My doofy baby.

When I’m constipated, I tend to grab my belly and go “woaahhhh! I need to poo!” When my child may be constipated, she pulls her legs in the air, turns red and grunts.

So we look up baby constipation on the internet. It makes me wonder what type of people are allowed to be parents.

We do NOT recommend:
putting other things in the baby’s rectum, like soap or pencils

Nothing makes your baby want to crap like a pencil in ye old anus.

This reminds me of back in the early year of our marriage and the hubs and I were both having poo problems. So we bought me some “pink pills” which are laxatives. I took pink pills at night and by morning, I had to go number two.

So we’re getting ready to fly from Raleigh/Durham to Tulsa via Chicago. The hubs is needing to potty but can’t. So I tell him to take some pink pills. Figuring he’s a big guy (he’s 6′4) I tell him to take more than one.

Big mistake. Big, big mistake.

We get to Chicago and he’s all “I gotta go. I gotta go NOW.” So we are running around the airport and finally I stop on a corner (ironically, a corner I’d end up on a year later when we missed a connection) and he goes to poo.

It turns out it is the kind of poo you don’t take in public. It is a toilet grabbing, leg pulling, screaming, yelping, Dear God, Take Me Out Of My Misery Now poo. In a crowded bathroom. In Chicago.

And then, my friends, a new word was born. The name of the poo?

The Doofy.

7 Responses to “My doofy baby.”

  1. Sarcomical
    October 13th, 2004 23:33

    wow. poop issues running in this family for sure. the babe has no chance! ;)

    also, cute word for what i’m sure is quite an unpleasant experience!

  2. Robotnik
    October 14th, 2004 07:02


  3. martha
    October 14th, 2004 07:39

    In some countries they stick a soft twig with mustard seed oil up the baby’s butt to make them poop. Mustard seed oil!!! yeah, I couldn’t believe it either and was too shocked to say anything.

  4. Em
    October 14th, 2004 08:51

    For Ellie - 1 tablespoon of Karo (corn) syrup in water.

    For the people of Chicago who may have been offended by a doofy (or THE doofy?), my sympathies. My husband would do that - go to another city to take a giant dump. But he would never go back to Chicago again, sure someone would recognize him.

  5. Arianne
    October 14th, 2004 10:40

    I hate going to the bathroom in public places with a PASSION. Poor guy.

    It seems like we are more likely to make a Doofy right after giving birth since, no matter the “size”, everything hurts like a mofo. Not that I could currently relate or anything…

  6. Rbelle
    October 14th, 2004 20:42

    Oh man! For babybelle we tried the Karo syrup with no luck, the glycerin suppositories work, but when we switched formula that did the trick. If you are BFing is it too early to give her an ounce of prune juice with water? That works too!

  7. backgammon & chess travel games
    April 4th, 2005 14:02

    backgammon & chess travel games
    I think that I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics. by backgammon games

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