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If you sprinkle when you tinkle…

While out to eat for the husband’s birthday dinner, I had to go “potty.” (Note: I didn’t have to take a “leak.” I’m such a Mom.) Being the type of person who doesn’t wet herself at the dinner table, I get up to go to the bathroom.

I bypass the first stall, even though I normally go in the first one. I walk to the second stall and see this:

I quickly walk past to the third stall and find this:

Who the heck drips period blood all over a toilet seat and LEAVES IT? Who pinches a loaf into a public toilet, wipes once and walks out? It seems to me that if you were unable to flush the toilet, you’d at least try and cover it with wads of toilet paper.

But no. It was as if this person was proud of her log. Look! I go poop like big girl!

Was she sitting there, when the thought came to mind? “I’ll finish dumping and then…I WON’T FLUSH!”

I’ll admit it, we aren’t mature. We played hangman with words like “dickweed” and “crabs.” But we didn’t go poo in public.

Because there are several rules to pooing in public. Number one? Courtsey flush. Number two? The “I’m in here” cough. Number three?

YOU FREAKING FLUSH.

15 Responses to “If you sprinkle when you tinkle…”

  1. Psycho Kitty
    February 1st, 2005 00:06
    1

    Ewwwwww.

  2. debutaunt
    February 1st, 2005 00:54
    2

    Ok, I laughed so hard you made me wake up the kid.

    That’s nasty! We have a chick at work that is Ms. Laxitive 2005. There’s always diarrhea everywhere. How do you shit on a wall?

  3. Wendi
    February 1st, 2005 01:22
    3

    Sadly, you hope these are things you would only find in MENS restrooms….but, there are GROSS women out there too…. *sigh*

    And I thought ALL women were more advanced!!!

  4. angie
    February 1st, 2005 01:33
    4

    People are so gross.

    However, was the log so massive it wouldn’t flush? I mean, if I pooped the King Kong of poops, and it WOULD NOT go down, I would haul my ass out of there as fast as possible (after washing the hands!)

    Really - I’d rather give it a couple good flushes and flee than make it a Man Overboard situation.

    Poop belongs in a toilet WAY more than it belongs on the floor.

    The blood though? There’s just no excuse for that.

  5. Lujza
    February 1st, 2005 02:19
    5

    I can’t believe you actually go around photographing pictures of toilets….that’s just hilarious!

  6. Bree
    February 1st, 2005 02:32
    6

    that is just wrong. but sadly you see that crap in our public bathrooms. I try not to go if we are out. I will hold it. haha I think they all need to learn this song, I sang it to my toddler who is potty training.. http://www.overtherhine.com/music/mp3rarity/Poopsmith.mp3

    I think its fitting for Ms Laxitive 2005 in the above comment..haha

  7. KB
    February 1st, 2005 03:44
    7

    OK that cracked me the F%$k up!

  8. Steph :)
    February 1st, 2005 08:20
    8

    Tragically funny :) have you noticed that everyone woman you speak with is appalled by the disgusting state of the ladies room? then who is the culprit? you never speak with someone who agrees that leaving unflushed poo and dried blood is a staunch political statement. . .

  9. Tuesdayef
    February 1st, 2005 09:09
    9

    Sadly I too have been in such situations. Women are worse then men sometimes.
    For the record, the first stall is known to be the cleanest. HTH

  10. lesley
    February 1st, 2005 10:40
    10

    this same thing just happened to me at costco. i took 2 of my little girls to go potty and yowza-2 of the stalls were unflushed. i just didn’t know poop that HUGE was possible. i came out to report the size of the log to my husband because i couldn’t believe it came out of a human. i held my hands for display and all, then when i couldn’t convey my point of how GIANT it was, i resorted to props. all i could think about though, is that the person who did that SUPERPOOP was WALKING around costco probably still with POOP on their hands. i agree, please FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH!!!

    ps. i love stories about poop!

  11. Priscilla
    February 1st, 2005 11:54
    11

    This made me laugh because we’ve all seen it, unflushed toilets and the poo on the floor, wall, etc. It’s disgusting but even more gross is the fact that there are so many people that go and never wash their hands! I look after them in amazement when they walk out without washing. Hygiene people, hygiene! And FLUSH!!

  12. Brook
    February 1st, 2005 12:34
    12

    I think the hover method is the cause of drippy messes! And as far as the women who leave unflushed logs, I think they’re just so proud of it that it’s show & tell time for them. Maybe they were raised by monkeys. Or maybe they pooped in the playground when they were a kid.

  13. Kristin
    February 1st, 2005 12:55
    13

    Reminds me of an incident in my college dorm, where we shared a joint bathroom. Poop on the floor and the walls.

  14. Texas T-bone
    February 1st, 2005 13:32
    14

    Maybe the no-flush lady pooper was on the phone with the Guiness Record people or something. If your faux log is any indication, she’s gonna bruise after that one!

  15. backgammon
    April 4th, 2005 22:37
    15

    backgammon
    Whenever morality is based on theology, whenever right is made dependent on divine authority, the most immoral, unjust, infamous things can be justified and established. by

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