houses also! I was 10 and I got a kick in the ass when we got off the plane.

  12. Tsarina
    October 26th, 2004 21:47
    12

    At least in Oklahoma we got tee-pees to live in and buffalo chips to burn to keep us warm in the winter!

  13. Kati
    October 26th, 2004 22:11
    13

    Americans aren’t the only ones that ask the stupid questions (although we top the list). When I was in Argentina somebody asked if we have eggs in the US. Yikes.
    And once, in the US, when I was in NY someone found out I was from Wisconsin, and asked, what do you do for fun there?
    I said, “we tip cows.” The worst part: They believed me.

  14. Very Mom
    October 26th, 2004 22:27
    14

    But do you at least sound a little southern? Because I can rid my mental image of you in your cowboy boots and chaps but I can’t get rid of your southern accent in my head. And that’s a good thing. You could be a Utah Mormon sharing your husband with fifteen other wives and wearing flowered skirts with your hair in bun.

  15. Robotnik
    October 27th, 2004 08:02
    15

    Kati, those aren’t really stupid questions. I get asked “What do you do for fun” all the time. And I’ve lived in Manhattan, Wash, DC, Miami, L.A. and San Fran.

    The eggs question is a bit bizarre…but sometimes in poor countries (have you checked out Argentina’s economy lately??) people wonder if we have all the luxurious necessities–and sometimes live vicariously through us. My Grandma (who still lives in Romania in a village) constantly asks if we ever run out of meat, or if we have salted butter.

  16. Antonia
    October 27th, 2004 11:06
    16

    Yeah. My granmother’s too old to travel now, bun when she could still manage it she’d bring corned beef, bacon, sausages, black and white pudding (Irish breakfast meats made from dried blood, basically) , and huge chunks of beef in her suitcase on the plane. Just in case we needed it.

  17. Kati
    October 27th, 2004 23:26
    17

    Yeah, it was bizarre, and I do know what the economy is like, I lived there for a year. I was just saying………

  18. beth
    October 28th, 2004 02:22
    18

    lmao ahh i know wat ya mean everythime i would tell someone i was from wisconsin theyd say did all you eat was cheese?? or drink milk? im like hello? umm ok.. lol yea i lived on cheese and milk and we ate cow pies.. pfft

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