10/11/2004

Insomnia is a bitch.

Filed under: — shenuts @ 12:42 am

Since it is half past midnight and even though I’m trying, I don’t see sleep in my near future, I’ll share with you an observation I’ve recently made.

It seems as if some of you readers may be embarrassed about reading my site.

I’ve seen many, many search engine queries such as “Sarcastic Journalist” or even my domain name. I KNOW what you’re doing as I do that when I go to someone’s house and I want to check my site without them reading it. And since I don’t want to go into the History on their Internet Explorer and find sites about doing bad things with donkeys and pigmies, well, I just google my domain name.

Now, why in the Hell would you be embarrassed about my little old site? Is it the talk of my boobies? Or the talk of MILK SHOOTING OUT OF MY BOOBIES?!?!?!

How about the talk of what happens after you have a baby? YOUR COOTER GETS BIG AND SWOLLEN AND PURPLE! BIG GAPING HOLE! Can you possibly not explain to your boss or friendly IT person what SheNuts are? Hello, it is NATURE! Floppy cooters are so NATURAL.

Or my less than beautiful language? SHIT. FUCK. DICK. COOTER.

How about my total disregard to everyone else in the world, making uptight dickwads think I’m a racist? Or a Republican? Or a hick? Texan? Breeder? Lover of sodomy?

It is okay. I know where you work. I see the domain names. The government. National charity organizations. Colleges. Public relations places. News media.

You can go about your daily lives, sipping lattes and chatting about Desperate Housewives over the water cooler. Go do your “business lunch” and make sure you file your TPS Reports. But there I’ll be, your secret little friend, The Sarcastic Journalist, in the back of your mind, much like that Playboy/Playgirl you may or may not have had hidden under your mattress.

9 Comments »

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  1. HAHAHAHAH. Aye me SJ, you are one kooky little conservative. Psychotic retard you may be, I love your writing.

    Translation: SJ. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I think you are so pretty and nice and funny and when I grow up, I want to be just like YOU.

    Comment by Carrie — 10/11/2004 @ 2:31 am

  2. Nah, it’s not any of those.

    Comment by Robotnik — 10/11/2004 @ 6:35 am

  3. Why, Carrie, why? You know what I think I’ve figured out about Carrie. She’s into S&M. She gets off on making the shitty comments and then loves the mean comments back. Carrie, you are certifiably crazy. Bet your panties are wet now, huh? FREAK.

    Comment by dawn — 10/11/2004 @ 8:54 am

  4. Hey, I’m starting to dig Carrie.
    A little S& M is good for the soul.

    Comment by Robotnik — 10/11/2004 @ 8:59 am

  5. She “loves my writing.” Woo hoo, I can have a good day now. Robotnik– here’s a tip– don’t defend her.

    Comment by Sarcastic journalist — 10/11/2004 @ 10:11 am

  6. No? I like freaks and edjits…more fodder for the blog. I’ll listen to your advice, though.

    Comment by Robotnik — 10/11/2004 @ 12:22 pm

  7. I check the site at school and it hadn’t even occured to me to do anything other than just type in the name… wow, good thing I’m still in school, huh?

    Comment by martha — 10/11/2004 @ 1:17 pm

  8. I really don’t care if people at my workplace see me reading your site. There are people looking at a whole lot worse on the internet over at their desks. At least I still get my work done.
    I don’t know why people would be ashamed of looking at your site. If they have to hide it, why look at it?
    And by the way, who the hell is this Carrie freak?

    Comment by Ali — 10/12/2004 @ 9:02 am

  9. I was hoping Carrie would start a blog.

    Comment by Texas T-bone — 10/12/2004 @ 10:43 am

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