Here in the real world, it’s not that easy at all….

Dear Grandma,

Hi! How are you? I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to call you for awhile, but I’ve been really busy. I recently moved in with six other “strangers” into this really cool house. It used to be an orphanage, but they kicked out all the orphans and put in a sweet hot tub and some funky rooms!

I didn’t know these people before hand, so we call ourself the “seven strangers.” We all even have jobs together! We work in Hollywood, at a movie company, as interns. We get paid a lot of money to do nothing though I’m not happy with my job. Grandma, I totally should have been the lead actress in this movie but instead they made me get Brad Pitt’s coffee. How embarrassing!

It’s really hard being around your roommates all the time, especially when things are so tense. There’s this black dude and he’s all “I’m black” and we’re not sure what to do about him. And the gay guy? Woah. He’s gay! And he’s proud of it, but we all think he’s hot and I think he’s confused sexually.

Of course, there’s the innocent virgin and the skinny girl and the frat guy. That leaves me. I’m the girl with the implants that likes to make out with other people. Someone told me they cast me as the slut. Grandma, that’s totally not true! I only made out with 89 guys and I’ve only slept with 67 of them and only 17 of them involved anal.

17, grandma! That’s it! And I haven’t even kissed another girl in three weeks. I’m practically a virgin.

I’m having a lot of fun in my new house. We’re only here for two more months and then I’m going to move to LA, where I’ll persue my dream of being an actress. I’m totally serious, grandma. I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I can always go back to college to become an engineer, but these implants are only good for so long! I know I totally have a chance of becoming a serious actress.

Anyway, I’m writing you to give you a head’s up on something bad. One time, I got in a fight on the show. I mean, with a roommate’s friend. And I totally kicked this girl’s butt, grandma. But? I called her a “bitch.” It was totally wrong and I’m sorry. I just wanted to let you know because I don’t want to let you down and have you be shocked by my language.

In case you’re wondering what episode it is, it is the one where I get my nipples pierced. My roommate, Thad, held the clamp. Isn’t he nice?

Okay, I’ll talk soon! Tell Grandpa I said ‘hi!”

Love and kisses,

8 Responses to “Here in the real world, it’s not that easy at all….”

  1. LX Robotnik
    January 29th, 2005 17:14

    Ok…WTF is this? I don’t get it.

  2. MollieBee
    January 29th, 2005 19:05

    SJ, are you watching Real World? That shit will kill your brain, homie.

    Sarah sucks!

  3. Corrie
    January 29th, 2005 22:08

    MTV ruined my brain…don’t let it happen to you. Lay off that shit man, it’s addictive. Sarah from Real World is a skank and Tina from Road Rules is skankier.

  4. kelly
    January 29th, 2005 22:30

    I just read through several entries of your blog, and I really enjoyed it. I will link you over on my blog and be back soon. hope you don’t mind :)

    smiles and kisses for the baby

  5. brilly
    January 30th, 2005 02:30

    I have no idea what you are talking about but I like the new layout.

  6. Psycho Kitty
    January 30th, 2005 15:31

    Ok, thank you, I needed a good guffaw. I owe you several…

  7. frozenmojo
    February 1st, 2005 19:58

    i stopped watching real world about 9 years ago, but it’s amazing how little things have changed.

    nice characterization! ;-) they ALWAYS have a girl just like this on each show - it’s amazing!

  8. backgammon sets
    April 4th, 2005 22:35

    backgammon sets
    In the strict sense of the term, a true democracy has never existed, and will never exist. It is against natural order that the great number should govern and that the few should be governed. by

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