Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude

There are days, sometimes they come more often than not, where you think “I want to get away from this.” Days where even what you eat for breakfast (oatmeal vs quick bowl of cereal) is dictated by the screams of a little one.

Days where you look at that little one and say “Is it naptime yet? I’d like to take a shower and eat lunch.”

People who work outside of the home may think their days are monotnous, but there are changes. They have a change in location on the weekends, they come home every day after work. When you stay at home, your location never changes, except for the “fun” days when you go to the grocery store to pick up some frozen chicken.

You wish for a surprise. You wish for something to happen that will overrun the monotny. That surprise never comes. You realize you watch the “makeover” shows religously because those people are experiencing change. The only change you have now is the fact that your old maternity underwear are already fitting snugly.

You know what “they” will say: Get a job. You know these people just don’t get it. Number one: Is working at Starbucks for $6 an hour really worth it? You’ve been discussing this with your therapist; just “getting a job” isn’t that easy for you. You have fears, you have worries, you have some tiny shread of “dignity” that you’ve made up in your head.

The “committee meeting” is going strong in your head. It points out every bad thing you’ve said to people, points out how much of an evil bio-tch you’ve become. Don’t use hormones as an excuse. You are a waste of space. If only you could be like the “others,” the other “people” that get “jobs” doing the same thing you like to do. The people that contribute to the family. The people that don’t just get a job at The GAP to contribute $100/month.

You’re embarrassed that people come to your site just to read this self-abusing crap.

The feeling will go away, you know that. It always does. You’ll go and tackle that laundry that never seems to get done, make another lunch out of a box. How about doing some dishes? Nothing says “I’m not depressed and or homonal” quite like the loud hum of the dishwasher.

Be happy, little grasshopper. There are people that don’t have dishwashers. They live in huts. Luckily for you, they probably don’t have access to the internet, so they don’t get to see the pity party in action.

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