Hot Topic

What happened on here yesterday surprised me. I know, you think I shouldn’t be surprised, but the arguments that people get into over “hot topics” always leaves me scratching my head.

There are some pregnancy message boards where people post “hot topics” such as breast or bottle, cloth or disposable, snip or don’t.

To me, these aren’t “Hot topics.” They are personal decisions. I wouldn’t belittle someone for only formula feeding– you don’t know the person or their reasons for doing so. I wouldn’t laugh and point and scream at you if you have a drug free labor and I assume you’d give me the same respect regarding my choice for an epidural. Different strokes for different folks.

Ha, so if you say I’m talking about the old snippage to get “hits” and “more comments,” boy are you wrong. To say that to me is an insult. No I’m not “mad” at the person who said this, I’m just assuming this person does not know SJ.

I’m not a link whore. You are not going to get to answer a poll on whether I name this kid “Max” or “Mike.”

I’ve had people explain the “politics” of blogging to me. Stories of people who will let you buy your way into their blogroll. People who go out of their way to link to the Blogger of the Week or Month or Whatever. I couldn’t believe it and I’m probably breaking some secret blogging code by saying there are major link whores out there who will use you if someone deems you “popular.”

These are the same people who kissed the Homecoming Queen’s ass in high school.

Here’s a hint: I wasn’t friends with the Homecoming Queen nor did I want to be. I’m not interested in being one of the “cool” kids in the blog world. I have said over and over that I don’t consider myself “popular.” I’ve seen the “popular” blogs and man, I’m glad I don’t pay for THAT bandwith!


Since I’m at it, everyone stop it with the “Dooce Wannabe” insults already. Yeah I get my fair share of them and I know a bunch of people who also get them. She didn’t invent the freaking internet. Yeah, she’s a blogger, yeah she’s a mom, a person and is “popular.”

But, for the record, last time I checked she did not invent Photos, Poop, Constipation, Babies, Birth, Pregnancy, “About me” pages and templates.

I’m glad she has plenty of fans and I only wish the best for her and her family. However, emailing links to my posts to people because “OMG IS SHE TALKING ABOUT DOOCE?” is so freaking pathetic.

Here’s a hint, I’m not.

I have probably upset the balance of the blogworld by what I’ve written, but OH WELL. I know of people who are actually SCARED of some of her more rabid fans. Scared because they have seen how they act.

If you’re feeling particulary rabid today, I have one piece of advice for you. It is just the Internet. Step away from the computer.

PS: One time, in high school, one of my friends got nominated for Homecoming Queen. Since she didn’t have a date, I made her “mum” for her. I could have kissed her ass because she was now “popular,” but decided to let her know I was just her old friend, SJ. Instead of putting a whistle or a bow on the mum, I put a very big, very fake, very plastic hot dog.


  1. OMG FIRST COMMENT?????????????????

    Comment by Paige — 6/28/2005 @ 2:41 pm

  2. No no, you love the crazies! Not the popularity! Crazies are funny!

    I was a little shocked that the last post brought out more than 150 commenters? Hot damn, who knew people cared so much about other people’s pen!ses?

    Comment by halloweenlover — 6/28/2005 @ 2:42 pm

  3. You know I love you whether I comment or not. And, for what it’s worth, I think you are pretty cool.
    : - )

    Comment by Kate — 6/28/2005 @ 2:44 pm

  4. ^ Hope that made you laugh: I was just remembering when Dooce [I always avoid saying Heather just because it makes me feel very Single-White-Female-Ish] had comments open on her photos. Twenty “omg first comment?"s and then a bunch of struggling to compliment her.

    I’d normally follow that up with something like “Not that there’s anything wrong with that", but in this case, I think there is something wrong with that when people get so fucking rabid and out of control they lose sight of what the point of all this is: women writing about their life. Period. I wonder if these people would commit suicide if they knew that there are constipated women blogging on the Interweb RIGHT NOW, totally unaware that a person named Heather Armstrong exists at all.

    So yeah, if I sound like an ass-kisser, so be it, but you just said a lot of stuff that I really agree with, so THERE, SJ!

    Comment by Paige — 6/28/2005 @ 2:45 pm

  5. Wow, people are weird about blogs then. I didn’t know that there were a bunch of rules I must follow just because I bitch about my life in an online journal. Oh well. I was never one to follow rules. Sounds like you don’t either, SJ. ;-) (Ooh, that might be taken as kissing your ass. Guess I’d better watch my back.)

    As for hot topics about babies….I was medicated in labor, I breastfed until he sucked me dry, AND I use disposable diapers. And you know what? My baby isn’t a mutant. HA!

    Comment by Jessica — 6/28/2005 @ 2:53 pm

  6. The internet is full of special people and they all like to show how special they are on your blog heehee. It’s fun to watch the drama, like a soap opera on the net.

    Makes me glad I’m not popular and that you don’t link to me–if some of these wingnuts found me, I’d never have a moment’s peace!


    Comment by Demented Michelle — 6/28/2005 @ 3:04 pm

  7. The whole “Dooce wannabe” thing amazes me. You have children, you both got fired, you talk about poop. Wow, that only includes half the free fucking world. I’ve been fired (though not for something cool like blogging), I’ve got kids, my daughter is constipated from time to time. I don’t want to be Dooce, or you, or anyone but me. (Well, that’s not true, I want to be my friend Cori) Anyway, I hate that you have such asshat trolls, I want to beat them up for you, cuz you seem like a cool person, and I love your blog.

    Comment by Crystal — 6/28/2005 @ 3:14 pm

  8. Heh, I totally thought you were joking about the “mum” till I clicked on the link. WTF? I thought those were only for funerals. Can you tell I didn’t really pay attention to homecoming? I was probably too stoned.

    Comment by MollieBee — 6/28/2005 @ 3:19 pm

  9. who the fuck is Dooce?

    Comment by Robotnik — 6/28/2005 @ 4:09 pm

  10. Ahhh mums…how I miss thee. I think that it is mainly a regional/southern thing (Texas). My co-worker from the NY area had know I idea what I was talking about when I mentioned High School life. You weren’t cool unless your mum was the size of your head, dragged down all the way to the floor, had really annoying bells on it, and ripped your shirt from it weighing 50 pounds.

    Comment by Stacy — 6/28/2005 @ 4:10 pm

  11. I also didn’t know what the hell you were talking about until I clicked the link. We don’t do those up here in PA.

    Comment by Priscilla — 6/28/2005 @ 4:11 pm

  12. First? Top 10? Damn, maybe tomorrow I can be first. Or at least in the top 10. Oh, you’re so wonderful SJ. Can I be your kids’ internet godmother? I’ll send you things that I make and you can post pictures of them on your site and then put a link to me so everyone else with a blog will link to me even though my blog is stupid and they’ll never read it. They’ll just feel cool for having my link. Then I’ll make people donate to my site or buy me things in exchange for a link to them. How cool would that be?

    Who’s dooce?

    Funny thing - I actually DID receive two emails asking why I delinked her. And! I once got an email telling me that I copy her because I have a “photo of the week” on my site. Not to be confused with her daily photo. Um, I have a kick ass camera and I like to take pictures with it. As the famous one would say “Suck it!”

    Comment by Heatheranne — 6/28/2005 @ 4:27 pm

  13. Last weekend I had the opportunity to hang out with my 15 year old cousin. She was telling me that she was friends with Lisa two years ago, but then she and Lisa and another girl got in a fight because my cousin told other girls that Lisa had sex, but at the beginning of this year Lisa was her friend again, but then in the middle of the year Lisa was acting queer and my cousin didn’t want to be her friend, then Lisa and her other friend starting being mean to my cousin and my cousin said “Screw all y’all bitches. I’ve got other friends.”

    Seriously, that was exactly how she told into me, but I took out all the places where she digressed to tell me about Lisa’s hair cut or someone’s weight loss.

    My point is high school and the internet are an apt metaphor for each other. It’s a good thing you can always say “Screw all y’all bitches. I’ve got other friends.”

    Comment by some girl — 6/28/2005 @ 4:37 pm

  14. Will you pretty please make me a weiner mum?

    Just make sure it’s circumcised though. I’d hate to drag all that extra foreskin around.

    Comment by debutaunt — 6/28/2005 @ 4:43 pm

  15. DOOCEBAG! (could not resist!) I do not read her…just not my style.
    I am SICK of people giving you a hard time, but so glad you are more than the kindof woman that rises above their heaping on of the shit!
    I LOVE you! (in a non-weird way!)

    Comment by e — 6/28/2005 @ 4:51 pm

  16. Ewww deb! :)
    At my high school (Texas), senior girls wore mums during Homecoming and again during Senior’s Week. The more “popular” a girl supposedly was, the more mums she received. Of course these mums featured the requisite doodads and cow bells. One girl, Michelle, had eight mums by the end of the week! She was referred to as “Moochelle” around campus. Not because of all the cowbells she wore, but because everyone knew she was “giving the milk away for free!”

    Comment by Dee — 6/28/2005 @ 4:58 pm

  17. I think this image shows best the size of these suckers. God bless google images!

    Comment by Stacy — 6/28/2005 @ 4:59 pm

  18. My horrible secret: I DID NOT HAVE A MUM. That is because I didn’t have a date. Shocking that high school boys didn’t “get” SJ.

    It was either that or my moustache. I still shudder when I see mums.

    Comment by Sarcastic Journalist — 6/28/2005 @ 5:02 pm

  19. Ok. I know who dooce is but everything else in this post confused me. Shit, did I have a stroke? Never heard of a mum, didn’t know anything about blog politics or link whoring or anything like that. Did I used to know that stuff and forgot? Why does my right side tingle? Wait, here comes the nurse, I’ll ask her.

    Comment by Em — 6/28/2005 @ 5:12 pm

  20. I have NEVER heard of Mums for homecoming or whatever. We didn’t even have homecoming, and actually I have no idea what it is, a dance?

    Freaking NJ.

    Comment by Tuesdayef — 6/28/2005 @ 5:14 pm

  21. I’ve always wondered about bloggy politics. It seems like a lot of people reference these unwritten rules, but I don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. I’m really enjoying reading about your pregnancy, you’re due about 3 weeks after me so I can totally relate.

    Anyway, blog on.

    Comment by Kat — 6/28/2005 @ 5:14 pm

  22. First and foremost…YOU GO GIRL!!!

    Next, we did have mums at my end of PA, but they were just mums with a small bow, and maybe a tiny football in the middle.

    Why are people trying to stir up shit? I happen to read you AND Dooce daily. I think you are both great!

    That’s my 2 cents worth.


    Comment by Dianna — 6/28/2005 @ 5:20 pm

  23. I thought you all were messing about the other day, then I just went and read the comments (I may have skimmed a couple). WOW. That’s all I’ve got for you. WOW.

    Comment by some girl — 6/28/2005 @ 5:20 pm

  24. I blogrolled you.. does that mean I am a kiss ass? Truly, I am not. I am just pathetic :)

    Comment by Jack\\\’s Raging Mommy — 6/28/2005 @ 5:23 pm

  25. Thank you for that entry! I was thinking the same thing most of the day today.

    Mums, mums, mums! My sister went to every dang dance and got a corsage or mum for every one. Always bigger and longer then she was. Dragging the floor and she would wear those crazy things with pride. Her boyfriend was one of the richest kids in town and wow did he go overboard with those things.
    Ever seen the Cheers show where Cliff goes out with Diane to some lodge dance with Carla and some hippy-fied mumbling man? Remeber that corsage he bought for her? That had nothing on what my sister got one year. I had to ask her after they started to get bigger and bigger each time if each flower on those things was one for each time he scored with her. OK well that didn’t go over well. She might have been shorter then me by a foot. But, holy cow! That girl sliced her long nails thru my bare back that day I have scars till this day! Never upset a little spit-fire. Sheesh!
    I never went to any dance, get together other then the football games and a few other sports attractions. And I want to thank all the angels above for sparing my mum & corsage hating arse for never placing me into a situation of having to wear one of those things all night long. *thums-up to all those angels out there!*
    Why you have dibs on being my favorite blogger. You speak your mind and give a rats ass what the net thinks about it. Your entry lifted my spirits today. Thanks again.

    Comment by Tracy — 6/28/2005 @ 5:24 pm

  26. Yup, you don’t give a rats ass. You know I meant that, didn’t you? O.o
    I don’t get much sleep (going on 2 hours in 27 hours) so pardon the completely crummy typing and lack of word completing my sentances tonight.
    I’m past sleepy. :D

    Comment by Tracy — 6/28/2005 @ 5:35 pm

  27. Long time lurker, first time poster….I have had it with everyone on the interweb saying that every sarcastic woman (who sometimes uses all-caps for emphasis) that posts photos and talks about poop is trying to be Dooce. I, too, read you both and SJ, I must say, you are way more my style. Keep up the good work and penis talk. Booya.

    Comment by Lili — 6/28/2005 @ 5:36 pm

  28. Imagine that. Two women, both have been pregnant, both have daughters, both have husbands, and both have been fired from their jobs over a blog. Of course there are going to be similarities. I don’t understand why people care so much. Can someone explain to me blog rules? I have a blog, but I won’t share it. I am scared of people comming and commenting, lol.

    Comment by JH8 — 6/28/2005 @ 5:46 pm

  29. WE know she aint cuttin her kids dick off cause she is smarter! no bones about it! it aint a choice of a family! it aint THERE dick!

    Comment by Tom — 6/28/2005 @ 5:47 pm

  30. Wow, I hope you are not referring to the comment I made the other day. (#122 in the snip post)
    I was just referring to the fact that you were having troll issues like dooce.

    You are an original and I’m sorry if I insulted you in any way.

    Comment by Torrie — 6/28/2005 @ 5:48 pm

  31. I read both you and Dooce almost daily but rarely comment. But i have to say, once you’ve read both blogs you can definitely see differences in the two of you. You both are hilariously funny and can blog about things that most don’t dare talk about even with good friends, but that’s where the similarities end, if you ask me. I enjoy you BOTH! I think people who say that spend about 5 seconds scanning your blogs and never really read them.

    I only link blogs when I feel like I’m really reading them every day and connecting with them on lots of different levels…and even then I just put a few of my latest favs. But, I’m always flattered when people link me. I hope that doesn’t make me a link whore!

    Keep on bloggin,’ SJ!

    Comment by Seriously Steph. — 6/28/2005 @ 6:04 pm

  32. SJ - I have you all figured out. Don’t deny it. You’re really dooce and you like to keep two blogs just for attention. That’s why people see so many similarities. Also, you’re name isn’t really “Heather Armstrong” it’s Cindy and you live in Ohio. I saw you at the pool the other day.

    Comment by Heatheranne — 6/28/2005 @ 6:20 pm

  33. Preach it.
    People can fuck off.

    Comment by Citizen Mom — 6/28/2005 @ 6:31 pm

  34. seriously…who the fuck is Dooce? Dooce-bag? Il Dooce? Who?

    Comment by Robotnik — 6/28/2005 @ 6:34 pm

  35. hmm, I have you and dooce on my link list. I also have the other blogs I read every day…I thought that’s what the link list was for. Now that I know it’s a popularity thing, I better delete all the “uncools” from it. What a bunch of crap.
    I think you’re cool and that’s not just me kissing your ass.

    Comment by christina — 6/28/2005 @ 6:39 pm

  36. i confess that i love it when people link me. but nobody really does, so i guess i don’t need to worry about it. ;-)

    i do hate that people get all stupid with other people (i mean you), but i love reading how you are able to deal with it anyway. you go, girl.

    Comment by rachael — 6/28/2005 @ 6:45 pm

  37. Hello, internet…EVERYONE POOPS. Leave SJ alone, she rocks.

    Comment by Corrie — 6/28/2005 @ 7:00 pm

  38. I’d totally be your whore for a link up. Bring it on….

    Comment by clickmom — 6/28/2005 @ 7:11 pm

  39. Hi SJ,
    Sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve commented…or have I? Damn meds!

    We’ve had this conversation before and I still stand firm on what we talked about. ;)
    You nailed some things on the head here. Good girl.

    Oh, and um…can you also put in there that she didn’t invent the D70? I get my share of ‘dooce wannabe’ emails because I have the same camera.
    I admit, I got the camera because it’s a kick ass camera that took the pictures I wanted it to take…and I know this because her pictures reflect what the camera can do.
    I would have gotten the digital rebel, but I was sold on the D70 because of what I saw.
    NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO BE LIKE HER. Oh wait, I just used all caps…does that make me a wanna be?

    Shit, I can’t win. OH GOD, I JUST TALKED ABOUT POOP!

    I better stop while I’m ahead.

    Comment by kristine — 6/28/2005 @ 8:31 pm

  40. Arguing on the internet is like….


    Wait, did I read this correctly? People PAY to be on other peoples blogrolls?

    *slips you your monthly cheque* Thanks. :D

    Comment by Stacey — 6/28/2005 @ 9:00 pm

  41. Oh, and what the fuck is a Mum? (besides a flower?)

    Comment by Stacey — 6/28/2005 @ 9:03 pm

  42. I don’t visit Dooce. I don’t find her that great. You, on the other hand, are fun. Now enough sucking up, I’d like to share my “Bobness Rule of 35″ and that is once comments go over 35 you get flamers. It’s like a pack of hyenas in Kenya or wherever (probably not in Missoula Montana!) circling a blowfly infested zebra carcass. Well not a good metaphor but you know what I mean.

    Please blogroll me, I’ll buy you a YEAR’S WORTH OF CLOTH DIAPER SERVICE! not enough huh? how about if I throw in LITTLE AIRPLANE BOTTLES OF LIQUOR OF THE MONTH CLUB!???

    Comment by bob — 6/28/2005 @ 9:08 pm

  43. see i think this is funny because i read both you and dooce (and a hundred other bloggers because i have no life whatsoever) and i always thought it was weird how you both were fired, have babies the same age, have ppd, similar templates and so on…but i always kept it to myself because it makes me sound i have too much time on my hands, reading the lives of people i don’t know and then comparing and contrasting them :)

    Comment by laura — 6/28/2005 @ 9:11 pm

  44. wow, hadn’t heard about link whores or the politics of blogging. I feel almost virginal now ;)

    Comment by mushster — 6/28/2005 @ 9:26 pm

  45. Don’t tell Bob, but I think I love him a little. Just a little. shhhhhhhhh.

    Comment by Y — 6/28/2005 @ 10:01 pm

  46. K…I am new to this blog thing in comparison to most of the people around here…I didn’t know I could get someone to pay me for linking them up on my blogroll…DAMN…another thing I missed out on. LOL. Just for fairness sake, I added you to my blog roll soon after I started blogging cause I found you while checking around blogland and I LOVE your blog. I don’t know who DOOCE is but if it’s not ok that I added you just drop me a line. Keep on bloggin…lovin it!

    Comment by Kris — 6/28/2005 @ 10:11 pm

  47. I love you too Y. “Why?” Yes Y. “But why?” Because she loves me a little. Anyway, I’m the first forty something male with a vasectomy to start his own mommy blog. Please visit sometime! I’m a mommy now too!

    Comment by bob — 6/28/2005 @ 10:31 pm

  48. i love you both.

    and the mum thing freaked my shit out. i have to say, i thought initially you were talking about somebody’s mother. you americans do some weird stuff. :-)

    Comment by jenB — 6/29/2005 @ 12:37 am

  49. Actually, I invented poop.

    Comment by Di — 6/29/2005 @ 8:50 am

  50. Why is a mum so-called? I have a Mum, but she doesn’t look like the pics you linked to.

    Comment by Mellissa — 6/29/2005 @ 10:38 am

  51. Okay, basically a Mum is a big fake flower (or many fake flowers) that you pin ribbons and bells and whistles to. Then you decorate with stickers that say “jennifer” and “jason” and “homecoming 1998″ on them.

    Its done to make all the girls who don’t get invited to homecoming feel like shit for a day.

    Comment by Sarcastic Journalist — 6/29/2005 @ 12:44 pm

  52. EGADS! I am sooo glad we don’t do the mum thing here in NE. Can’t imagine hauling around one of those attached to my dress. I’d never even heard of that before!

    Also, I read you and dooce. While I enjoy both blogs, and admire you both for the things you put out there for everyone to read, to say that you’re trying to “copy” her is ridiculous. You’re different people, who happen to have had similar things happen in your life.

    The internet is reminding me why I skipped my class reunion this year.

    Comment by Jessica — 6/29/2005 @ 12:45 pm

  53. I think I want to lock Zoe in a closet instead of letting her go to any of the dances at her school.

    That mum crap is a load of horseshit. And yes, I did get a couple.

    I’d rather have her spend money on booze or dope like the rest of us did in high school.

    Wait. She isn’t even in kindergarten yet. Nevermind. Maybe by then the mum thing will be passe and they will hang those funeral horseshoes around the date’s neck.

    Comment by debutaunt — 6/29/2005 @ 12:55 pm

  54. God Bless You, woman! Competition in blog world often seems fierce. But it’s a competition for what exactly? Attention? Fame? Riches? Give me a fucking break already! Don’t these people have lives?

    Last I checked, nobody here is curing cancer or solving world hunger. Everyone just needs to get over themselves already.

    Comment by Ninotchka — 6/29/2005 @ 1:08 pm

  55. Just wanted to volunteer as a kiss ass too in support of your great stance…. jeez the internet can over react! all this competition is insane- as said above everyone needs to get over themselves

    though “mum"….. thats was ultra confusing for this english chick as we use “mum” instead of “mom". cue several minutes trying to work out how you would be able to make you friend’s mum……

    Comment by Keira — 6/30/2005 @ 4:52 am

  56. I live in the midwest. We didn’t snip. We are not hard core about it, but couldn’t face cutting on our sweet new infant. We have no regrets. Dad and son don’t “match.” I was glad that in the early days when so much is new I didn’t have to deal with any special diapering problems. We have friends whose sons have had to be redone due to errors in the snipage. Ouch.

    Comment by Rayne of Terror — 7/2/2005 @ 12:35 pm

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