Month One Review

Dear Ellie,

Today you are one month old! That is a longer lifespan than many bugs and new Fox sitcoms! One month ago today, I was lying in a hospital bed, chowing down on hospital food while sporting a bad case of Shenuts. You, my little girl, were just figuring out what it means to live in this crazy world.

It has been one crazy month for us. I’ve had more poop on my hands and feet and legs and pants and I’m pretty sure not all of it was from you. I’ve had to deal with more erratic sleeping patterns and have learned that all the nighttime news programs are pretty informal, that’s why they are on when nobody watches them, except for sleep deprived mamas, who don’t give a rats ass about the situitation in Podunksville, Maryland.

I have watched you turn from my Little Asian Baby to a cute Furby Baby who despenses farts and smiles at random. You also despense some pretty heinous poop, though that seems to be more malicious, I.E. when we are in the middle of a Barnes and Noble on a Saturday night.

We have made great leaps and strides as to now you can lie on the couch by yourself for 3 whole seconds before you start screaming bloody murder. We’re hoping to reach 4 seconds by this time next month.

You’ve tought me about guilt and how guilty I feel when I feed you formula (I’m the Devil!) when you reject my booby because obviously, you don’t like the smell my bra has left on said body part. I sit there, imagining how you would have graduated from Harvard with 2 degrees and a career as a supermodel and now I’ve doomed you to community college and bad skin.

Speaking of boobies, you’ve also gave me a wonderful case of mastitis which is Latin for “Big Red Boobie.”

I really think that we’re getting a hold of this whole baby/mama thing. When I say get a hold, a really mean realize that one day, at one time, you’re gonna stop giving me That Look and realize that I’m your partner in crime and ice cream and that my boobies will shink down because right now they are prime candidates for boob reduction.

Hopefully you inherit my boobs but not to this degree. But then again, perhaps you should. We’ll see how the rest of the day goes before we decide on that one.

So, happy (somewhat) birthday, Elliebear! We love you!

6 Responses to “Month One Review”

  1. hez
    August 12th, 2004 18:48

    Time flies, eh - one month already!

    Mastitis is N-A-S-T-Y. The fever, the chills, the rock hard red boob. I had the good fortune of getting it twice. And trying to breastfeeding, while you’ve got blisters on your nipples, is a bitch. Fortunately, the drugs worked pretty quickly.

  2. Lujza
    August 13th, 2004 03:45

    That was beautiful! And you know what???? I never had a single problem with my boobies (as they were back then) with my first babies…..and then comes along the last one and we’re……on the antibiotics! Go figure!?

  3. Texas T-bone
    August 13th, 2004 13:24

    Wait until she’s 19 months old. Time still flies. Don’t feel guilty about formula � breastmilk is best but she’s gotta eat. Community college for the first couple of years won’t hurt and will cost a lot less.

    I posted this week about a little post-El Chico kiddie vomit incident I’m sure you won’t want to miss.

  4. Busy Mom
    August 13th, 2004 15:10

    Hard to believe! Happy 1-month, Ellie!

  5. propecia
    March 30th, 2005 12:59

    One phantom is more especially crucial than any other today: the shade of Hegel. To drive this phantom back into the night we need a little more light on Marx, or what is the same thing, a little more

  6. free backgammon software
    April 4th, 2005 22:12

    free backgammon software
    Am I to believe in every absurdity? If not, why this one in particular? by play backgammon

  • Etc.

    • www.flickr.com