You never stop learning!

Things my husband told me/things I heard after his colonoscopy this morning:*

1. He believed that the doctor that preformed the procedure “uppercut (him) in the gut.”
2. He thinks he shoots zombies while at work.**
3. He dedicated all of his farts (due to all the gas pumped into him) to his “homies.”
4. “SJ” in “The Whitelands” is considered one of his “homies.”
5. Another good way to intro into a fart is to say “fire in the hole.”
6. He had a password I had to say before he would get up. The password was “eroded placenta.”

Watching him come off the meds was worth sitting in the world’s coldest waiting room for two hours. I laughed so hard, I had tears rolling down my face. He is “fine,” it just seems that “his stuff” had stopped working. He’ll be on meds for awhile to get things back in gear.

Secretly, I was kind of jealous because man, waking up from anesthesia is so much fun.

*And totally made up for the fact that he was Grumpy McGrumpybutt on the way there.
**He doesn’t actually shoot zombies. He’s a very good worker. He went to work today after having a tube up the butt.

11 Responses to “You never stop learning!”

  1. Priscilla
    May 24th, 2005 13:57

    Oh that is hilarious!! My husband has said some funny stuff while sleeping but nothing as funny as your hubby coming off the meds!!! Thanks for the laugh!!

  2. MollieBee
    May 24th, 2005 14:00

    omg, that’s funny…When I had my teeth out i’m sure I said all sorts of crazy shit. General Anesthesia is kinda fun, I get to have it again in 2 weeks! Homie. LOL

  3. Susan
    May 24th, 2005 14:18

    Anethesia is awesome… I got my wisdom teeth taken out and when I woke up from it, the nurses said I was sign languaging them “I did it. I did it.” … but I got my d’s mixed up with my b’s, so it came out “I bib it. I bib it.” Anywayz, meh.

  4. Ninotchka
    May 24th, 2005 14:38

    Damn! He went to work? After that? I could barely walk straight after I had mine many moons ago. YOUCH. (The gas is what’s most bothersome) Hope he feels better! I’m glad all is OK. :)

  5. ANDS
    May 24th, 2005 15:08


    Editor’s Note: If ANDS would send SJ the pictures that need to be sent, perhaps she wouldn’t miss all the good stuff. The Internet wants to see these pictures, ANDS. The internet wants to know the secret (yes it is secret) that goes along with the pictures.

  6. bari
    May 24th, 2005 15:25

    When I had my wisdom teeth pulled I went under hysterical and woke up calm. My friend thought I was an idiot. She went under calmly (oh but of course), but woke up a stark raving mad hysterically crying lunatic. HA!

    I am so glad you opened up your comments section. It’s been driving me crazy not being able to comment! LOL

  7. kenny
    May 24th, 2005 15:51

    You are killing me! I’m so glad I found this site. When I need a giggle or a chuckle I now have a place to go. This is why I refuse to ever be put under…all my secrets will be spilt!
    Thank you!!!

  8. Corrie
    May 24th, 2005 16:09

    That was the best, you really made me laugh.

  9. debutaunt
    May 25th, 2005 10:36

    That entry made my butt twitch.

  10. Aubrie
    May 25th, 2005 20:41

    I’ve been lurking for awhile, Dylan sent me over here to read you. I just had to say, when my boyfriend had an endoscopy, I got to watch him come out from the anesthesia — the best part: he hit on an incredible looking nurse by pulling the “How you doin’?” line a la Joey (from friends). Hysterical!

  11. Q
    May 30th, 2005 16:53

    Hey! Another lurker finally commenting… love your blog muchly, and this entry is only part of the reason why… LOL… though it brought back painful and embarrassing memories of my very own colonoscopy. How could he stand going to work afterwards? My stomach was so filled with gas that it looked like I swallowed a whole watermelon, and as I walked (yes, walked!) home from the doctor, I think I farted with every single step that I took and couldn’t help it try as I may, and I wanted for a hole to open up right in front of me and swallow me instantly, I was so embarrassed… LOL!

    I wasn’t so lucky as to be under anesthesia though… I had it done fully conscious, and I was even watching the windings of my interior over a monitor… NASTY feeling I tell ya… NASTY.

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