Wet

I was about six years old when I decided I wanted to be a meteorologist. While all the other kids in my first grade class wanted to be garbagemen and nurses (I lived in Hick Town, what did you expect?) I had to be different.

I also had a love of The Weather Channel. I watched it like most kids watched their afternoon cartoons, infatuated with the weather in Boise. I obsessed over hurricanes and rainstorms, which was good considering we lived in south east Texas.

This is where Houston is, for those of you not in the know of the Texas landscape. (Actually, Houston is a little closer to the water but, whatever.)

Long story short but when I got accepted to Texas A&M in the meteorology department, I knew I made a mistake. Most third graders have a better grasp of math than I do. I’m not lying, you should ask The Hubs. Perhaps, if we all beg, he’ll comment and say just How Bad I Am At Math.

So, I’ve become obsessed with the weather again for the past few weeks for a few reasons. One, we’re finally getting rain here in Texas. Number two is that it is hurricane season and nothing gets my panties in a wad (the good kind) than a hurricane.

I LOVE hurricanes. I love the battery buying frenzy, I love the “danger,” I love the anticipation of what will happen. I don’t love the destruction and the loss of lives but in my fantasy world, we just don’t deal with that, okay?

Before I go on with what I want to write, I want everyone to know that I always have bad luck when it comes to hurricanes. So they think we might be getting a hurricane on Tuesday or Wednesday. CAN YOU GUESS WHO IS LEAVING TUESDAY FOR TULSA, A PLACE HURRICANES DO NOT GO TO??? Me!

Anyway, I hate the TV Weather People. One minute, they’re complaining that we don’t get any rain. Then it rains for two days in a row and they act like we’re all going to die. Die! Die! Die! They must break into my The View and Dr. Phil programming to inform me that someone is walking through the water in Houston! How dare that person?

I hope a gigantic snake ate her. Now get me my Dr. Phil back.

Why the hell are the weather people so surprised that it is raining in Houston? Hello, it is Houston, a town that, considering its location, can not deal with any amount of rainfall without becoming flooded. Same thing happened in Durham, NC. They always acted surprised when it snowed. Then all the local idiots would run around, buying milk and bread (huh? why?) when the threat of an ice/snow storm appeared.

Are people in San Fran always surprised when it is foggy? Or when they have an earthquake? Hey Phoenix! Wondering why it is so freaking hot?

So, bring it on, weather. Remember when I complained all day yesterday to nobody in particular about how the North Suburbs weren’t getting any rain like the deluge down in Houston? Remember how you tried to be funny and showed up on my doorstep at 6am, with lightning and thunder that shook our apartment and made all the car alarms go off?

Thought you were funny? Thought you’d tick me off and wake my baby? Well, ha. I had a one up on you, rain. We did a little Baby Benadryl experiment last night.

She slept through all of it. So bring it on. Hell hath no fury like a mama with a lifetime supply of Baby Benadryl.

48 Comments

  1. Baby Benadryl!!! I have to remember that!

    Comment by Amy Steier — 7/15/2005 @ 11:46 am

  2. Yeah! Bring on the rain!!! Now I don’t have to water my grass this week. Not that I was allowed to anyway. The Whitelands is on water restriction. And with all this wet/humid weather, my hair is so out of control that I look like Medussa. I’m so sexy right now that even I want me.

    Comment by The Merry Widow — 7/15/2005 @ 11:55 am

  3. E-MAIL ME!OK?! I want YOU the SARCASTIC JOURNALIST TO e-mail ME!!!! DAMMIT!!

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 12:15 pm

  4. I LOVE the weather chanel. Jim Cantore is the man.
    I too dig hurricanes. I sat on the hood of a car once during a hurricane.

    Comment by Torrie — 7/15/2005 @ 12:18 pm

  5. Oh, you should see the weather people here in california when it rains. It’s always “STORM WATCH".

    Also? WHY DO YOU WATCH THE VIEW? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

    Comment by Y — 7/15/2005 @ 12:30 pm

  6. I’ve got the guest bedroom made up for you SJ. Would you like one or two mints on your pillow?

    Comment by ieatcrayonz — 7/15/2005 @ 1:03 pm

  7. I was in Houston once. For a connecting flight. It didn’t connect, and neither did anybody else’s because it WAS RAINING.

    It totally ruined my life and stuff.

    Comment by coolbeans — 7/15/2005 @ 1:11 pm

  8. didja lose power? Houston was on CNN this morning. blah blah thousand people lost power. i thought of you.

    speaking of thunder and sleeping through it. Ms. G didn’t bat an eye throughout the July 4 fireworks (at the Cary amphitheater, not more than one mile away from the house), which literally shook the house and rattled the windows.

    Comment by Robotnik — 7/15/2005 @ 1:30 pm

  9. I remember only ONE time in my life where the thunder and lightning made the car alarms go off (I live in NorCal). It was funny as hell. My dog didn’t think so, though.

    Comment by Jessica — 7/15/2005 @ 1:31 pm

  10. In NJ EVERY winter when it snows people are openly weeping on the street, running out to buy milkd & bread and driving like asshats.
    People act like they have never seen, walked in or drove in snow before. Friggin. Annoying.

    Comment by Tuesdayef — 7/15/2005 @ 1:49 pm

  11. that annoys me about chicagoans too. they always seem to get upset when the inevitable “cooler by the lake” is announced on the news. come on, guys, get over it.

    Comment by aderyn — 7/15/2005 @ 2:01 pm

  12. My son gets obsessive about the weather and just last year (when he was six!) he stated he wanted to be a t.v. weatherman. We love all the things you love about hurricanes too, but here in Michigan it’s safer to do so. We just get a little rain from whatever is left as it makes it way north, like the half hour downpour that just ended. Buh-bye, Dennis.

    Comment by Traci — 7/15/2005 @ 2:15 pm

  13. Haha, you got that right on about Phoenix. I don’t mind the heat usually. Its is always fun to hear people complain about it that CHOSE to live here. It is also funny to hear people get so excited, because it is only going to get to 111° today! Trust me, you can totally tell a difference between 111° and 116°.

    What I DO mind, is all the freaking people who think it should be 60° inside all the buildings. Its like working in a meat locker. I have to wear sweaters and drink hot chocolate in July, so I don’t freeze to death. My body can’t handle the temperature fluctuations.

    Comment by DesertJade — 7/15/2005 @ 2:24 pm

  14. Um, this is a bit off topic, but who is this crazy stalking Thomas guy? Seriously, if this is not some frind of yours who is joking in a way that you get, I would be freaked out. I can understand why you’d ban him.

    Comment by Jack’s Raging Mommy — 7/15/2005 @ 2:27 pm

  15. Not a friend of mine. Its some weirdo that got pretty scary so I banned him. He’s now using a different IP every time he comes here so its harder to ban. Yes, did you know that if you call me a “bitch,” I’m going to want to email you?

    Seriously people, the Internet is a scary place. I’m very happy we’re not “listed” so someone could find us.

    Comment by Sarcastic Journalist — 7/15/2005 @ 2:30 pm

  16. SJ, I love hurricanes! Of course, not in the evil “I want death and destruction” way, but I’ve been lucky enough that the only hurricanse I’ve lived though have been minor. I justmissed Andrew by a couple days, as I spent summers in South FL, and my grandmom got me on a plane as soon as they heard it was coming, so I didn’t get stuck there and miss the start of school. Nor’Easters? Love them too! I figure if it’s gonna be cold, it damn well better snow. Now I live in KS, with freaking TORNADOES (is there an e or no e on the end of that?!). I don’t love tornadoes, there is no warning, no “buckling down” for a storm, it doesn’t seem fun. I hope to never see one up close.

    Comment by Crystal — 7/15/2005 @ 2:39 pm

  17. I live in the Seattle area and we have a hard time with any sort of weather changes around here. When it rains for a couple of weeks in a row and all of a sudden the sun comes out, traffic freaks out. Everyone is blinded and can’t remeber what sunglasses are. Then the rain comes again and people are like “my brakes! my windshield wipers! where are they!!!” Traffic sucks.

    Comment by Eulallia — 7/15/2005 @ 2:41 pm

  18. Come to New England. We have it all! We get hurricanes but only puny ones. The only people who ever die are the ones who try to see what a big wave looks like REALLY close and to them I say “Good riddance".

    Snow, also awesome. I do like to stock up on chocolate and cheese beforehand, you know, just in case.

    Comment by Em — 7/15/2005 @ 2:57 pm

  19. I was just thinking about that last night. A few days ago it was all “We NEED rain!” and drought talk and burn bans. So it’s rained for a couple of days but apparently not the right kind of rain, it was too hard. The weather people are never happy. Plus, the “local” weatherman here looks like a leprechaun, so whenever he’s on all I can do is say “I’m the leprechaun!” with an Irish accent (or as good of one as I can do).

    Comment by NinaKaye — 7/15/2005 @ 4:09 pm

  20. and for the Colorado contingency that has yet to comment about the “asshats” here… people don’t understand that EVERY winter, we will get snow, and you will have to drive thru it, and you will be able to do so. I don’t understand how people act so surprised and turn into morons and raid grocery stores. Totally weird. Good luck reining(sp) in the hurricane!

    Comment by Shalini — 7/15/2005 @ 4:35 pm

  21. oh? The storm showed up at you place at 6? Hmmm, by that time that s.o.b had already been at my place for an hour and a half! No lie, I could have read by the amount of light that storm was putting off. But? I was too busy trying to calm my wussy dog down as he had a meltdown of nuclear proportions. It’s kinda hard to get a dog to understand that the explosions happening directly over his head do not signify his impending death.

    Comment by Dee — 7/15/2005 @ 4:51 pm

  22. MIKE SEIDEL came to A&M last semester and I MISSED IT. I was so upset. I love that man.

    Sorry you’re going to miss Emily.

    Comment by janna — 7/15/2005 @ 5:03 pm

  23. Come on, if you just send me a message I will stop. Honest. Drop me a line, an e-mail, i’d go away. but nooooooooo, YOU WON’T!

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 5:31 pm

  24. And seriously, PLEASE. thomas_y2j@hotmail.com. Just e-mail me, or IM me on MSN. do something, for fuck sakes.

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 5:32 pm

  25. If you want to at my yahoo e-mail it’s matt_y2j@yahoo.com

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 5:33 pm

  26. oh I also have both messengers and AOL Instant Messenger. Message me at heavensxjokex14 if you wanna chat on AIM. Thanks.

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 5:34 pm

  27. imbeciles! someone messaged me on AIM posing as the sarcastic journalist. nobody else is welcome to speak to me, only her/him. thank you =)

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 6:13 pm

  28. and not funny! comedy regarding the matter will not be well recieved. ty. oh and if she does e-mail me/talk to me via messenger I will no longer be posting on this site. so this may, MAY! be good-bye. so, yea, bye peoples.

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 6:15 pm

  29. I shall ignore the troll and just say this: the fact that they had the weather channel when you were a kid makes me feel VERY VERY OLD. So, thanks.

    Comment by AMy — 7/15/2005 @ 6:23 pm

  30. I’m seconding Amy. When I was a little girl we didn’t even have CABLE. Yes, I predate cable, color tv and the weather channel.

    sigh

    I like hurricanes too, but don’t tell the hubby, as he gets kinda unreasonable when high winds are involved. Probably has something to do with the fact he’s be in three tornadoes. I guess that takes all the fun out of the lightning show.

    Me, I sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in my head and wonder…

    Comment by Nancy France — 7/15/2005 @ 8:26 pm

  31. Heh, what’s funny is I did the same thing as you…I loved the weather, watched the Weather Channel hours at a time. I even searched only for schools which had meteorology, was accepted to all of them, went to one and had a hell of a time with Calculus and Physics. It SUCKED! I ended up transfering to another university in-state (not because of the Calculus and Physics crap but that’s a whole other story,) and finished my meteorology degree as a customized degree under the Geography department as a Bachelor of ARTS! Is that messed up or what?! What’s the icing on the cake is that I ended up working in the field of Computer Science which was my minor! LOL!

    Comment by Jenn — 7/15/2005 @ 8:33 pm

  32. My college roommate used to use every turn of the weather as an excuse for cocktails. We would shout “Storm Party” and get out the booze. It was always so fun to watch the buses sliding backwards down the big hill we lived on. When my kids were little, I recreated the tradition in a more child friendly way, we also yell “storm party", but then have some non alcoholic fun. My kids love a good storm. The more lighning and thunder the better. (Takes the edge off a black out too)

    Comment by clickmom — 7/15/2005 @ 8:58 pm

  33. come on JUST CHAT WITH ME ONCE! GOD!

    Comment by Thomas — 7/15/2005 @ 9:15 pm

  34. Whoa, I saw this and thought of you! http://www.wsbtv.com/health/4727951/detail.html

    Comment by Taryn — 7/15/2005 @ 9:58 pm

  35. Thomas sounds super hot.

    Comment by Taryn — 7/15/2005 @ 10:07 pm

  36. Thomas sounds fustrated…in more ways than one.

    I like hurricanes too…just not when Hurricane Fran threw trees on my house, or when Hurricane Floyd drowned our three cars. That was a real b*tch. But its so fun to stand outside when the eye is over your house…so cool!

    Comment by Fellow Eskimo — 7/15/2005 @ 10:37 pm

  37. Thomas is funny. Not ha ha funny. Just funny.

    btw: I’m an Aggie too

    Comment by Nancy France — 7/15/2005 @ 10:48 pm

  38. I’m a Him/Her now!!!! Awesome. I agree with Taryn, desperation is totally hot.

    Comment by Sarcastic Journalist — 7/15/2005 @ 11:18 pm

  39. hmm. troll sandwich.

    HAHA just kidding thomas!!!! you seem REALLY normal and, uh, not at all strange.

    on to the topic at hand - people here in michigan drive like total morons in the first week or so we get our first batch of winter snow. like, somehow, they completely forgot everything they knew about driving in icy/wet/cold/freezing/yearlyeverywinter conditions and had to relearn it by making LOTS of stupid mistakes. like driving far too freaking fast on ice and then being all shocked and upset when they end up in the ditch. by the hundreds.

    Comment by rachael — 7/15/2005 @ 11:32 pm

  40. When sarcasm escapes someone pleading to talk to the Sarcastic Journalist, irony reigns supreme. And why exactly is him/her even a question? He’s read your site, right?
    Kid, do your parents know you are still up?

    Comment by Jack’s Raging Mommy — 7/16/2005 @ 2:14 am

  41. I think I may have dated Thomas in high school. I was always a sucker for the desperate loser.

    Thank goodness I’m past that.

    On another note, if each person who reads SJ’s site signs his email address up for one porn newsletter he should be flooded quite nicely on a regular basis ;-)

    Comment by kim — 7/16/2005 @ 6:11 am

  42. Thank you again to whoever IMed him. Maybe it will get him off my case.

    I DO NOT IM PEOPLE. plain and simple.

    Comment by Sarcastic Journalist — 7/16/2005 @ 10:30 am

  43. Could atleast drop me a fucking line via e-mail. Geeze.

    Comment by Thomas — 7/16/2005 @ 11:34 am

  44. this is getting so old.

    Comment by Robotnik — 7/16/2005 @ 11:56 am

  45. thomas-

    you’re a creep.

    cut the crap. stop stalking SJ.

    you’re not funny or cool at all. whatever you’re trying to accomplish, you’ve failed.

    sJ- want me to kick his ass? i CAN, you know. and then i’ll sit on him.

    Comment by honey bunny — 7/16/2005 @ 1:54 pm

  46. So, I suppose if you won’t email Thomas it’s unlikely that you will come round to my house and do a comedy dance, right?
    Dreams = shattered.
    I live in London and the weather here is hot at the moment, and it’s true what they say about the British, we like to talk about it ALL THE TIME.
    And we have marginally less hurricaines, I reckon.

    Comment by Léonie — 7/18/2005 @ 8:47 am

  47. I just moved from Seattle to Arizona (traded green for blue). Oh, my! I can’t say that I’m so much surprised as totally shocked.

    My body can’t figure out whther to rejoice or completely shut down. I can breathe again and the misty veil has lifted from the terminal mini-depression of the past 12 years.

    On the other hand I have more headaches and my husband won’t stop scratching. Seriously!

    I just have to say, thank goodness for swamp coolers (yah, I’d never heard of them before, either), and Blue Bunny ice cream!

    Comment by Rowan — 7/19/2005 @ 1:51 pm

  48. I’ve always been a Hurricane LOVER too. LOVE them, couldn’t wait for another. I would see one forming in the gulf and watch in anticipation and hope that it came my way so I could enjoy it. I like to sit in the garage, just far enough back that I don’t get wet and watch the wind. that is UNTIL Hurricane Ivan made his grand appearance here. Now I only LOVE small hurricanes and I’m beginning to not like those so much.
    I posted a link on my blog recently of the massive damage done to my town during Ivan, that probably has alot to do with my sudden less than gung-ho attitude about hurricanes.
    I’ll always love foul weather but the big boy hurricanes can go somewhere else.
    Dawn

    Comment by dawn — 7/21/2005 @ 8:33 pm

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