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We paid $50, we will have a good time!

So we went out to intermingle with the General Public, also known as the people who go to Six Flags, this weekend. And when I say “general public” please know that I mean a cross between thugs, hicks, people who definately need to put some more clothes on and families.

All in one place!

There’s just so much that happens when one goes out into the world and gets to interact with people they normally don’t see so I’ll try and remember everything worth remembering.

When did “thugs” start wearing pink? I saw a many members of the homey tribe wearing pink shirts and hats, as if they were part of some Gay Gang or something. Perhaps these are the “homo thugs” I heard about on television? If they are a member of a Gay Gang, I don’t think I’d be very scared if they were committing a drive-by because you can’t take men in pink seriously.

We saw signs for a Dannon Yogurt all over the park. It was an ad with a hip-hop kitty and he’s all thugged out wanting me to enjoy some yummy yogurt. Not just any yogurt, but DRINKABLE yogurt. What a great place to advertise! What would I want more while standing in a LONG LINE surrounded by ugly people with bad b.o than to drink a nice warm yogurt? Even better, I think I’d like to get said yogurt and pour it all over my head and rub it onto my body.

I found a new way to pass the time: Mentally critique people’s appearances while in line. The “Extreme Makeover” crew would have a field day.

When did I get old? I remember, back in the day, that when we went to Astroworld, the rides had fun names like “Do it again!” and “More! More!” and “Woo-hoo! That was fun!”. Now the rids are more on the lines of “Ear Smasher” and “Ear Smasher Part Two” and “Neck Breaker” and “Put Ya In A Body Cast From All The Jerking and Jolting.” I spent the majority of my time in the actual rides trying to figure out how to feel comfortable without my ears getting smashed into the headrest or having my neck feel as if it would break from leaning forward. My ears still hurt today.

If you were one of the 10 people at Six Flags in Houston on Saturday, you might have saw me. I was that chick in the drenched yellow shirt who was constantly pulling her wet underwear out of her cooter. And to the girl who gave me the look while I was standing in line: I didn’t actually TOUCH my crotch. I pulled from a totally respectable place before I scratched the tip of my nose. Besides, I can promise you, my hoo hoo is a lot cleaner than any of the handrails in that park.

I think there should be a new rule that if you have a broken leg and are in a WHEELCHAIR, then perhaps you should not go to an amusement park and ride all the rides. I mean, your LEG IS BROKEN. Perhaps you should let it heal. And besides, if you keep bringing your wayyy too skimpy tank top self to all the lines I’M IN and then JUMPING IN FRONT OF ME BECAUSE YOU CAN, well I’m gonna break your other leg.

If you are going outside and it looks like it might rain, I suggest not putting an excessive amount of hair gel in your hair. As nice as it may look, I didn’t enjoy the 30 minutes standing behind the guy who looked like he had styled his hair with Baby Batter.

Brown eyes and blue contacts: JUST DON’T DO IT.

It was nice and fun and The Hubs and I enjoyed our non-baby time together. We ate funnel cake in the rain and rode on rides and went “Wheee! More! More!” and “Uggg, I feel sick.” We definately need to get out more because, seriously, the General Public can provide more blog fodder than the internet ever could.

3 Responses to “We paid $50, we will have a good time!”

  1. Antonia
    October 24th, 2004 15:18
    1

    If you think the Astro World crowd provides food for thought, try sitting on the bench by the cash registers in Wal Mart, Galveston. I actually remember thinking “I wonder if that guy is just strung out on the bad end of an acid trip and usually his skin color matches his facial hair,” and similar such things.

  2. Robotnik
    October 25th, 2004 08:07
    2

    Hey…nice! BAby-free time; what’s that? Beware the gang member dressed in pink–but wielding an Uzi. Just remember, DUCK.

    I commend you; I haven’t gone to a “Six Flags” type place since I was a senior in high school in 1987. From what you describe…NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

  3. rules for backgammon
    April 4th, 2005 17:06
    3

    rules for backgammon
    Man is by his constitution a religious animal; atheism is against not only our reason, but our instincts. by backgammon software

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