More fun than a box of tacos.

For those of you who don’t know (oh wait, that’s all of you.) I did away with my birth control.

**Note– extremely “girly personal” info here. If you don’t like cooters, please look away.

Yes, I’m not on anything. To date, I’ve tried The Pill (every kind possible), the ring (ick) and the IUD (remember my SURGERY??) and none of them worked. It seems as if my body is more tempermental than I originally thought.

So finally, after taking the pill YET AGAIN and almost driving my husband insane (it turned me into a psycho biznitch) I decided to go off the pill. I started taking my temperature every day to determine ovulation and we also use jimmy caps, but not exactly the “perfect” way.

Yes, we’re tempting fate. I know, I know. But NOW, my friend here (who is pregnant) is making bets with my husband over whether or not I’m going to get knocked up. She says its determined to happen. He says “no way.” I say “do we have to make bets on my cooter?”

I love kids—okay, babies and toddlers. I’m actually very good with children, though you may not get that from here. I’ve been raised around babies ahd kiddos and diapers. My husband has not. He has no baby experience.

So, I don’t know. I like babies. I think maternity clothes are cute. But, at the same time, I dont want the “girls” to head south. I don’t want to give up my freedom and be poor. If I had a kid, I wouldn’t want to work at the paper. (Okay, I never want to work at the paper– but that’s a different story.)

geesh. So I guess we’ll call this God’s birth control plan. We’re still on our first month of the no birth control plan. Haven’t found out if we were “successful” in avoiding yet. I have maybe a week or so for that.

So thank you. This has been a gynecological update by your friend, The Sarcastic Journalist.


  1. I think as long as you don’t “tempt fate” - you will do fine. I was never on the pill/iud/sponge. Paul always wore a condom. Once we decided we were “ready” (hahaha - like you can ever be ready for kids), we just stopped using the condom.
    Hmm - this post was a little more TMI than I thought. LOL

    Comment by Kate — 8/25/2003 @ 9:51 am

  2. No one’s every ready for that first baby. If you wait until everything is just perfect and peachy in your life, you’ll never have children. Sometimes these things aren’t up to us, if you know what I mean. If you do get pregnant, you guys will be OK…trust me,you will.

    Ok, what the freak is a “jimmy cap"? I’m lost on that one. Is that one of those new fangled expressions you young folks are using these days?

    Comment by Allison — 8/25/2003 @ 10:40 am

  3. You WILL get pregnant within the next year if you keep it up. Don’t kid yourself. (no pun intended )That is a statistical fact. Heed this warning from a former planned parenthood worker and do NOT have unprotected sex unless you are ready to have a junior sarcastic journalist.
    So don’t have unprotected sex if you don’t want a kid.

    this lecture has been brought to you by curly girl.

    Comment by Curly Girl — 8/25/2003 @ 1:32 pm

  4. Ummm, let’s get back to this ‘Box of Tacos’ thing . . . *stomach growl*

    Comment by James — 8/25/2003 @ 2:18 pm

  5. Have you done any research into the patch? I haven’t tried it myself but many of my coworkers are on it and having good experiences with it. There’s also a website that can determine the days of the month when you are most likely to get pregnant - unfortunately, I can’t remember the URL right now!! I will try to find it though.

    Comment by Lynelle — 8/25/2003 @ 4:34 pm

  6. Are you using the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility? It’s very wonderful. I highly recommend that if you aren’t using it that you check in! I’m about to have my IUD yanked (heavy, yuckky, not going to get into it here) … don’t know about your surgery as a “new” reader … but anyhow, that’s my 2 cents worth for today :-) Get the book! It’s very good!!

    Comment by Corinne — 8/25/2003 @ 8:49 pm

  7. Two words: Busy Baby. The most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me, but totally unexpected whilst on the pill.

    Comment by Busy Mom — 8/26/2003 @ 11:26 am

  8. A child born into a loving marriage will not make you poor. Rather it will make you among the richest people on earth.

    But if you guys aren’t ready for a wee one, don’t have unprotected sex. Listen to your friend Curly Girl! Condoms really suck, but so does having a child you’re not ready for. Although, I agree with Allison … you’re never “ready.” It just becomes “time.”

    Comment by Texas T-Bone — 8/26/2003 @ 1:06 pm

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