Please forgive this post as I have become stupid.

For some reason, I watch this kids’ tv show called Zoom every afternoon. Zoom comes on between Sit and Be Fit and Dr. Phil, meaning that I’m pretty desperate for background noise at this time.

There is one section of the show called Fannee Doolee. That is the most stupid name ever. Anyway, Fannee Doolee only likes things with double letters in the name, such as books but not words.

Get it?

So I’m sitting here and I feel the need to play my own Fannee Doolee game.

Fannee Doolee likes:
boobs but not dicks
cooters but not wangs
ass but not rumps.

Somehow, I feel as if my intelligence might get restored if I turn this horrible show into something dirty. I think its kind of like people turning “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” into a drinking game.

In fact, I’m still watching the show. They’re speaking something worse than pig latin, called Ubbi Dubbi. Sounds more like a city in Saudi Arabia than a stupid pre-teen language to me.

17 Responses to “Please forgive this post as I have become stupid.”

  1. Muppet
    January 28th, 2005 16:29

    I was channel-flipping last week and came across the kids speaking in Ubbi Dubbi. It made me feel almost angry for some reason.

  2. Badger
    January 28th, 2005 16:32

    You are a young’un so you would not remember this, but Zoom was big back in the ’70s as well. Except back then all the Zoom kids wore rugby shirts and painter pants like all the other cool kids. I was actually in the Zoom fan club in like ‘76 or ‘77, because I am just that much of a dork.

  3. janna
    January 28th, 2005 16:32


    but I’ve watched so much of it that I can totally do the language thing.

  4. Christa
    January 28th, 2005 17:38

    Your Fannee Doolee game reminds me of the SATs for some reason. Is that bad? lol Yeah, there’s a reason we don’t have cable at home anymore. To RESTORE my (last shreds of) sanity.

  5. Antonia
    January 28th, 2005 18:38

    Man, I love the Ubbi Dubbi. While I was reading this I kept wondering how that language goes again. It’s Ubbi Dubbi. Fucking fantastic!

  6. LX Robotnik
    January 28th, 2005 20:07

    What in the feck are you all talking about? Antonia, SJ…what the feck???!!!! Ubbi Dubbi? Jaysus…

  7. Jenny
    January 28th, 2005 21:39

    Sadly this summer, while I was camping with the kids, I was doing the whole Fannee Doolee thing with my kids. My son, who’s seven, thinks FD is a real live person and got all freaked out about how I knew so much about her, like I knew a superstar or something. He was all “How do you know that?!??!” “Who IS she?”. It was the funniest damn thing. Okay, maybe funny only to me, but I’m his mom and too bad.

  8. Kristine
    January 28th, 2005 21:44

    Oh god, my daughter use to watch that. I had forgotten about ZOOMAZOOMZOOM!! ack! I would almost think about letting her watch Mommy Dearest before I would let her watch that show again!
    Good luck you brave soul.

  9. debutaunt
    January 28th, 2005 22:31

    I like Zoom. I’m an old school Zoomster too.

    But I hate that freaking show, “Comfy Couch.” How gross is that to be diggin all kinds of shit out of a cushion? That and that whiney ass Caiou (sp?). I refuse to let my kid watch that. I’m surprised she doesn’t call him pussy boy.

  10. Busy Mom
    January 29th, 2005 00:11

    c’mon and zoom zoom zoom ah zoom…yep, I’m an old schooler, too and my kids watch today.

  11. Auty
    January 29th, 2005 00:19

    We watch Zoom, too! I watched it as a kid, and now I watch it as an adult because it comes on after supper and Sesame Street!



  12. LX Robotnik
    January 29th, 2005 07:47

    OK…I’ll start this. Has anyone tried these Baby Mozart/Baby Beethoven DVDs? We bought two for Gillian and she is absolutely mesmerized. She’ll sit there for the entire half-hour and interact with all the shit on the screen.

    Oh…and very very bizarro…EVERY TIME, and I mean EVERY TIME I put on the Baby Mozart DVD…she poops. I’ve tried it at all times of the day; it never fails. 2 minutes into it, and she’s pushing. WTF??? I’m sure Mozart is ecstatic.

  13. Antonia
    January 29th, 2005 15:02

    LX, Baby Noah over here. Isn’t it fantastic? I don’t know about the pooping thing, though. Maybe she gets so relaxed that she lets it all go. Or maybe she gets so excited and wound up she can’t help herself. That’s hilarious, though. Put it on 30 minutes before you go out, and you’ll never have to worry about what may appear in public.

  14. HER
    January 30th, 2005 01:21

    OMG! Zoom rules!! The only channel my boyfriend gets is PBS, because it’s broadcast by the university that he lives directly next to. Watching it is pretty much all I do when he’s at work. I wish I would have been into it as a kid, though, knowing me, I would have spent my entire viewing time being jealous of The Pretty One.

  15. Hayfever
    January 30th, 2005 01:31

    hey I love that game… I work at a resident camp in the summer, and we play it with the kids, but we call it Green Glass Door. Which reminds me of an adult movie some of the staff watched, called Behind the Green Door. Probably not so great that I connect the two, but what can you do?

  16. Psycho Kitty
    January 30th, 2005 15:29

    Hey, hey, hey now. First Beth and Heather B. are getting hate mail, then PBS tries to lynch Buster, and now everyone’s pissing on my happy memories of watching Zoom when I was 10. Where’s the love, people? Where the hell is the fucking LOVE???

  17. rules of backgammon
    April 4th, 2005 22:35

    rules of backgammon
    It is not he who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting. by backgammon ppc

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