Archive for the 'Belly Laughing' Category

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Thursday, January 26th, 2006

As many of you already know, Sam was born on Tuesday, Jan. 24 at 9:50 p.m. Weighed 8 pounds, 6 ounces and was 20 inches long. Came EARLY at 38 weeks and boy I’m happy not to be pregnant anymore.

I just got home so I haven’t read any emails yet, but thanks for all the nice things I saw in the comments.

Edited to add: His first middle name is “Noe” after my grandpa. You pronounce it “No-E.”

Birth Control for the Masses

Sunday, January 15th, 2006

When I was a little girl, I had the notion of having lots and lots of kids. Seven, to be exact. They’d all have names like “Tabitha” and “Candace” and we’d all live happily ever after, just like the family in The Sound of Music– minus the Nazis.

Then I saw “The Miracle of Life” video in 7th grade health class and started making plans to adopt a little herd of children because no way was that stuff going to come out my coochie.

I remember, very distinctly, a lot of green stuff coming out after the baby. I can only hope that I don’t have green stuff in there right now. What is the green stuff? Snot? Ectoplasm? Leftover baby batter?

I …

Why You Don’t Give Your Number Out, Part 100

Thursday, January 12th, 2006

Turns out, Debbie does a lot of things.

You see, she helped come up with the idea of an online baby shower. I scoffed at the idea, saying “Um, no.” But then? That Debbie has my phone number. And she likes to call it. A bunch. So finally, I gave in and said “Fine.”

So, Debbie wants me to put this little message up on my site just the way she wrote it, so I’m doing it for her. Why? Because she dressed my child for me this morning and well, that’s just pretty darn cool and nice of her.

You are Invited to a Blogging Baby Shower!

We are hosting an online baby shower for the Sarcastic Journalist and Little Jizzy. Your …

Embarrassed

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it usually takes a lot to embarrass me. I think it is because I realize a lot of things are out of my control and that we humans are rather flawed and funny.

I’ll admit it, I’m embarrassed. For one thing, I’m embarrassed about my sciatia. Why? Well, for starters, I’m unable to walk. Well, I can walk, but it is very slow, very deliberate and with a very large limp.

The word here is “very.”

Add that to my very large belly and I’m quite the sight in public. I can’t go anywhere. The grocery store? Nope. Besides the fact that it would take two years for me to get a carton of …

Next up, Hangman!

Monday, January 9th, 2006

We like to play a game over here in Chez Sarcastic Journalist. It is kind of like Russian Roulette: It is stupid to play, there’s a good chance you’re going to die and well, nobody wins.

I like to call it “How Ellie will react once Little Jizzy comes along.”

For those not in the know, it is pretty much impossible to guess how a 17/18-month-old child will react to anything. Take going to the dentist, for example. I was sure the dentist would come away with a few missing fingers. Instead, my child laid in her lap, mouth open, and let the dentist clean her teeth.

The entire time I’m like “Who IS this child?”

Then, on another day, people will come over …

Do the meatgrinder!

Sunday, January 8th, 2006

It often surprises me that I’m not down on all fours, begging for this baby to come out. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and by this time with Miss E, I would have shone a flashlight on my crotch while screaming “Go towards the light!” if I thought it would have helped.

The only reason I ever want to go into labor right now is because my back/hip/leg is/are in pain. I’ve mentioned it before and I enjoy mentioning it over and over but basically, I have completely and totally screwed up my sciatic nerve. Before I continue on, that means I am pretty much unable to walk like a normal person. I’m not the type of pregnant woman that waddles. Compared …

everything I learned About Hypnotizing Myself, I learned on the Internet

Wednesday, January 4th, 2006

After weeks of walking around bags and boxes, I finally started to unpack Little Jizzy’s clothes. You see, I peed on a stick and then a rabbit died and all the suns and moons and stars worked together and said “By golly, I think you’re with child!”

Then they told me that child would be born in February. I laughed, because I like to hold in babies for a long time so we all realize that means the baby will come sometime in May.

Even though I don’t believe I’ll have a baby anytime soon, I realize that you know, I have to get things together Just In Case. (For those of you playing along at home, that means I do not …

A Fairy Tale

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006

Once upon a time, in a land very far, far away, I used to be fun.

No, not really. I don’t know if I ever consider myself “fun” because I’m kind of grumpy and I have a lot of opinions and a lot of people don’t think of hanging out with grumpy, opinionated people as “fun.”

That’s why I have a website! I can be as grumpy and opinionated as I want and nobody has to hang out with me except for the people googling “My husband makes me do deep throat.”

Um, hello? Nobody can MAKE you do anything! See? There I go with opinions again.

In case you didn’t know, I once had a kid. Let me tell you, Internet, nothing makes …

Community College Dropout

Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

How did Einstein ever get to be so smart? How did Bill Gates ever make so much money? I mean, if you listen to the “experts” out there, they should be stupid because they weren’t nurtured en utero by their mothers.

What? Your child isn’t listening to an educational CD before she is born? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Don’t you realize that you’re missing important time in teaching your child?

Come on, it is not like they have anything to do in the womb, you know, besides FORMING INTO A HUMAN BEING THAT CAN SURVIVE ON ITS OWN.

No, your baby needs to learn. Think about it: By the time your baby is born, it has missed out on NINE MONTHS …

The One Where She Gains 100 Pounds

Thursday, December 22nd, 2005

I have a confession to make, Internet. I only eat food that has butter in it. I know. I KNOW. I’m the type of person that normally would say “You’re eating WHAT?” and have been known to mutter that some people should change their diets to control some medical issues going on.

But? These people aren’t pregnant. They also aren’t master bakers.

They aren’t master bakers with a large assortment of butters, sugars and chocolate on hand. They don’t have the world’s best recipe book.

I informed The Hubs that we needed to make a trip to the store to “get a few things.” I didn’t really want to tell him what because it’s kind of like a compulsive shopper saying she’s …

Scrotumlicious

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005

Every time we go in for an ultrasound, the person asks us if we are having a boy or girl. “Boy,” we always reply. In fact, I don’t think anyone has ever been as sure as we are that we are having, in fact, a boy.

The doctor did the ultrasound today and guess what? It is still a boy. How do we know? All the child wants to show are his nuts. His twig and giggle berries. The scrotum.

He seems to be very proud of the old appendage.

Most people have a variety of ultrasound scans that show feet, hands and usually, a profile shot or two. Us? Well, I could fill a book with my child’s weiner.

“Here’s Jizzy’s weiner …

More fun than a ball of twine!

Monday, December 12th, 2005

It is not unusual for me to check the voicemail on my phone and it will tell me “You have 12 new messages.” On one hand, I often do not know if my phone has kicked to voice mail and find out weeks later (it doesn’t like to inform me of new messages), and on the other, I often do not answer.

Why? Because we only have cell phones (no need for land line) and I can’t talk on the phone during the day or I will use up all my “daytime” minutes.

Actual contact with humans, though desired, has fallen by the wayside. What has replaced this, you ask?

NESTING. NESTING. CRAFTS. NESTING. CRAFTS. HOLIDAY PROJECTS.

Internet, I am so damn crafty …

The View From the Stirrups

Sunday, December 11th, 2005

I stood in the bathroom at 8:20 Friday morning, debating if I should shave or not. You see, I would head to the OB’s office that afternoon, a new, different OB, and the thought of keeping the hedge and the legs in shape did cross my mind.

I figured I didn’t have to worry; at 31.5 weeks, who would be doing any form of internal exams?

I arrived at the office and found myself in the exam room. The doctor came in and made the normal doctor chitchat. Herpes? Genetic mutations? Kleptomania?

Next thing I know, two words came out of her mouth, two words that any woman hates to hear. “Internal exam.”

HUH? What? Excuse me? I even at one point told …

Mommy Guilt

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005

The first time I felt “Mother Guilt” was shortly after Ellie was born. I think it was that night, when, in desperation to get some sleep, I sent her off to the nursery. I remember thinking “what have I done? How could I send that baby off like that? She’s so little.”

I still believe that they chased her around with monster puppets in there and told her there wasn’t a Santa Claus.

I think, overall, I have kept the majority of my “Mother Guilt” in check during these past 16 months. Yes, I have my moments where I want to kick myself for not being Super Mom but really, I don’t want to be Super Mom.

I just want to be …

You asked. I answer.

Tuesday, December 6th, 2005

Okay, about two or three of you seem to want to know why I am choosing to cloth diaper. Since that is more than just one person and ha, I just LURVE talking about myself and poop, well, here goes.

For those of you that don’t care, you can stop reading now. Seriously. But, there is talk of poop! I love poop!

Before I had Ellie, I thought about using cloth diapers. I didn’t at the time because ha, I was going to be a new mom and I was already so stressed and jittery and pretty much downright Evil, I decided just to stick to disposables.

So, eventually, I decided that I would try to CD Little Jizzy. For those of …

Second Verse Same as the First

Monday, November 28th, 2005

Since I’m a know-it-all and you really don’t get to know much during parenting and pregnancy, I like to chuckle at first time parents. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a first time parent myself, at least for awhile, but it is the whole First Pregnancy Thing that gets to me.

The belly, the creation of life! It is amazing!

Really it is. But, as I said, I’m a know-it-all, or at least I play one on the Internet.

My pregnancy with Miss E went something like this: I counted down the days and weeks and minutes of my pregnancy. I could tell you exactly what size fruit my child resembled that week. I could tell you if she had ears or toes or …

Gaydar

Friday, November 25th, 2005

I think I’ve mentioned before that I come from a long line of Very Conservative People. I’ll admit it, I used to be one of those people too, that is, before I grew up and got a brain and decided to make decisions for myself.

Now? I have opinions for everyone!

I had a friend once, a friend that had moved to North Carolina from New York City. She asked me what my family “background/heritiage” was. I’m like “I’m a mutt. One side is Cajun and the other side are just crazy breeders that have some Irish up in there somewhere.”

Hence the dark hair with the really light skin. I’m like Snow White without the fame or the Dwarfs.

Anyway, my family …

Vagina Junction, What’s Your Function?

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

…Taking in sperm and spitting out babies!

Hey everyone! It’s the latest installment of “What’s up with SJ’s crotch?” brought to you by the good people at United Healthcare.

Really, I didn’t plan on writing anymore but you know, I keep getting emails from people so I guess I shouldn’t leave you hanging, Internet.

Okay, so long story short. I have made calls to Customer Service, Customer Care, the HR department at The Hubs’ company and The Crab People. (Yes, I am aware that I have now referred to both South Park AND The Family Guy in this little post. Sue me.) I have also made calls to the birthing center as well.

Insurance company: Lies, lies, lies. False promises. We don’t know …

The Hanger Just Seems Too Over-the-Top

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

There’s this magical part of pregnancy, which happens around the 28th week or so, that one hears about but doesn’t think much of. I call it the Late to Bed, Late to Rise phenomena. It happened with Ellie, but I blew it off as a fluke.

You see, at this point in my pregnancy with Ellie, I had just been fired for this little website. So, instead of going to bed early and waking up early, I shifted my sleeping patterns and started staying up late. You know, it can be pretty hard to fall asleep when you just keep asking yourself over and over “What have I done?”

So, I was kind of surprised when my recent natural bedtime went …

Turns out, the river is 500 miles away

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

Sometimes, I really with that I believed in “The Universe.” Such as “The Universe is using me as a giant portapotty.” or “The Universe wants to tie me to the train tracks and run over me.”

I went to the Birthing Center yesterday. It was nice. It was, you know, a birthing center. Good. While there, I decided “Yes I will have the baby here.”

And then, then, The Universe came into play.

This birthing center is literally 5 minutes away from my house. At times, it could be even closer than the hospital. But? It is not considered “in” my “network” for my insurance.

For those of you not sure of what I mean, it means that my insurance doesn’t play nice with …

The Pube Tube

Wednesday, November 9th, 2005

The first time I ever saw a naked woman’s body (my Mom’s doesn’t count) was in a Playboy magazine in a field behind a friend’s house. I was in the second grade and we found a picture of a woman doing things that people probably shouldn’t be doing in fields. The funny thing is, there were two boys from my class, Kevin and Jason, who were also in the field when we found the magazine.

We got into a fight over whose magazine it was. Yes, I got into an argument in the second grade over porn. My Mother would be so proud.

I’ve always been pretty warped when it comes to body image. Not in the whole “I’m fat when …

At least I’m not pooping on your head

Tuesday, November 8th, 2005

When I was in the fourth grade, I accidentally starved my bird, Pretty Boy, to death. (Hi, PETA!) Before I explain myself, may I ask why anyone let me name a freaking bird “Pretty Boy?”

So, I had this cat. I don’t remember the cat’s name. And I had a bird. Turns out, cats like birds. So my cat knocked over my bird’s cage and all the food and water spilled out. Here is where I was a horrible, not to mention filthy, child: I did not clean up the mess. I left it, just like it was, on my floor.

Poor little Pretty Boy went to the big bird cage in the sky.

When I was in the seventh grade, a bird …

In A Van Down By The River

Monday, November 7th, 2005

When I was a little girl, I was a Good Little Girl. I went to Catholic Church and got my First Communion and brought cookies to old people in nursing homes.

Then, I grew a bit older and decided not to be Catholic anymore and switch to Baptist. Yes, I’m such a troublemaker. I don’t know how the world lives with me.

Then, yesterday, I expressed my displeasure in church. Turns out that voting for something such as gay marriage is not a political issue, but a moral issue. I guess I got confused as this is America and we have this thing called Separation of Church and State. In my feeble little mind, I thought that meant that there are …

Why yes, I think there IS a baby in there.

Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

Behold, The Belly at 22 weeks. I’ve had about 200 ultrasounds for various reasons and we’ve checked 210 times to make sure there are not twins in there. Nope, that’s just me and all that coconut cake I keep on eating. But! There is a monkey, so that should make diaper changes just a little more interesting.

Cats and Dogs

Sunday, October 2nd, 2005

I don’t think anyone ever sat me down and said “Hello Little SJ. Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.” I knew, when I was little, that boys had that weird thing between their legs when we changed their diapers.

Someone should have told me that it goes far beyond penises and vaginas.

First things first. Last Sunday, The Hubs committed two Faux Paus within minutes of each other. He arrived home from the grocery store with my donuts in hand (one white with sprinkles, the other a glazed twist) and asked me if I had taken a shower.

I was standing there, my clean hair freshly blow-dried and styled. I was also wearing makeup. (His defense was that …

J to the Hizzo

Monday, September 19th, 2005

So today, after breakfast and lunches, we went to the doctor for the first of approx. 1, 487 ultrasounds. This ultrasound is what one might call the “Important” one because um, it had something to do with gender.

Basically, after driving for a long time, we reach the doctor’s office, Miss E in tow. Even though I wasn’t just dying to know this time as I was with the last, I was curious. It was one of those moments that you know will change things. Like, once I know the answer to the question “What is it?” there will be no more guessing.

I do not have the ultrasound pictures scanned yet, so you’ll just have to trust me when I …

The Second Time Around

Wednesday, September 14th, 2005

Every once in awhile, The Hubs will ask me “What size fruit is Little Jizzy this week?” You see, during my first pregnancy, I proudly announced to anyone and everyone that The Parasite (aka Ellie) was “the size of a grape!” or “a banana!”

Now? I have no idea.

I am assuming it is the size of a 19 week old fetus.

During the first pregnancy, I had plenty of time to obsess over every little minute detail when it came to baby making. This was being formed this week, this was what would happen next time. At exactly 26 weeks, 3 days and 5 minutes, my child would learn to roll around and give people the finger.

Little Jizzy gets his …

A Girl Has Gotta Eat

Monday, September 12th, 2005

I think there is a rule that once a woman becomes “with child,” someone gives her a copy of “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” Really, this book should be known as “How to feel like a horrible mom even before the kid is born” because that’s what the book is about.

A friend of mine loaned me her copy and I poured over it like a preteen boy and Playboy. I read all about the “pregnancy diet” and how IMPORTANT it is to eat Only Good Food.

You don’t think your kid is going to get into Harvard with you only eating Twinkees, do you?

So, I came up with a plan on how I’d follow that diet. I introduced things …

Must be a baby in there

Sunday, September 4th, 2005

As requested a few times, here’s a picture of the Week 18 belly. Again, “belly pic ahead.” I like this picture because it shows the chaos of Ellie’s room.

This is my rifle, this is my gun…

Tuesday, August 16th, 2005

I thought we had it all planned out. You see, before I even became knocked up with Little Jizzy, we had “decided” on names. Same with Ellie. I can’t tell you all the names because one is still in consideration, but one of the names was “Eva.”

It was just one of those things that didn’t seem to “fit.” Like, hmm, I don’t think this baby is an Eva. (Pronounced EEE-vah.)

Eventually, we came up with Ellie after I wrote down a very long list of girls names. I handed it to The Hubs, who promptly crossed out all but two: Ellie and Sophie. I decided on Ellie. It just seemed right. I’m glad we have an Ellie because there’s this guy …

New Leaf

Wednesday, August 10th, 2005

I’ve been throwing around an entry in my head about “turning over a new leaf,” but honestly, it’s just a bunch of crap. Not because I don’t want to turn over a new leaf, I do very much, but the truth is it is hard to do so.

I’m in a rut. I know I’m in a rut. I can see the rut, I’ve put up signs for the rut that say “Warning! Rut ahead!” but it isn’t exactly as easy to get out as one might think.

And before I continue on any further, the rut is not helping my depression. Note I said “depression” and not “self hatred.” Some people out there seem to be confusing the two. I do …

Sleeping My Way to the Top

Tuesday, August 9th, 2005

I’ve never been really “good” at anything. I watch the Olympics wishing I could be half the athlete of a Michelle Kwan or whatever swimming crazy person they have out there. No, I’m scared of (most!) balls, have bad math abilities and am a somewhat mediocre runner.

But? I am a champion sleeper. So champion, in fact, that if there were an Olympics in Sleeping, you would be reading the official blog of the gold medal winner. I’m just that good.

I love to sleep. Some people, like my therapist, don’t get it. They think I sleep because I’m depressed. Heck! I sleep because I have a king size bed with a pillowtop mattress and multiple pillows to choose from. I sleep …

Vomit-licious

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005

“They” say every pregnancy is different. It is true; there are things about this pregnancy that are different from the last one. Take the, um, “extra sensitivity” down there. I had it HORRIBLY last time– let’s just say that sitting down on the potty hurt because everything was so swollen. I also had really bad “growing pains” in my belly and very sore (and big!) boobies.

This time? All of the stuff I mentioned has not happened and I am VERY thankful for that fact.

Unfortunately, the hyperemesis is still here. Even though I’m not exactly the most positive person, I’m having to act positive about this.

Last time, I was working through the barfing. It wasn’t uncommon for me to …

I should have scrapped her first poo

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005

Not that long ago, I frantically searched through Barnes and Nobles, trying to find a “Baby Book” for Little Jizzy. I used the word “frantic” because it was a Saturday and we had Ellie with us.

Not long after I found out I was pregnant with Ellie, I went to Barnes and Nobles and bought a blank book. I guess it could be used for scrapbooking but only if you’re into scrapbooking for little people.

Turns out, I am!

So I bought the blank book because “There’s no way in heck I’m going to take the time to fill out who came to the hospital when you were born.”

In fact, if I had written down who came to the hospital that day, it …

I feel pretty

Monday, August 1st, 2005

I usually don’t post pictures of my belly on here, partly because I realize that not everyone wants to see that type of thing. So here’s your warning: You’re about to see a belly picture.

I went out for lunch with my friend today and decided to dress “nice.” She said I actually looked pregnant, which is nice since my normal baggy clothing makes me look kind of chunky.

The Sarcastic Fetus at 13 weeks. For those of you wondering, no weight gain yet.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

Saturday, July 30th, 2005

There’s a very large difference between men and women and no, I’m not talking about the whole penis versus vagina issue. I mean, hello, is that even an issue? Everyone knows about Power To The Vaginas. Men are just jealous.

Anyway, I’m talking about the ability to turn something very small into something very large. (Ha, that sounds dirty, too. I’m bad. Please spank me.)

So, when I was little I was SURE I had leukemia. Besides the fact that I liked to take naps, was pale (Hello, I’m a white girl in the truest form) and had a few bruises, well, there wasn’t much to back my idea up. But? I was sure of it. I think I casually mentioned it …

What Did Your Vagina Do Today?

Sunday, July 10th, 2005

Many years ago, my stepmother had an accident when a deer ran into her car. She seemed a little upset about it and I joked that life would now be known as BA and AA. Before the Accident and After the Accident.

It is the same way with having kids. My life is now BB and AB: Before Baby and After Baby.

There are things in life nobody should say to a women who is pregnant such as “Wow! You sure are big! Are you sure you aren’t having twins?” I’m going to hang my head in shame to say that I said this to someone once upon meeting and she still became my friend for awhile.

When I was pregnant with …

Hormonally Challenged

Tuesday, June 28th, 2005

I’m not exactly the most level headed person. I totally expect to become that Mom who kicks the kid’s butt on the playground after he trips my child and makes her fall. I’ll throw lemonade in the PTA President’s face and then I’ll laugh about it on the ‘net.

Actually, in person, in the real world, I’m very “normal.” I don’t have outbursts and I’m not one to confront someone who cuts in line.

Get me home, however, and The Crazy comes out. The Crazy is what makes me imagine horrible scenarios the second The Hubs comes home from work two minutes late. Let me just say that The Pregnant Crazy makes The Crazy look like Little Orphan Annie.

The Pregnant Crazy writes …

Two Snips or Not Two Snips. This is a Question.

Saturday, June 25th, 2005

I’ve had many people ask me what I think this baby will “be.” As in weiner or cooter. Innie or outie. It’s one of the fun parts of getting pregnant, along with buying “maternity underwear,” getting to guess the gender sex of the child.

I try to explain to people that I have this “sense” about my babies. I always imagined myself having a boy and then a girl, but the second I got pregnant with Ellie, I knew it was a girl. Then I decided I’d have two girls but a few weeks into this pregnancy, I thought “boy.”

I know, I know, you don’t understand. It’s like my vagina knows. I mean, who else besides my vagina has an …

Not a golden shower, for sure.

Monday, June 20th, 2005

I haven’t felt as desperate as I have this past week in a long time. The desperation I feel as I hunch over a toilet bowl or curl into a ball on the couch is one that I hope I never feel again.

Internet, I’m going to tell you a secret. There have been a few occasions during this week where I thought to myself that I wish I was not pregnant. I do not wish for the baby to go away, no, I just wish that I didn’t feel this way. I am keenly aware of the fact that if I was not pregnant, I could have more options to make myself feel better.

Obviously this baby is wanted and I’m …

Poop Should Go in the Potty.

Sunday, June 19th, 2005

During my last pregnancy, I had a weekly dialogue with my husband that went pretty much like this:

SJ: I do not want to have this baby through my cooter. I want a c-section.
Him: No. You will do it the other way. Its better for you! You don’t want surgery!
SJ: Yes, I want surgery.

This convo continued on up to the day I went into labor, when my dialogue became this:

SJ: I WANT A C-SECTION NOW. (whine. Cry. Pout.) PUHLEASE I CANT HAVE THIS BABY I CANT DO THIS I HATE EVERYONE CUT ME OPEN NOW.
Doctor: Drugs?
SJ: I LOVE YOU I WANT TO MAKE BABIES WITH YOU.

So, I got my drugs (Hello Trolls! I used drugs during labor and they …

Bad Advice Thursdays!

Wednesday, June 8th, 2005

I have a friend who told me that I was a lot “nicer” and “happier” once I went on “the meds.” Yes, its true, the meds took some of my edge off and, trust me, I have a lot of edge. In fact, on most days, my edge resembles the Grand Canyon.

During pregnancy, my edge is the size of Russia. Woohoo! Crazy ladies for everyone!

I mentioned to my therapist yesterday how I felt very “sad” for things I’ve done in the past. I thought it was odd because these “sad” feelings were coming out of nowhere. It turns out, and I’m not lying here, she said “You are feeling remorse! We’re all starting to see your human side!”

Turns out that …

Our little Alfalfa

Wednesday, June 1st, 2005

When my fetus was a hypothetical fetus, meaning it was an egg and a sperm, we referred to it as “To Be Determined.”

It worked well in conversations such as “Man, we better start saving money for when we have to put Ellie and To Be Determined in therapy because we’ve screwed them up so much.”

Now that the child is a nice itty bitty clump of cells in my belly, To Be Determined doesn’t exactly have a nice ring.

I was playing around online tonight, surfing through random blogs and message boards like I always do, you know, to keep it real, when The Hubs looked over my shoulder.

“What is Lima Bean,” he asks.

Besides the obvious answer of “A nasty vegetable,” …

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

Wednesday, June 1st, 2005

We all have a “type.” Before I met The Hubs, I swore my “ideal” guy had blonde hair and blue eyes and a “shorter,” muscular body. Boy, was I surprised when I met The Man of My Dreams. Let’s just say he wasn’t what I usually went for. He had brown hair and eyes, was 6′4 and lanky.

Let me tell you this, ladies: Lanky can be good.

When a single friend of mine says that she isn’t interested in a guy because he isn’t her “type,” I ask her how her “type” has worked out for her so far. Considering she’s wanting to find a guy because all the other guys have been jerks, I say how maybe, just maybe, …

Second Wind

Monday, May 30th, 2005

I ran cross-country in high school. Not like cross-country from New York to LA but cross-country/track. XC.

I had some very few and far between moments when I really wasn’t that bad at running. This usually happened in the off season, where I’d amaze myself and my teammates at just how fast those legs could go.

Then I’d fall down and break my leg so I’d have to spend the next several months “aqua jogging” in a pool.

During those few moments of pure running genius, I’d get what runners call the “second wind.” You know, when, halfway during a run, when you feel there is NO way you can go on any longer, when you feel ready to hack up …


My Flickr photos.