The big O

It is official. (Why? Because I say so.) Oprah is a cult.

“Golly gee, SJ,” you’re thinking. “Of course Oprah is a cult!!” But I mean, she is so a cult that it makes the Jehovas Witnesses and certain otherreligions look a lot less cultish.

Okay so last night on E’s! The Soup, they said something about Oprah opening some type of “wellness” retreat in Maui, where there is spiritual stuff and weight stuff and reading stuff going on there.

Why in the sam hell would I want to waste my vacation by going to Oprah’s wellness retreat where I can watch OTHER bored housewives wondering if Ms. O will be showing up that day?

Give me Disney and a margarita anyday.

Have you ever noticed how the women in the audience nearly shit their pants with glee when Oprah is talking? I mean, she’s a freaking person. Not a Saint. These women all kiss her ass and jump up and down and masturbate while thinking of the lady and her gift giving days.

So today, some woman had complained about the types of items in the gift shop. We need magnets! We need keychains! We need to be tacky!

So then Oprah struts out all these models wearing Oprah shirts. And a robe. Do I really want to pay $120 for a robe with the word Oprah on it?

Give me a freaking break.

4 Responses to “The big O”

  1. Lily
    August 9th, 2004 18:22

    I think you’re missing the point there. The stuff with her name on it is stuff she sells and the proceeds go to charity, where they’ve done a bunch of cool stuff. Honestly, I find her the ONLY woman in power who I admire these days. Tell me how much Sharon Stone, Jennifer Aniston, or Skanks 1-1000 are giving to charity and bettering other people’s worlds these days? NONE, basically.

  2. Amanda
    August 9th, 2004 19:23

    I just got my directtv hooked back up too (I’m about to kill my husband for watching that History “Wings” Channel too - as if 90% of his brain wasn’t enough for all those useless facts, he has to go and watch more of that shit). But I digress. On some girly channel they put on that Oprah after the show crap. She’s so damned high and mighty these days. And acting like she’s some guru of personal wisdom just because she hangs out with Maya Angelou makes me want to barf.

  3. MsInterpreted
    August 10th, 2004 01:37

    Wooooohoooo! It’s about damn time someone said that!

  4. Tina
    August 10th, 2004 02:30

    For me to shell out $120 dollars, it better come with a bohunk to dry me with rose petals and tell me how beautiful I look - NAKED.

    I do watch Oprah from time to time and understand that proceeds are supposed to go to her Ange! Netw0rk or something, but all that could be bypassed if she just gave 1/4 of her salary to the country. That could feed them all for the next 50 years, I’m sure.

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