It is funny that I was getting on here to write about the “fear” of the “unknown” when it comes to this hurricane business, about how alone and “out of sorts” I feel, how I would get 4 “thinking of you” emails. We haven’t had “regular” TV shows in awhile here; it has been all doom and gloom. The news constantly reminds us of how, in the entire Houston area (the 4th largest city, I remind you) as of 7pm, there were 5 places that had some form of gas left.

In the midst of the constant TV news updates and trying to prepare for who knows what while still keeping some semblance of a life together, it is hard not to feel down. I am not scared for me, but I am scared for my family, although I hardly talk about them on here, they all live in a town called “Beaumont” (and the surrounding areas) on the TX/LA border. It is on the coast and it looks like they are getting the direct hit.

I almost feel like they’ve been preparing us for the worst and now it isn’t happening. I guess I’m still in fight or flight and I’m not sure how to feel. (Well, obviously, I will be happy if we dont get “a direct hit,” though I’d rather it be us then my family.)

Here is today’s odd thought: My grandpa and sister are both buried in a town called Port Arthur. You can go to CNN and see the “flood projections” for the town. Thinking of seeing the floating caskets in Mississippi worries me. I don’t know if I could deal with that happening to them.

During all of this, I have felt such kindness from strangers. People offering up houses and hotel rooms to us. Emails with phone numbers and prayers. I have been in awe of the sympathy of strangers.

At the same time, I sometimes feel that the people that I think should care just a little more, don’t. I feel some people have blown me off. I was hurt today by someone grumping at me on the phone when I asked a simple question. At the same time, my MIL, a saint, bought us a plane ticket, which we had to cancel. She was so nice and giving to do that for me.

So while I’m trying to keep myself occupied (baking cookies, watching Sex and the City) I’m trying to keep my mind off the “what ifs.” I try to think that these aren’t personal snubs; that maybe they have things to worry about of their own.

But I guess, I guess when it is a constant barrage of information (mostly bad) you want to feel like you’re not alone.

24 Responses to “Alone”

  1. kim
    September 22nd, 2005 21:42

    We’re thinking about you Miss SJ :)

  2. robyn
    September 22nd, 2005 21:45

    We’re thinking of you, too! If you need ANYTHING — another coast to go to when the dust water settles, another shoulder to cry on, someone who appreciates talking about =w=eezer and anything but hurricanes when they’re all you hear about on the news in the Gulf — well you know where to find me. Best wishes! I’ll be checking on you just as long as you have power…

  3. Sarah
    September 22nd, 2005 21:45

    I was actually thinking about you guys today at work when we were watching the coverage. I can’t imagine what that must be like since I’ve never lived somewhere prone to things like hurricanes, but you are absolutely right in doing what is best for you.

    I think it would be worse if you had decided to leave, got stuck on the freeway and had the storm hit while you were sitting in your car.

    I’ll keep thinking good thoughts for you guys. Keep your spirits up too, for every one person that “snubs” you, there are 20 that are here for you!

  4. cindy
    September 22nd, 2005 21:56

    you are in my prayers.

  5. suburban misfit
    September 22nd, 2005 22:08

    I only ever come here sporadically (not due to lack of interest, certainly!), and I don’t think I’ve ever commented, but I hope everything turns out for the best, and well, I’ll be thinking of you and your family in the next few days.

    Good luck.

  6. Jack's Raging Mommy
    September 22nd, 2005 22:12

    I am not religious. That said,
    God be with you.

  7. Hope
    September 22nd, 2005 22:23

    Thoughts and prayers with you and the family. Went through an ice storm last year…..8 months pregnant. No electricity. Made it through. You will too. Just please be careful and fill every container you can find with water. 6 weeks with no electricity with Hurricane Hugo taught us quick-like here.

    I, too, will keep checking in on you. Please update when you can.

  8. jenB
    September 22nd, 2005 22:29

    i was wishing today that i had your phone number so i could call you, even if to just keep you company so to speak. if you want to, email it to me. i have unlimited long distance in north america, so its no worry. i have been thinking of you all day.


  9. Chloe
    September 22nd, 2005 22:51

    at least you are all staying together. It is completely unreal, all of these hurricanes. My thoughts with you and with the family that gave us SJ.

  10. Kathryn
    September 22nd, 2005 23:19

    SJ, you are going to be just fine. I’m sure I had a dream about it. Hang in there girl, lots of people are sending you good wishes. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and keeping you and your family in my prayers.

  11. coolbeans
    September 22nd, 2005 23:28

    You and your family are in our prayers. We were watching news coverage this evening and I talked about you, said I hoped you were able to get where you needed to go. I’m sorry you’re not currently vacationing in lovely North Dakota, but you’re right. You’ll be fine. You’ll ride these well wishes and prayers like a giant surfboard right up and over Mother Nature’s latest tantrum.

  12. nine
    September 22nd, 2005 23:35

    i was thinking about you guys while i was at work too. as i kept sneaking online to check where the hell Rita was going and hoping that you and your family would be ok. i’ll keep checking in, so please keep updating when you can.

  13. Jessica
    September 23rd, 2005 02:25

    Hugs to you and yours…and a lot of prayers for everyone. That’s saying a lot because I’m not really super religious.

  14. Melissa
    September 23rd, 2005 04:08

    you are in our prayers.

  15. Susie
    September 23rd, 2005 07:11

    My thoughts have been with you and my Houston friends. So tired of bad news and destruction. My prayers for you and your family!!! Now break out the Canasta and candles! It’s gonna be a long weekend!

  16. Priscilla
    September 23rd, 2005 07:45

    I can understand why you didn’t leave. I wouldn’t want to sit in traffic for hours just to run out of gas and have nowhere to go. I am just praying for you all and hoping that things turn out okay.

  17. cristin
    September 23rd, 2005 07:53

    hang in there. Try not to think too much, and know that there are people, literally, around the country thinking of you.

  18. david
    September 23rd, 2005 08:11

    Peace, like a river. may it bless your soul.
    we all watch and wait now, and commit to help afterward.

  19. Kristin
    September 23rd, 2005 08:16

    You and your family are in my prayers, will be checking back here, so keep us posted while you can.

  20. Laura GF
    September 23rd, 2005 08:39

    I’ve been checking over here all the time to see if there are any updates on your situation and passing them along to my husband. We both love you and you are in our thoughts during this time of difficult choices and preparations. You are facing the unknown bravely and trying to make wise decisions — I’ll be checking in all day to see how you are holding up and to see if there is anything I can do, and I know there are many others like me doing the same.

  21. Busy Mom
    September 23rd, 2005 09:53

    Please know I’m thinking of and praying for you and your family. Let us know what’s going on when you can.

  22. Angela
    September 23rd, 2005 10:19

    Oh hon… I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down :( I have to tell you though, I’m so glad you decided not to leave after seeing those pictures. I’d be so scared that you’d be stuck on the roads without any gas when the storm hits. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family, and please try to keep us updated as much as possible so I’m not worrying about ya!

  23. LadyBug
    September 23rd, 2005 11:08

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and the others in your area, as well.

  24. sherry
    September 23rd, 2005 11:24

    I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you guys.

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