Isn’t she lovely?

One Act Play, by Ellie and SJ.


Living room. Smallish apartment. One wall is painted red, television blaring out of armoire.

Ellie: I hate you. You smell like poop.
SJ: You go poop? Do I need to change your diaper?
Ellie: No!! You are stupid! Waah! You smell like poop and I hate you.
SJ: So no poop? Do you want a bottle?
Ellie: No! No bottle you idiot! I want a new mommy!
SJ: We should watch Dr. Phil. Be glad you’re not that little adopted boy and that you have a mommy who loves you.
Ellie: Waaah! Waaaah!
SJ: You want to play?
Ellie: (SCREAMING) AhhhhhIHateYou!!
SJ: You should sit in your walker. Walkers are fun!
Ellie: Give me crepe paper! I want crepe paper!
SJ: Uhhh-
Ellie: now. woman. now.
SJ: Fish toy?
SJ: Look! Oprah is on! Mama has a lifelong goal of getting on to the Oprah show. Did you know that?
Ellie: That lady has poop on her floor. She smells like you.

6 Responses to “Isn’t she lovely?”

  1. christian
    January 28th, 2005 20:48

    have you mailed the goodies yet?

  2. MollieBee
    January 28th, 2005 21:15

    Sounds like Ellie’s PMSing.

  3. some girl
    January 28th, 2005 23:10

    Okay then…… :)

    Were you freaking out at that lady’s house on Oprah? OMG

  4. Auty
    January 29th, 2005 00:18

    Hey. I keep a smelly candle burning on the kitchen stove at all times. It helps to mask the smell of poop that hangs over the house like a mist.

  5. LX Robotnik
    January 29th, 2005 07:45

    MollieBee…sounds like Ellie is acting as she’s supposed to. She’s a 6 1/2 month old baby. That’s what they do.

  6. rules for backgammon
    April 4th, 2005 22:35

    rules for backgammon
    I think that in no country in the civilized world is less attention paid to philosophy than in the United States. The Americans have no philosophical school of their own, and they care but little for

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