Odd Man Out

My therapist likes to tell me lots of things about myself. I think that she’s correct; she’s good at seeing the sides of me that I don’t want to see.

I’m realizing that I set myself up for failure every weekend. I remember, when I “worked” outside the home, that the weekends were a time to come home, lay on the couch and sleep in late. Now that I stay at home, I’m used to being here all the time. I have a set schedule during the weekdays: Wake up, watch The View, eat breakfast and drink coffee, put the baby down for a nap, shower, etc.

Then come the weekends. Everyone is waking up at odd times, the shows I “watch” aren’t on, I don’t have to take my shower during naptime. Next thing you know, the Pregnant Crazy comes out and I’m accusing everyone of being mean and evil.

I think I’m expecting for The Hubs to turn into Cruise Director Mode and make tons of plans for us on the weekends. Perhaps House of Pies in Houston or a museum or a trip to the beach. Since it is the Summer, I do not want to do anything, therefore, making plans is hard.

Know how some people get depressed in the Winter? I’m lethargic in the Summer. I do not want to eat, go anywhere, do anything or see anyone. I hate the heat, I hate the intense sunlight and I don’t like sweating while walking to my car.

My therapist got onto me yesterday about not trying to make friends. It’s true, I really stopped trying to make an effort. It seems like most people end up disappointing me in some way, by either cancelling our “dates” (this happens a lot) or having different goals in life than I do. I’m sorry, but I can’t imagine myself becoming best friends with someone who buys her baby a pony. It’s also hard for me to want to hang with people who are only interested in buying the biggest house possible, even if they don’t have the money to buy furniture for it.

I know we’re all parents, but can’t we have a conversation that doesn’t have to do with the brand of fruit chews you buy your baby? Do you not have interests? A personality? An identity outside of your children?

I can’t sit around in a circle on the floor and make “small talk” about my baby. I can’t. If the only thing we have in common is that we have a child, well, we really don’t have that much in common.

I guess that if you’re going to want to make “mommy friends,” moving to a mostly white, rich, conservative town where everyone drives fancy cars wasn’t the best idea, even if this is the place you call “home.”

I feel like I’m back in college, a place where I should have made tons of friends, but didn’t. I just didn’t get it. I couldn’t find people I clicked with, find people who wanted to do fun things. I guess that’s what happens when you went to a school where the “herd mentality” was the norm and anyone who didn’t follow was called a “two percenter.”

You didn’t want to get called a two percenter, even though people called me one.

I feel like I’m the two percenter here in the Mommy World, a place where people meet up at parks and talk diapers over sippy cups. In a land where the Course Requirements include fancy SUVs and “perfect” lives, my flawed Toyota Camry driving self just doesn’t fit in.

I wonder what the transfer requirements are? I think I need to go to the College of Fun Mommies.

54 Responses to “Odd Man Out”

  1. Tuesdayef
    July 8th, 2005 12:39

    I hear you. I have NO fiends in my town at all. They all seem to have thier own groups, or friends with them. I don’t know how to get into a group.
    All the Moms I do meet and like, have to work so playdates are out. All the ones who stay home seem to be rich snobs and that is not my style.

  2. The Merry Widow
    July 8th, 2005 12:44

    Um, hello! I am totally doing fun things all the time, like going to museums, horse back riding, going to shows, eating dinner, having picnics, playing in the park. But you never wanna come out and play with me! I think I fit your requirements and all…. I mean, I don’t wanna buy a pony for my kid AND I was able to buy a house (albeit a small one) and the furniture to go in it too. Not to mention that I freakin rock. Plus, if you hang out with me, I’ll buy you a tiara to match mine. Oh yeah, and I’ll take a shower too so that I’m not too stinky for you.

  3. Citizen Mom
    July 8th, 2005 12:50

    I say this in all seriousness, because I spent the first year after began my career hiatus in exactly the place you are right now. This is the one place where looking at at-home motherhood as a career (which is otherwise a total fallacy, let’s face it) comes in handy. You may not love doing the “go out and make mommy friends” thing, but you have to FORCE yourself to do it. Literally. Join one of those MOMS Club groups or something, and even if you leave the house once a week for a playgroup and are in sheer agony during the 90 minutes you spend making inane conversation with the other women, DO IT. You don’t have to be BFF’s with these people, but you’ll get out of the house for a bit. And you NEED to get out of the house at some point nearly every day and connect with other living, breathing, adult humans.
    And no, your blog audience, message board buddies and far-flung email pals don’t count.
    I say this in all seriousness, no sarcasm, no snark, no exaggeration. ‘Cause nobody loves staying home more than I do, dude. But you have to force yourself to get out at some point, for even the most ridiculous reason, every day. Or you’ll go nuts and drive your kid nuts.
    Seriously, join a group or a book club or something. You may connect with one woman and become good friends with her, and have someone to talk about books and music and politics or whatever you like to talk about, and it’ll be worth it. I’m serious about this. What I’ve found living in suburban whiteyville is that there are a lot of extremely smart, well-educated and worldly women trying to connect with people to talk about important things, like Brangelina.

  4. KattyKatFlash
    July 8th, 2005 12:58

    I am the freakin’ cruise director and I can’t get my husband away from the “All You Can Drink Buffet” long enough to have some fun time with the family. As for friends (or lack of thereof) I don’t think I was meant to have them. I actually had a Friday night off no kid no laundry, hubby said to call a friend and go out. I call Jan* (no answer) and Kate* (no answer)- I’m tapped out that’s it for friends 2 yep just 2. I don’t even need a full hand for that. *names have been changed to protect….whatever they’re hiding at the moment.

  5. Stacey
    July 8th, 2005 13:30

    I’ve had a really hard time meeting mom friends too! When he was younger I didn’t mind talking about him 100% of the time, but now he’s 2 and I have other things I’d like to talk about w/ these women, but that doesn’t seem to go over real well. It’s always awkward conversations. My husband works late so I can’t even go out at night for a break to talk to people w/o the kids tagging along. And like KattyKatFlash, even if I had the opportunity to go out, I wouldn’t have anyone really to call. Hang in there, you are not alone. Hope you find the right “friends” soon.

  6. MollieBee
    July 8th, 2005 13:33

    Move to Denver! We could start our own gang…the BWC: bitches with crotchfruit. It would be great! I’ll start figuring out what our colors and signs should be.

  7. debutaunt
    July 8th, 2005 13:36

    Sorry, but if you don’t live in Houston, you don’t get it. It’s not a matter of getting out, it’s a matter of it’s freaking hot as Africa here. Like you walk to your car and your pits are soaked.

    I too suffer from Summer depression. I think it has to do with having practically zero melanin in my skin.

    Hang in there chica. I work and I can’t relate to any of these damn people here, so I kind of feel the same way. Right now, the only interaction I have during the day is my internet friends. But I have been hanging with lots of them at night and they form my social circle. I don’t think that’s so bad.

  8. Stefanie
    July 8th, 2005 13:49

    I’m so happy I found a few people’s blogs that I can relate to. You’d think that being a relatively new mom living in Los Angeles and working in television I’d have some cool moms to talk to right? Uh uh. The only other mothers I know are really really fascinated with being mothers. I, also, cannot sit and make small talk about my baby for more than 5 minutes. The main thing I’ve noticed is that no other moms seem to have a sense of humor. Especially a dry sense of humor. I would kill for one cool fun mom to hang out with and I HAVE tortured myself by going to a “mommy and me” (I can’t even take the name of that) group, and a book club. Unfortunately, I much rather hang out at home and play online poker. I’ve just tried to adjust to hanging out with my still single friends. Unfortunately, they don’t really get it either. I”m with you!

  9. Robotnik
    July 8th, 2005 13:51

    why, why WHY did you move out of the Durham area? do you not realize how much shit you and I would sling at these bastards you describe had you stayed? we would only be twenty minutes apart. both with daughters the same age. both staying at home. both anti-social curmudgeons who hate our suburban neighbors. both broke. ha! it would’ve been lethal. instead, i’m left to dump grass killer on my neighbors’ lawns all by myself. faaark!

  10. KattyKatFlash
    July 8th, 2005 13:56

    I forgot to add I understand about the heat. I live in FL. Freakin’ A it’s sweltering (not that it keeps from doing stuff while bitching profusely about the heat and mugginess). There’s nothing worse than the 2 minute walk to car and a bead of sweat rolls down your back and into your butt-crack. I hate Florida but I hate snow more. Maybe I should move into a malll…hmmm..not a bad idea at all.

  11. Pam
    July 8th, 2005 14:02

    Okay, delurking to say that I would totally be your friend “in person” but, alas, I live in Atlanta, where, I hesitate to say this, it’s not nearly as hot and humid as it is in Houston.

    I have a friend that “Mommy Stalks” - she’s a stay at home mom, so has taken to noticing other women with kids wherever she is, and if they sound funny or look interesting, she just walks up and talks to them. That would work for me except I don’t “do” socialization. Oh well.

    Maybe a personal ad? “SAHM seeks fun-loving mom-like person to hang out with. Must not suck.”

  12. Zeb
    July 8th, 2005 14:09

    I don’t have any children but I have a dog, and we met our best friends that way. I agree with you, though, it’s tough to make friends - it’s a lot of effort and sometimes it just doesn’t seem worth it. And so that makes us weird, right?
    I hear ya on the summer thing too…except after our humid summer, we also get a 6 month hell winter (Michigan). To think I used to live in CA. ho hum. Get a dog - if nothing else, he’ll be your buddy!

  13. chris
    July 8th, 2005 14:15

    Wow, you pretty much summed up everything that I feel. I have no real friends. Where are all the fun interesting people? People who when you ask if they have read anything good lately, don’t mention Parenting magazine. People who have a sense of humor, so that I don’t have to say “I’m joking” after every other comment. People in real life don’t like me nearly as much as my internet friends, nor do they think I am funny.

  14. Stephanie2913
    July 8th, 2005 14:27

    You hit the nail on the head. I did join a Mom’s group and while they are all a great bunch of ladies all they talk about is kids, husbands, and the happenings in the group. I don’t think any of them get out much at all.
    I think I will follow Parns lead and post an ad. That cracked me up

  15. mrtl
    July 8th, 2005 14:30

    I’m in the same boat. I don’t want to join Moms Club, but don’t think they’d let me anyway since I work full time (from home) and my kid’s in daycare. The ladies on my street seem a bit snooty, save one who’s never home. Gah!

  16. Seriously Steph.
    July 8th, 2005 14:37

    Yep. I’m near Houston too. It’s a nightmare this year with no rain until this week too. Usually it is bad in July and August and this year we had almost 100 degree temps in June. I’m frightented to think what August will be like actually.

    SJ, I totally relate to your feelings about not feeling like you’ve found your niche of friends. But, know that there are lots of down-to-earth people in this area who would love to have a witty and hilarious friend as you seem to be.

    I’m in a Moms’ group too and really recommend it. Our group is kind of geared toward women who were really into their careers before they transitioned to being at home. Consequently, we don’t talk a lot about only diapers and “little Johnny’s latest phase.” Our ladies are way more into our Moms’ Night Out nights and bookclub, scrapbooking, etc. Email me if you’re interested in learning more. I agree with Citizen Mom completely–get out to something you enjoy and meet people. You really do need to force yourself out of the house. I think it is really easy to get depressed being an at-home mom, especially because it can be so isolating. Hang in there!

  17. h.m.
    July 8th, 2005 15:19

    “It’s also hard for me to want to hang with people who are only interested in buying the biggest house possible, even if they don’t have the money to buy furniture for it.”

    AMEN! all of our friends are doing this right now and it pisses me off to no end. it’s like they’re in a race….a race to be STOOPID! they’re all buying these houses that “have yet to be built”, where they go to the showroom and pick out all the paint colours, wood stains, floorings, etc etc etc. and i can’t imagine how they’re ever going to afford to put a fridge and stove in there, let alone make mortgage payments.

    we spent literally HALF what they all spent on houses, ours is in an old neighbourhood and duplexed, and the guy living downstairs pays more than half of our mortgage. who’s laughing now?

    be smart!

  18. Malena
    July 8th, 2005 15:25

    I HATE houston in the summer. I was jumping for joy last night when the temperature dropped to mid 70’s.
    I immediately got in my car and went to have some coffee, sitting outside and enjoying the night like any decent person would do, instead of stinking up the place with all your weat and swatting your arms, flicking away the mosquitoes like it usually happens here in h town. =)

    as a person that doesn’t click with almost anybody I have no advice. Keep us informed on what your therapist suggests.

  19. paul
    July 8th, 2005 15:38

    i didn’t know what a “two percenter” was and looked it up.

    god forbid you not be part of the herd when you go to college. what are you? a free thinker?!?!?!

    please don’t take this as an insult toward you (because it isn’t), but that’s just reason one million why i don’t like a&m.

  20. debutaunt
    July 8th, 2005 15:38

    Oh. I also forgot to add that I joined up on this local online forum that has zero to do with kids, but has a parents forum if you want to talk about stuff. You sort of get to know whose personalities you like before you meet them. They are always up to some kind of fun. (uh… fyi - Htown ladies - mom’s night off July 23rd for some downtown ass shaking. sweat happens.)

    My sister did too. Although her forum is more nationwide, but they still meet up a few times a year.

    Better than getting stuck with the Martha Stewart of Mothers… Oh… my baby neeeever had diaper rash. And she neeeever cried when she got her teeth. She only eats organic baby food. And sleeps though the night. See how perky my tits are?

  21. RisibleGirl
    July 8th, 2005 15:49

    I get what you’re saying, only because I was recently exposed to a bunch of mommies. I’m 45 years old and supposedly enough past child bearing that my pelvis bones have grown back together. Although the mirror is telling me a different story ;)

    Anyway, the wife of hubby’s business partner invited me to come play Bunco with her friends. Holy hell, I thought I’d go mad at all the mommy talk. I kept wondering if I was that way when I had young kids. I don’t think so…

    I think you need to find older friends, say like around 45 years old. As long as they’re not late breeders, they (we) usually have interesting things to talk about. You know, like hot flashes and stuff.

  22. poobou
    July 8th, 2005 16:02

    I have absolutely no female friends here in Seattle, and now that I’m a newlywed, my husband and I have started trying to make “couple friends”. Which basically means he drags me along to meet his guy friends, and while the two of them hang out, me and the other dude’s wife/fiancee are supposed to “bond” or something. It hasn’t worked successfully yet.

  23. bob
    July 8th, 2005 16:04

    Citzen Mom nailed it. Sometimes you gotta force yourself to do things that were once fun until they are fun again. Or just vary the scenery. Remember the famous Martin Seligman experiments with German Shepherds? He gave them noncontingent electric shock…they never knew when it was coming or why…then when they had the chance to escape the shock, they wouldn’t…they’d just stand there and get zapped…phenomenon of “Learned Helplessness” Gotta fight it. But it gets easier.

  24. NinaKaye
    July 8th, 2005 16:25

    I don’t have any friends either. In fact, the only person I’ve actually made “friends” with since high school is my husband…and I met him online!
    This is about to make me cry. I think I need some prozac or something.

  25. NinaKaye
    July 8th, 2005 16:27

    Oh crap. I think my comment got ate by moderation. heh

  26. Citizen Mom
    July 8th, 2005 17:00

    Bob, I think I read the same article you did in the New Yorker this week. I do not get Parents mag. :)

  27. Torrie
    July 8th, 2005 17:20

    See, the problem is, people suck. Especially Star Jones. And, they will continue to suck.
    What you should do is become a recluse like me and only converse with people on the internet.

  28. Shalini
    July 8th, 2005 17:23

    You should move to Colorado. I think you would like it here, and it’s hot, but not so hot that after you get done with a shower you are still sweaty. I hated living in Houston. I love Texas, but Houston was hell. And you don’t have to have a pony to live here!

  29. mushster
    July 8th, 2005 19:03

    Citizen Mom nailed it and as painful as it might be at first, the more you get to know them and the longer you stick it out, the more diverse the topics will become.

  30. Robotnik
    July 8th, 2005 19:19

    also…you want to know how lame I AM? I fucking go out to a grocery store and before I go in to buy groceries, I sit in the parking lot with the music on for, sometimes half an hour, because I never have any time to listen to songs anymore.

  31. Robotnik
    July 8th, 2005 19:21

    I disagree. I think if these playgroup gatherings suck balls the first time, they don’t get any better if “you stick it out.” People, in general, are boring fuckos with no lives who get together and bitch about their lack of lives/husbands/bratty kids, etc. I’m with you…I don’t want to talk about my daughter and her “phases.” I’m with her all the time. I don’t need to comiserate.

  32. Corrie
    July 8th, 2005 19:55

    SJ, you know what? You really are an awesome person, no matter what anybody tells you. If I lived in Texas, I’d so be hanging out with you, but then you would get sick of me and kick my ass. However, I agree, it is so hard to make friends in preppieland. It took alot of searching and looking like a lost puppy until I found a couple of friends that I love. It’s hard, most moms are ten years older than me (I am 28) and in a way higher tax bracket and they SUCK! They never want to be my friend because they think I am 12, uneducated and ghetto. Hah! I am so rad, I have a blog, I went to college and I am twenty-freaking-eight! They are missing out on FUN! Keep on fighting the good fight and show your true colors, you rock!

  33. Jack's Raging Mommy
    July 8th, 2005 20:23

    If you get in (or find it for that matter) please let me know the secret. I know no one in Omaha, the people online are my friends. Which isn’t so bad since most of the people I know on the interweb I know from the real world. But my human interaction consists of the librarian and my therapist- who had her baby two weeks before Jack was born so I haven’t seen her in a while.
    I need to take my meds. My day’s been hell.

  34. coffeegirl
    July 8th, 2005 21:20

    Girlie, I don’t relate with any of the mommies around here either. I have a few, very close friends that I’ve had for years and none of them have kids. I think I like them so much because they knew me before I had kids, and we talk about things other than kids. They’re my occasional, brief escape from reality. Sometimes I need a break, and sometimes I find myself anxious to get home to my boys and talk about Star Wars and weenies and whether or not Superman would still have superpowers if he landed on Mars instead of Earth.

    Maybe you just need a little variety? Maybe a part time job that will get you out of your “mommy suit” every now and then? Just throwing stuff out here…

  35. Lucky
    July 8th, 2005 21:26

    When you figure out how to transfer….let me know?

    Until then, I will be hold up under my desk with the regions FINEST two buck chuck and a ding dong.

  36. Heather
    July 8th, 2005 22:13

    This is yet another example of how I know God has a sence of humor. B.C. (before children) I had a life. A.C. (after children) …which is supposed to “full-fill” your life…no friends=no life. God is laughing HARD

  37. Layla
    July 8th, 2005 22:35

    I am so glad I found your blog. I tried explaining to my pastor once why I didn’t fit in with ANY of the women at our church. I swear all the talked about was their kids, their houses and their husbands…I wanted to SCREAM “Don’t you people ever pick up a friggin newspaper? Don’t you have an opinion on anything? Do you do anything that does not revolve around being a SAHM? Is your life all about how your kids are doing in soccer, what color to paint the walls in your re-decorated-every-year house, and why your husband doesn’t listen to you????”

    Geez, sometimes I wish I could just hang out with the men but then I’d be accused of trying to flirt…

    It’s not easy being a single mom with a life outside of her kid - no matter where you live.

    Wow, thanks I needed to get this out. (BTW, I haven’t been to church in about six months….but I have met some interesting bloggers!)

  38. clickmom
    July 9th, 2005 07:17

    Don’t despair. I moved to the burbs 8 years ago with a four year old and a newborn, and almost died of lonliness, it took a while but eventually I formed this underground of grounded- reality based women folk, who can get together and talk about things like current events, books, sagging breasts, politics, and our kids too. It is a nice “we exist beyong our roles as mothers” mix. It helps when the kids get to be school aged- you can sum up another mother in two seconds by her comments at a PTA meeting. I have seriously bonded with moms who have approached me after I voice my not-always-popular-opinion and tell me they agree, but were afraid to speak due to the possibility of a lynch mob. (I fear no one!) Keep trying and you will find some soul-mate friends out there too. (Or you can move near me and we can hang)

  39. Darcie
    July 9th, 2005 09:44

    Frankly, I would be happy to discuss sippy cups or your baby’s pony if that’s what it takes to start a conversation. What I hate is the competition and the “oh, YOUR baby isn’t walking/talking/whatevering YET?” I’m so sick of snotty moms. I go to Starbucks with my son and try to smile and make eye contact. . .Am I not carrying the approved brand of diaper bag or what? It seems to me that I’m just another person for the Stepford Moms around here to compare themselves to. I am not interested in the Moms Club in the least. I tried it and there’s way too much judgementalism there–not enough moms who just want friends. Yes, I’d LOVE for my son to be in a playgroup, but God, if I have to here, “How many waiting lists for early-admission preschool is YOUR son on?” I’ll scream, I swear. Oh, and for the record, I live in a wealthy, predominantly white community, too. But the majority are liberals. So, I don’t think that makes any difference.

    If you want to find friends with similar interests, you might try Meetup.com. I’ve met fun people through a knitting and book meetup. For me, the problem is, the meetup meetings are in the evenings and my husband has to be home so that I can go.

  40. Mir
    July 9th, 2005 10:06

    (I am too lazy to read all the previous comments, so if I’m echoing what’s already been said, I apologize in advance.)

    Transitioning from working to staying at home is hard. Making that transition SOCIALLY is HARDER. By the time I’d finally found my niche as a stay-at-home mom (5 years later!), I headed back to work. *cue me banging my head on the wall* Finding like-minded pals is hard in the stay-at-home world, but it can be done.

    Tain’t nothing wrong with being a two-percenter. Find your fellow two-percenters (I promise they are out there!) and have fun laughing at the masses. ;)

  41. Citizen Mom
    July 9th, 2005 10:19

    Robotnik, you cracked me up about sitting in the car listening to the radio. One of my non-kid friends was horrified — just incredulous — to hear me say I don’t own an iPod. Riiiight. “Sorry son, mommy couldn’t hear you screaming for more Jello pudding, I had my earbuds in.” Give me a break.
    And about the playgroup things, just to clarify: It doesn’t ever actually get really *better*, and it all usually devolves into 7th grade at some point. But you stick it out long enough to find maybe one or two cool moms you like, then ditch the playgroup. That’s what I’m sayin…
    The point is that you have to physically leave your house.

  42. Kat
    July 9th, 2005 10:41

    That is totally going to be me in the next few months. We moved to the ‘burbs a year ago and haven’t made one friend between us out here. It’s just hard when you look around and everyone has big SUV’s, and highlighted hair, and fake nails, and I feel I outgrew the need for those things in high school. Then I think maybe I’m just being too judgmental. If I could just get past their exterior maybe they’re great people. I mean you know, for the interim, until I can find a “real” friend or two around here.

  43. Bob
    July 9th, 2005 10:49

    OK, I don’t wanna come across too much like a know-it-all here..but is it even remotely possible that you hate the baby small talk with other moms cuz you’re a mommy blogger? What I mean is you invest thought and energy into maintaining a wonderful blog for mommies and put it out here…but then when you are in the real world you are kinda satiated on the whole thing???

    It’s like how I blog a lot about sex but when I’m out drinking with some gay guys I know, I don’t even mention my girlfriend and the action I’m getting…plus, I really want to pick up some color coordination hints for painting my living room….like is plum last year’s mustard????

  44. Darcie
    July 9th, 2005 10:50

    Um, any of you cool moms live in Northern Virginia?

  45. MollieBee
    July 9th, 2005 13:18

    dudes, it’s mom’s night out at the hookah bar here in Denver. Although, I dunno why we are going to a place to smoke tobacco? Free drinks, tho, can’t complain too much.

    Wish you were here, I’ll save a spot for ya.

  46. esther
    July 9th, 2005 20:26

    So, I haven’t read any of the comments. found this entry by a link, whose I don’t remember. It’s Saturday night, I am off 2 weeks’ vacation with the kids, had my first adult conversation in as much time, i.e. more than one round of drinks.
    Anyway, my point is, that I NEVER got into any of those groups. Felt like an outsider ALL THE TIME. Hell, my kids never even used sippy cups.

    It took me a while, I was quite lonely, but, now that my kids are older, I have found some friends that I feel a connection with. It was tough, I won’t lie, always feeling like the outsider, but it is worth it, to wait, and find the niche that you belong to.
    Good luck to you. Don’t succumb. It’ll be worth the wait.

  47. Bente
    July 10th, 2005 08:32

    I feel the same way about conversations with other mothers that are only about the babies. I was out with a group of women on Saturday night and that was all they could talk about. It was very boring and I could not stop yawning. I ended up leaving early and just coming home to watch tv with my husband. I really hope I never get to the point where the only thing I can talk about is my daughter, Elli. I mean I love to talk about her, but not just her. Ack. Thankfully these women aren’t people I spend alot of time with. I have my usual playgroup and we can talk about anything under the sun.

  48. Amy Steier
    July 10th, 2005 10:53

    My baby is teething and the fatigue makes me a Non-Fun Mommy these days.

  49. missfithausfrau
    July 10th, 2005 11:54

    I have just moved back to the Midwest smack dab into suburbia. I am having a very difficult time leaving the house because A) My 2 year old daughter is a freak and we can’t even walk around the block without drama and B) It isn’t Houston Hot, but it is still Hell Hot. I am the whitest of White Women in America who isn’t albino–nuff said. While I am meeting neighbors, I am not bonding with them yet. They are all LOVING being at home with their kids and are usually quite taken aback when I tell them that the older child is in daycare 3 days a week. I’ve stopped explaining why she is there (I worked before the second baby was born and we immediately sold our house and moved after the birth. We thought maintaining daycare was really important.) I am also not particularly interested in discussing my spiritual/religiuous background with them. In addition, it is apparently WRONG to drink beer on your front porch in the evenings when all the neighbors are taking walks. I have gotten more than one stare for that one.
    Anywhoo, I just found out about another Women’s group that I am going to check out called “Mom’s and More.” It is designed for mothers of all breeds (working or SAH). While they have playgroups, etc., they have activities in the evenings WITHOUT children like Book Clubs, etc. They do have a website with a directory for local chapters. I have high hopes for it.

    I hope this helps you. While I love my kids and wouldn’t change anything in the world, I don’t feel that I should be defined by them.

  50. Jennifer
    July 10th, 2005 14:18

    Yeah, I was also a two percenter at A&M before I transferred to UT. I knew it was going to be bad when I went to Fish Camp and everyone else seemed to be having the time of their lives and making friends left and right, and I didn’t meet a single person. That’s about the same way I feel when I go to the neighborhood pool and see all the other moms hanging out and chatting about diapers and spit-up. I’m just a freak. :)

  51. honey bunny
    July 10th, 2005 21:27

    i’m a single, white, childless woman in her 20s with no friends, either.
    sometimes it gets me down, but then i realize that i like the company of myself more than anyone else. well, i like hangin’ with the hubs-to-be, but that might change once we tie the knot ;)

  52. Debbie
    July 11th, 2005 09:25

    This is exactly why I started reading your blog! Gads! I went through the same thing when I first moved to NW Houston! I thought I was the crazy one though. Glad to hear it isn’t me. I joined a Mom’s group years ago and couldn’t stand the way all they did was talk about how they loved being at home with their kids - I felt like I was such a bad person for being bored. Of course, I also found out I was a bad person because my child had tasted soda (its not like I was loading his bottle with the stuff or anything) and liked Power Rangers. Needless to say, enough of us weird, different mom’s who like having a life of our own, found each other and hang out on a regular basis.

  53. Nancy France
    July 11th, 2005 21:51

    I’ve been here in Cypress, near Katy for 5 years. Married my hubby when I was 40, and we’re NOT going to have kids. I’m a teacher, so I get my maternal instincts assuaged during the year. I’d like to meet some friends myself.

  54. Justin'sMommy
    July 11th, 2005 23:46

    I am in the same boat as you. It’s like I have forgotten how to make friends! It’s hard. Like dating. I finally broke down and joined MOMS club. I just started going and so far it’s not bad. There are a few people I would like to get to know. Finally some younger moms moved into my neighborhood. They are still building so hopefully more will come. Before that I was the same age as alot of my neighbor’s kids!!!! Apparently 27 is too young for them to be friends with….snobby biotches.

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