Second Wind

I ran cross-country in high school. Not like cross-country from New York to LA but cross-country/track. XC.

I had some very few and far between moments when I really wasn’t that bad at running. This usually happened in the off season, where I’d amaze myself and my teammates at just how fast those legs could go.

Then I’d fall down and break my leg so I’d have to spend the next several months “aqua jogging” in a pool.

During those few moments of pure running genius, I’d get what runners call the “second wind.” You know, when, halfway during a run, when you feel there is NO way you can go on any longer, when you feel ready to hack up a lung and impail yourself on the nearest tree branch, you’d get it. (BTW, how’s that for a long sentence? Ha! I’m pregnant! I can do what I want!)

The second wind. All of a sudden, you were ready to keep on running, bypassing teenage jerkos throwing bananas at you and dog crap and old ladies who feel the need to walk slowly in the middle of the path.

Before I get to the point where I relate my running experience to motherhood, I have to tell you a horrible story.

It was the summer before my senior year of high school. I was running with several of my friends. We had not made it past the first mile of a five mile run when it hit me: Runners Trots.

I had to crap right then and there. So, I told my friends bye, asking them to lie to our coach and say that I went along with them. I headed to a local Catholic church to do my duty in their restroom. I figured that if I really stunk the place up, I’d drop a few dollars in the collection or bring some cookies by for the nuns. The church was locked. Exploding was seeming more and more likely at this point. So, I ran about 3/4 of a mile to the guys’ cross-country coach’s house. He wasn’t there, but the door was open.

I snuck into this guy’s house, while he was out on a run, and took one of the most massive dumps on the face of the Earth in his restroom. I went to the guest room because he had a picture of his wife, in her wedding dress, sitting on a toilet in his potty. This picture was almost life size and I couldn’t possibly crap while staring at her.

After I finished, I pulled up my shorts and left. I am not sure if he came home to have his entire house smelling of poop. I mean, seriously, what if he was like “What’s that smell?” and couldn’t figure out why the smell was there? I wonder if he thought he had a ghost with a bad belly?

Anyway, so, the second wind. I guess that’s what I’m hoping for with all of this baby thing. You know, like, “Ha! I did this once! I can totally do it again!”

I’ll change her diapers without wondering why she’s crying for so long!
I’ll be a picture of calmness in labor. (Yeah, right.)
I’m not going to break down and cry for the final trimester and I’m NOT going to give in to be induced. (Again, another yeah right.)

Okay. Seriously. I’ll hopefully be able to find maternity clothes that I like as I’ve done this once before. I’ll know not to go cold turkey off the crazy meds (I’m going to stay on them this time, thankyouverymuch) and I know what worked with my hypermesis last time.

Luckily, I feel great right now. No vomiting.

So, now I must answer everyone’s questions:

Yes, Yes, No, Maybe, Very funny, No, No, Missionary and Only on Tuesdays.

16 Comments

  1. I loved cross country. We hopped on a train once during our LSD run, 15 miles. Took us right back to school!

    I know, we were slackers, but we made it to state that year…

    Comment by Ty — 5/30/2005 @ 7:37 pm

  2. I wanna know what the question was for “missionary, and only on Tuesdays” was. ;)

    Comment by Stacey — 5/30/2005 @ 7:52 pm

  3. At least you didn’t get behind banana-throwing slow-movin old ladies with runners trots: that’s just ugly.

    Comment by MunchkinMama — 5/30/2005 @ 7:56 pm

  4. hey…mr. hubs bubs can always just take a piss on you if needed!

    Comment by ands — 5/30/2005 @ 9:01 pm

  5. Oh how I know the RT’s ALL TOO WELL I got them so bad once on a 16-miler I thought I might die Seriously it was bad. Nothing worse than going in a port-a-potty and only having like 1/2 a papertowel to wipe with. Lord help me. And yeah, I think the second time around is a lot easier in a lot ways and harder too. But it’s ALL GOOD, I promise. :)

    Comment by Ninotchka — 5/30/2005 @ 9:19 pm

  6. That’s a great story. I would have gotten caught if I’d sneaked into someone’s house to take a dump. You got lucky that time.

    Congratulations on the pregnancy!

    Comment by Vanessa_AR — 5/30/2005 @ 10:15 pm

  7. I had hyperemesis with my first pregnancy – and although I had a lot of nausea / vomiting with the second, nowhere near anything that could be considered HG. Here’s hoping you luck out the second time as well! (The maternity clothes have SUCKED this pregnancy though…)

    Comment by robyn — 5/30/2005 @ 11:27 pm

  8. Great story. Congrats on the pregnancy =)

    Comment by ten33girl — 5/31/2005 @ 4:14 am

  9. Congrats on being preggo!

    But…what if it’s a BOY?

    Comment by Alexandrialeigh — 5/31/2005 @ 8:46 am

  10. Here’s to no puking, and as for the missionary? I told my husband to forget it, sex is out until March 2006.

    Comment by Corrie — 5/31/2005 @ 10:09 am

  11. Congrats!

    Comment by Jenn — 5/31/2005 @ 11:25 am

  12. Congrats on the new baby! I hope this pregnancy goes well for you!!

    You’re life is going to be interesting with two rugrats running around! ;o)

    Comment by Fireladie — 5/31/2005 @ 11:37 am

  13. I witness the r trots at the Women’s Olympic Trials years ago in Houston. Poor girl was still runnin with crap all down her legs.

    She didn’t even win.

    You are like Goldilocks. Except with poop.

    Comment by debutaunt — 5/31/2005 @ 12:18 pm

  14. You are so funny!! Well my first pregnancy was a breeze, even the labor. The second one, uh, not so much. I won’t go into all the morbid details but I had my appendix taken out when I was eight months pregnant. The demerol was nice though. Anyway, everyone is different. Congratulations!!! That’s awesome!!
    btw, I linked you on my site. hope you don’t mind. had to tell everyone about you…

    Comment by melanie — 5/31/2005 @ 12:33 pm

  15. Congrats to you! I’ve got two myself, and it’s incredible to see your baby become a big sister when you bring home the newborn– good luck to all of you.

    Comment by amy — 5/31/2005 @ 12:48 pm

  16. yes, I’d like to know what Ty meant by “LSD run.” I did a lot of stuff in high school (including LSD and running) but never heard of this. Also, did I tell you that my sister crapped her pants while she was running through HIGHLAND PARK? hehehehe (that’s Dallas’ River Oaks, btw). It was awesome. Congrats on pg #2 - it *has* to be a smoother ride, right?!? And kudos for staying on the crazy meds - I highly recommend it :)

    Comment by perl — 5/31/2005 @ 2:16 pm

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