Say It Ain’t So

I used to be one of “those kids.” When I was 14, I had a penchant for acting a fool in public, doing stupid things such as seeing a movie multiple times only to announce important plot points (loudly) for everyone to hear before they happened.

I really outgrew that point of my immaturity by the time I learned to drive, instead opting to decorate people’s trees with tampons along with a friend. I also spent a good amount of my time harrassing people in fast food drive-thrus.

One of my high school friends called a few months ago and told me about a video she watched with a mutal friend. It was the summer after my senior year of high school and we were in a Taco Bell drive-thru. It was about midnight and I pulled to the window and ordered five waters. The guy handed them to me, I leaned out, shouted “Thanks for the freakin’ water!” laughed, and drove off.

This past weekend, The Hubs and I left Miss E with some relatives while we went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose. We got there early, bought some popcorn and candy and waited for the movie to begin. Not long after the lights dimmed, large groups of about 15 or so people started entering the theater. Not just one group, but multiple groups and they were all on their cell phones.

It was weird: These kids were so damn loud (yes, they were teens) and annoying. I would bet that half of the movie had people screaming to “shut up!” and stuff. I would have probably yelled something myself but we were at the Ghetto Theater and man, I didn’t need to get myself shot.

At one point, the police came in and hauled a few kids off. I secretly cheered.

So, tonight, in our efforts to continue the facade of “Yes, we really have lives outside of the Diaper Genie” we went to a concert. Maybe you’ve heard of them, they’re a quaint little band called Weezer.

Looking around, I began to feel O.L.D. Number one: Some of these kids were about four when Weezer came out. Number two: I went to my first concert at this place 11 years ago, when I was 14. Number three: The outfits.

Dude, the outfits. Since it is late and I’m not in the mood to save pictures and upload, I’m just going to give you a couple of links to things that I do not find appropriate for wearing to a concert at a pavilion.

Please do not wear this. You look like a slut. These shoes are not good for hanging out on the grass. Also, anything where I can see the rolls on your stomach is not good, especially if you’re 14.

Needless to say, I was dressed for comfort. As in sloppy pregnancy comfort. The What Not To Wear people would have had a field day comfort. The deal is, you can’t feel cool if you’re at a concert while pregnant. Seriously, it just doesn’t happen.

Halfway through the Foo Fighters, who, in my old age, I deemed to look like a Satanic Band, I went off to look for a shirt for Robyn. Only problem? Well, my sciatic nerves were acting up. Note I said nerves. On the left side, my butt hurt. On the right, It went all the way from my hip bone area down to my ankle.

So here I am, trying to walk down a hill in the dark, hobbling because of my freaking nerves. Add in my pregnant belly, my “uncool” clothing and the fact that I had already discussed tomorrow’s Bible Study during intermission, and I felt ready to check into the old folks home.

It could be worse, I guess. I could have gone straight home to write about it on my blog.

Oh. Nevermind.

29 Responses to “Say It Ain’t So”

  1. momcast
    September 14th, 2005 00:18

    My car door handles got ketchuped yesterday while we were grocery shopping. I told MrP that I would give him a BJ for every teen he ran over on the way home. Apparently, my BJs aren’t all that enticing as there were no teens even driven towards.

    Damned kids!

  2. paige
    September 14th, 2005 05:36

    Did Weezer at least rock out? I haven’t been to a concert, show, whatever the kids call them these days, in forever because it’s so loud. The last one I went to involved me, my earplugs, and a lot of, “DON’T YOU THINK IT’S REALLY LOUD IN HERE??”s to my friends.

  3. Heatheranne
    September 14th, 2005 05:50

    At least it was young kids dressed like that. Seriously. I went to a Madonna concert a year ago and it was full of 40 year old women dressed up like Madonna USED to dress in the 80’s. It was sick.

  4. Susan
    September 14th, 2005 05:55

    Wow. That dress. Just . . . wow.

  5. AMP
    September 14th, 2005 06:09

    I hope Weezer opened for the Foo Fighters, not the other way around.
    YOU feel old?? Are you insane? You’re 25 feckin’ years of age.
    Don’t sweat the outfits, yo. Our girls will surely wear something more outrageous when they’re teens. And if you don’t let them, they’ll rebel and start gang-banging guys at “chaperoned parties.” Clothes are clothes are clothes. You can’t fight that shite. You can only hope to raise them to not want to wear them. But if they do? It’ll pass.

    You’re getting Karma thrown at you with that movie theatre thing. As a teen I was extremely shy and introverted and most kids my age got on my nerves. I have yet to encounter (at age 36) a gang o’ teens like you described. Thank God.

  6. robyn
    September 14th, 2005 07:06

    Man, now I feel like ca-ca having the pregnant lady hobble around on a =w= quest for me. Have I told you lately that I love you?!?

  7. Jessie
    September 14th, 2005 07:56

    I am SO JEALOUS that you got to go to that concert. Tickets up here are already sold out. :( Hope you had a great time outside of the nerve pain.

    Oh, and if you want to feel cool no matter what you’re wearing, go to a Bryan Adams/Def Leppard concert. You’ll be cooler than 90% of the people there without even trying. I know from experience.

  8. Sarah
    September 14th, 2005 08:11

    But seriously, what did you think of Emily Rose SJ??!!

  9. Jen the Mom
    September 14th, 2005 08:23

    I felt the same way when a girlfriend and I went to see Aerosmith. It was an amazing concert complete with Steve hanging from a trapeze and dangling over the audience. It wasn’t quite as bad, I’m sure, since Aerosmith have been around for so long but I couldn’t believe some of the teenagers who were so vocal about being die hard fans. Dude, you weren’t even born when they started!
    I found it just plain stupid.

  10. JustLinda
    September 14th, 2005 08:27

    Next thing you know, you’ll turn into the crabby old lady who pops the kids kickballs when they accidentally come into your yard. hahahahah

    And come on… don’t we ALL have shoes like that? No? Gosh, then, I feel so alone… ;)

  11. Priscilla
    September 14th, 2005 09:53

    I work with high school girls who remind me all the time that I am ten years older than them! When they talk about high school and all the drama that goes along with that, I am happy that I am ten years older!
    How was the movie? I want to see it.

  12. MoxieMomma
    September 14th, 2005 11:35

    i’m so glad you mentioned the ROLLS! why, oh WHY do they want to show the rolls? i’m certain that even if that had been the style when i was 14 (which was, hello, TWENTY-FeCKING THREE YEARS AGO!) i would not have worn shirts and pants that might show any rolls!

    and, um, the above PROVES you’re not old. in fact, i am. i think of my 20s quite wistfully now. although i do feel smarter now, which is, quite possibly, the only bonus to being so elderly ;-)

  13. Torrie
    September 14th, 2005 11:39

    I feel your pain.
    I went to a Cold Play concert and I felt ancient.
    I’m 29.

  14. Linda
    September 14th, 2005 11:43

    Maybe we’re doing it all wrong.

    A few years back, I went to an Inglebert Humperdink concert with my Grandma. Man, I felt YOUNG YOUNG YOUNG.

    What a night! hahahah

  15. Curly Girrrl
    September 14th, 2005 12:21

    you left out the part about us putting underwear on our heads so that we could be known as “the underwear bandits” when we decorated the trees with tampons. and didnt we hang condoms from the trees too? maybe that was another time…

  16. halloweenlover
    September 14th, 2005 12:42

    I want to hear about the movie too!

    Josh has a college age cousin and sometimes I realize how very far removed I am from that scene. It is a little bit scary. I swear I didn’t say as many stupid things as kids today do, I hope.

  17. MamaQ
    September 14th, 2005 14:25

    I had the same experience going to see the Pixies last year. The place was lousy with hipster 14-year-old boys with Kurt Cobain hairdos.

  18. poobou
    September 14th, 2005 15:10

    Same thing happened to me when I saw Tori Amos last week. I was looking around at all these kids thinking, “How old were you when her first album came out? Six?” To make it worse: it was an outdoor concert at a winery, so everyone (except me) was drunkity-drunk. ANNOYING.

    You know the comedian Janeane Garofalo? She said she knew she was old when she had to leave a Weezer concert halfway through because it was too loud.

  19. Lucinda
    September 14th, 2005 15:15

    Dude, I have two teenage stepdaughters so imagine how weird they think it is that we liked some of the same bands in our teens. Weezer, U2, Greenday (okay, so I don’t really like Greenday, but hey! They’re big again!), No Doubt, etc… It totally freaks them out because I’m like, the adult!

  20. Katie
    September 14th, 2005 15:32

    I am so jealous…WEEZER! Haha…I tried to get tickets to this tour but they sold out before I could :(

    Don’t feel bad…I’m 21 and I feel old next to all the trampy little hoochie mamas out there today. So it’s ok. :)

  21. MollieBee
    September 14th, 2005 15:35

    I went to Dave Matthews Band this sunday, it was awesome. The crowd is older for the most part, and not as slutty. Dave kicks ass. Did you hear, Shitney had her baby boy today?

  22. mmc
    September 14th, 2005 15:45

    My hubs and Friend (who has gone a bit premat. gray) went to the Snoop Dog Up In Smoke tour a few years back. They were the oldest people there by far, but are only in their early 30’s. When it was over, as they were leaving, there was group of teenage girls (prob. wearing similar outfits to your examples!) that were completely drunk. As they were walking through the parking lot the one on the end started listing and was about to fall when Friend grabbed her by the shoulders and righted her. Her drunk friend walking beside her - who had been paying zero attn to the fact that she was about to slam into the asphalt - SCREAMS at him “LET GO OF HER!!! Oh, my god, you’re like FORTY!” It scarred Friend forever, and ruined his otherwise fun night. It was the night hubs and Friend both realized they had become OLD…at least in the eyes of the kids.

  23. Amy Steier
    September 14th, 2005 16:31

    Cell phones should be banned from theaters.

  24. Sarcastic Journalist
    September 14th, 2005 17:11

    #1: The movie was good. We both liked it.
    #2: Weezer kicked FooFighter butt.
    #3: Seen Dave Matthews in concert as well, actually had seats up close, was good. The Hubs was not impressed.

  25. clickmom
    September 14th, 2005 17:58

    Y’know, SJ it happens that you get to a point, just past 35 where you feel like you finally do know all the answers (and aren’t just thinking you know all the answers like you have been doing since the day puberty it) and then you will begin to embrace your age, and relish the fact that you will never be young and stupid again.

    I am 40.

  26. Jack's Raging Mommy
    September 14th, 2005 19:21

    Look lady at least you got out. Sheesh. Do you know how freakin’ jealous I am??? I’d even trade the pregnant body part (Cause you are still skinnier than I).
    I’m gonna get drunk. Take that pregnant lady!

  27. The Merry Widow
    September 14th, 2005 21:02

    I met Weezer once. I had back stage passes at a Weezer/No Doubt show at Red Rocks in Colorado. The lead singer is shorter than I am and he walked up to me, asked me if I had a boyfriend, and then blew me off after I said yes.

    But the show still rocked.

  28. Beth
    September 14th, 2005 22:17

    Oh where were you when I was in high school? Wait, don’t answer that. The better question is, “Why can’t we be the same age and have grown up in the same place?” I was so into hanging tampons in the trees and sticking maxi-pads onto street signs. And you know, I have another question for you. Do you know what it is?

  29. Rayne of Terror
    September 15th, 2005 10:51

    My hubs refused to attend any more Phish shows after he turned 30 because he felt too old to be eatin mushrooms with the kids. Luckily his turning 30 coincided w/ Phish’s calling off due to, being too old!!! Whenever I felt too old I’d remember the coolest guy we ever met on tour who must have been 60 at Red Rocks in 1996. He had toured with Phish since Jarry Garcia died and I was 19, we had a blast.

    I don’t think I went to any major shows pregnant, but I was in law school. In that rarified world of 22 and 23 year olds, a 27 year old pregnant married lady was quite a sight.

  • Etc.

    • www.flickr.com