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Bits of Tid

1. A lady in a childcare center told me today that my child is very “self-sufficient.” They also said she “talks” a lot, which is cool because, man she’s my child.
2. A big fat “Ha! She’s self sufficient” to all the people who said I held my child too much.
3. My husband should really learn to appreciate the fact that I call him at work and say “I’ll tell you a secret if you can tell me what the ’show me state’ is.”
4. If you think you’ve locked your keys in the car while you’re out in public, it is a good idea to check the side pocket of the diaper bag before you call your husband at work and yell at him because he says he needs to stay for 30 more minutes. Because, man, you’ll feel really stupid after waiting 45 minutes only to have them fall out of the bag.
5. My guy friend really needs to learn how funny it is to tell him I’ll be waiting at my house for him, naked. Especially when I replace the “I” with “we.”
6. Did you know that Y brings a camera to the bathroom with her so she can photograph herself taking a dump?

9 Responses to “Bits of Tid”

  1. Shalini
    June 9th, 2005 17:32
    1

    #4…., and then when you discover said keys… just quietly put them back in the diaper bag… and don’t say a peep to the hubs.. and then let him take you out to dinner because he had to “stay 30 extra minutes”… in this HEAT?

  2. Heatheranne
    June 9th, 2005 17:42
    2

    I LOVE Y’s blog. And about the keys…At least you weren’t HOLDING THEM IN YOUR HAND.

  3. debu_gooberette
    June 9th, 2005 18:21
    3

    SJ. I’ve been sick with the dookies. I miss you, by the way.

    I have been busy fighting off freak stalkers. I even posted their pictures this time.

    be well and squeeze that self sufficient child for me.

  4. Alexandrialeigh
    June 9th, 2005 18:40
    4

    Missouri!! Missouri’s the “show me” state. Right?

    I have no idea how I knew that (if it’s even right), or what the hell that even means. Show me what?

  5. bob
    June 10th, 2005 07:29
    5

    I spend a lot of time in airport restrooms. I travel a lot, that’s why. Anyway, I cannot believe the accelerating trend of what I call “poop talkers” Those people who are so frickin locked into their sad little cellphone worlds they have to keep a convo going while pinching a loaf. I’ve never heard so many people talking to themselves while shitting since I worked in a state hospital when I was a young man. But that’s another story. For another day!

  6. Angie
    June 10th, 2005 12:34
    6

    I lived the first 23 years of my life in Missouri, and I still don’t understand the motto “Show me State”.

  7. Sarcastic Journalist
    June 10th, 2005 12:38
    7

    Luckily, I “lost” my keys at a place with AC. And childcare. In fact, it was probably the best place to “lose” my keys.

  8. Y
    June 10th, 2005 13:25
    8

    Yeah, I like how you “conveniently” left out the fact that you’re always calling my house, leaving creepy messages asking me to “take one of me pushing” for you. You’re all “Yvooooone, I know you’re there, and I know you’re taking a dump, snap one for me because I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”

    TELL THEM ABOUT THAT!

  9. Sarcastic Journalist
    June 10th, 2005 13:34
    9

    What? What? You want me to publish your home phone number on the Internet??

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